VIEW THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYE GLASS

Another day at work

2011-01-27T19:08:00.002+11:00

So work this week, it's somehow not so hectic. the lowest load we had was 9 pts to spread among us 3 interns. which makes 3 pts each, and most of them were just happily watching television. lol

Today i made a bad boo boo, with a bad bad IV gone wrong. Not that bad, but still i hit a nerve, and the pt was in so much pain she cried and cried and it's an elderly lady that usually has a good pain threshold. She said she couldnt move her hand after a while... I was there all the time beside her except when getting stuff to test and flush the IV. In the end i took it out and got my co-intern to do a good job with a drip. Went so well that i felt worse lol. Guess i need more practice.

My nights on Tuesday was nice and cruzy. only 2 pages the whole shift. how awesome was that lol. Hope things go well for the coming weeks.

my first night cover and my first week of work

2011-01-23T11:11:00.004+11:00

Night Cover /naɪt ˈkʌvər/ (noun):

Time when Ker Fern has to work from 7.30 am to 5pm like a normal day then 5pm to 9.30 pm covering 2 teams of patients which is about 20 to 30 patients.
It is the time when he gets a bit flustered, when the Cover Registrar gets Ker Fern to do him so many favours including 5 x-rays that were urgent with ?perforation.
It is also where i did my first catheter on an awake female patient and wonder if i am going to give her an infection. I also had to assess a ?bowel obstruction with a guy in lots of pain.
Had 2x blood cultures (for septic screens) to do and had a difficult to bleed patient and had to do this at 11pm
All in all, i survived, thinking this is definitely so much better than what life would probably be in Singapore. But i still have lots to brush up on: i need to be faster. And i need need need to learn to hand over and present cases better. All over the place is not a good place to be.

I love my job, Especially when I manage to pacify a worked up family member, when i reassure the family after the patient comes out of surgery or procedure. And also it feels good when you actually know more about the patient than the consultant. (it is kind of expected but i was so used to knowing less about a patient than the consultant when i was a medical student).

Lastly, i am very thankful for the consultant who signed off all my overtime this week.

Also January is zipping fast quick, it's already 24 Jan 2011, cant wait for nikon d800 rumours to come true. Hopefully it will have the new SD UHS1, backlit or new gen of sensor and also new noise reduction capabilities. For those who missed an awesome post of a new compact camera here it is: http://hx9v.blogspot.com/2011/01/sony-hx9v-on-net.html#more

First day of work as a Doctor

2011-01-17T21:02:00.008+11:00

another 4 months lapsed since i last posted and i promise more posts as i travel along my work life. to check that i have a work life balance.

Curently a general surgery intern with 2 other interns with about 25 patients. Cant complain especially with my friends in Singapore that are going to be much more busy. Those who already are doctors in sg are probably laughing ;p

Well it was busy 12 hours at work. Notice i still have lots of things i dunno. And shockingly some i cant look up and have to ask. Like the practical aspects of how much IV morphine to put under PRN (pro re nata, latin for administered as needed), how much fluid to order and how much antiemetics to give.

Other wise. the female Opthamology reg returned my call after a case as i was making a referral for a patient said, "darling, you have to do the visual acuity before u have called me." Well i did try but not hard enough, it was due to a language barrier that made it real tough. After the 'encouragement' from the reg, i spent like 20 mins doing the acuity properly and got the history of the eye problem. Wish i spoke cambodian.

And I think i say sorry too many times, for making people wait, esp discharging patients waiting for their paper work. Hope i say sorry less and get more efficient.

Wished i could have gone for spin class tonight. Probably should suspend gym membership till i get a hang of things. Wanted to do swing my 16Kg Kettlebell, but well too tired and i got to help my friend prepare for interview for tmr. Hope he gets the job =)

Things i want to read tonight: fluid orders, analgesia doses, antiemetic doses

haven't updated in 4 months!

2010-08-08T22:06:00.003+10:00

Lots of thing have happened in the past 4 months.

I am still in love with my gf of more than 2 years, I got a job next year as a doctor in melbourne, I got a bit sick of shooting pics and had a nice hiatus. I have gotten more messy in terms of house hold chores, I am still proud of using my 5 year old laptop and not giving in to temptation to buy a new one. I watched sound of music, My fair lady for the first time.

My career path has changed or gotten a bit more hazy. Cardiothoracic surgery has fallen out of my list. And Radiology has gone into the list. And i still love radiology even after so many months from my radiology rotation.

Now I am on cardiology and it pains me to see a specialty i always like lacks diversity in patients. Maybe i cant take over specialisation. I may end up a generalist.

5th year

2010-03-07T15:11:00.002+11:00

I realise there is so much i do not know. the more i inquire the more i realise that just scratching the surface of this insurmountable pyramid is a slow but sure way to tackling this whole entity of knowledge.

Expectations of the 3rd years have increased after meeting many that are really just bright and burning to learn. But i fear that my expectation become too high, and i communicate too much information, or that i demand too much.

A doctor, english for the latin doctoris which means teacher. And a good teacher has higher expectations of what the students can delvier, but not too high such that the students give up and not spur forwards. Motivation is key, but how do you keep people striving, hungry for more? is it to just keep having passion to deliver experience and knowledge? or is there someway else to keep the light burning, the attention undiverted, in this vast distractable world.

how education impedes creativity

2010-03-07T15:03:00.003+11:00

watched a TED talk about just this topic and got me thinking to write it up.

Our current formal education with whichever part of the world has been developed by people at the epitome of acadamia. This has resulted in us modelling the peak of education is that you end up as some professor in the Uni. Little did we realise that the end point is not the same for everyone. What happened to the rest of the professions, be it skilled labourers and also people in the Arts.

Arts have been relegated to a lowly rank in our education since the start of industrialisation to give way to mathematics and science. This has led us to prosper, but also lead to the loss of creativity. We end up wanting to be ahead of others, end up fear failure. Fearing failure is the biggest flaw in the current education. With the fear of failure, there is no room for experimentation, for imagination, for we dare not take the step that is not certain, not definite.

Creativity stems from this willingness to take risks, and to accept failure as a possible outcome and learning through it. Innovation is but a win after the many losses.

So accept the fear of failure, but strive to take risks for innovation, for we cant stay stagnant anymore.

How i worry about Singapore's future

2009-12-27T00:48:00.000+11:00

Today i met my 小姑 my dad's youngest sister, she was nice to come visit my place as dad's youngest cousin from Malacca is staying at my place for my cousin's wedding tmr.

She is a teacher in Singapore for the past 4 decades and what i heard instilled fear in me with regards to the prospects of Singapore's future. the problems can be summarised as follows, and can be considered general sweeping statements:

children these days are too pampered by their parents: they are no longer 'hungry' for success as parents provide them with cars, money, houses easily. This lack of 'hunger' has led to students not having the right attitude towards teachers
teachers of the newer generation no longer maintain the line between students and teachers. a likely cause for the teacher love fiascos, molests. Teachers start having physical contact with students even in conversations.

What this means for the future of Singapore:

the pampering and the lack of boundaries leads to lack of motivation. Students used to fear punishment by teachers, and the fear motivated them to study. I am not denying other forms of motivation. But it's so much harder to motivate students other ways.
Foreign students that come in are going to or rather already have superseded the locals. It's always the 'hungry' that will fight harder, and with other variables kept the same, the one that fights harder usually gets the prize.

i do not have a solution. But the way things are, if left to carry on. Will lead to the downfall of Singapore. The generation pampered, raised by maids.

My dad's studetns who came to visit

2009-12-24T00:46:00.003+11:00

Here are pics of dad's students who came to visit my house.

Back in Singapore, the year is done

2009-12-13T20:56:00.002+11:00

This year ended not so nicely. not as i expected. i borderlined my GP and Psych OSCE exam. So i had to sit for supps (supplementary paper). That in turn caused me to cut short my Sydney trip with the darling short and fly back 1 day earlier to study. Thank goodness and God that i have such a caring gf to support me as i studied.

Well out of the 4 stations, 3 went well. 1 was dementia ddx. and it was hard to assess the simulated patient as she kept trying to divert ur attention away.

anyways. back in Singapore now. playing with film =) started using mum's old 35mm film slr. it was the first Nikon to do TTL metering the FG 20 =) lol. may play with mum's old medium format twin reflex camera. it's a Yashica D. the lenses are a bit tarnished though will try cleaning it up first. Just learnt that it uses 120 film. and prob only can get it in peninsula plaza.

meanwhile go check out my latest Sydney shots =)

exams are looming.

2009-10-26T17:28:00.002+11:00

exams are in like 17days. and i am just starting to study properly. was studying, but somehow doesnt stick in the head.

I noticed that i havent spent much time reading news recently, and it was reflected when i had a convo with some new people i met. Feels abit sad to be in the dunno rather than in the know.

I had fun so far this year. all the intensive knowledge acquiring and all the interesting people i met along the way.

I'm probably flying back Singapore 10 Dec, because i have to spend sometime on the photography club and some time with the GF =) before we head back to humidity.

good luck to studying guys. and remember to take breaks and eat chocolate.

That's Life

2009-09-28T15:52:00.004+10:00

IT's been so long since i last updated. i apologise for the long long hiatus. HAd been preoccupied with little studying and a lot of photography.

here are some photos that i previously promised

Cheryl's Birthday

The Naked truth (Melbourne Spring Fashion Week)

And on a side note, I got elected as The Monash Caulfield Photography Club President =)
Really happy about it, but a little stressed, as exams are starting 12 NOV! Thank goodness the club doesnt need that much attention now.

here's the club website
and our sister club at clayton

back to studying now =) GP rotation sure is good for studying =)

And i realise something is wrong

2009-09-08T23:43:00.003+10:00

Think for the past few weeks i have got my priorities wrong. Been putting photography way ahead of my studies. Resulting in me doing only mediocre =( Did well for my psych assignment though.

I wan tto do better than jsut mediocre! i promise to study harder for GP and VIA. at least 3-4 hours of work a day =)

Photography, wat have i done with u? Shot so many things and events. Shot 3 Fashion parades/runways/events. Then shot Andrew's 24th birthday and Cheryl Seow's 21st birthday. The editing of the photos is the real killer. Finished with the fashion stuff ,but not the birthdays.

Will upload all my photos soon. The Naked Truth event was really interesting and i got to shoot models in elaborate sets! Resulting in prob the best shots in my life man!

Had an aunt that had a recent Stent for Carotid (artery in her neck) stenosis and also one put in her MCA (artery in her head). She's doing much better now, but on the 24th September, she's going to go for the same thing again but on her right side this time. Hope everythign goes well!

Saturday i am organising a shoot. And i hope things go well. A druggie shoot. Weather looks good on Saturday so far.

I got to bark up with my studies. For sure for sure, i will.

My life recently =)

2009-08-14T19:10:00.003+10:00

Sorry that i havent been blogging lately. jsut not much has been happening to talk about.

I am currently on community psychiatry. where psych recovery clinicans see patients arfter they are discharged from hospital. it's an intersting system that i think singapore can implement if it has not done so.

been playing more badminton lately. and i hope i get some training from Melissa at the end of the year if i can afford the time. hope i can get better so i can at least make my gf run the court to chase my shots.

photography has been so so. finally developed the shots from Werribee mansion and park. turned out really pretty go see =) i finally got a battery grip for my d80 and it looks quite pro with it and can supposedly last 5000 shots lol. may get a 16Gb card soon. MSY a computer store in my area selss stuff real cheap.

lastly. i am organinsing a druggie shot with a few of my friends, hope it can work out. but it is currently clashing with my possible shoot for Stylemelbourne.com for Melbourne spring fashion week. OR can clash with a possible arrival of Becky's parents and her brother =( i went on a sleep study and found ou t that i can have 4 REM sleep cycles in 7 hours of uncomfortable leads on my face and ear phone in my ears. So that show i sleep pretty well. peace =)

The tide comes and goes

2009-07-26T22:48:00.003+10:00

i refer to the photography aspects of my life.

lost the job at the nightclub to a mroe experienced phtoographer. and got an assignment from a online fashion site: stylemelbourne.

so life goes on. i'm currently doing psych at Frankston hospital. really fun i think lol.

And so a new chapter begins

2009-07-05T21:47:00.002+10:00

i've got a new website =) it's http://www.kerfern.com for my photography. have a look and leave some comments =)

tmr will be start of a new semester. starting with psych. and 2 full days of lecture from 0830 to 5 pm

had a good holiday =)

got a photography job where i shoot clubs every friday and get $100 for it.
shot a lot of shoots with victor =)
played DOTA and CS lol
learnt how to play majong properly
dinners with friends
had KTV with friends =)
missed my Becky who went back to sg

at least i had a great time. now it's time to start work again.

Sway, as in bad luck =(

2009-06-22T09:58:00.002+10:00

yesterday went back to the area where i did my model shoot on friday. Was shooting 2 friends when i left my equipment unattended. And i wasnt there for probably 15 mins. i was just about 10-20 metres away but it was a blind corner where i left my lenses.

They were stolen by a guy, without us knowing. And i found out only later when i went back to my camera bag. The damage? 2 lenses, Sigma 70-200mm F/2.8 cost about $1000, and a nikon 50mm F/1.8 about $200. =(

what more? My friend accidentally bumped my flash and it landed on the floor and is not working liao =( sending it to repair in <1 hour's time.

hope my life gets as bad as this. and not any worse.

meanwhile. i'm uploading photos to flickr from my model shoot. they are pretty decent. though as my darling says, they lack the x-factor, like thos in magazines. and i think it's the composition and directing of models which i have to brush up on.

what is it i want to do with my time?

2009-06-07T14:11:00.002+10:00

Shot on friday again.

so now have to process photos. and have to STUDY for exams for friday!

so i spend too much time onphotography. it's something i dare not admit. i probablyshould cut down. but i love it!

can almost feelmy knowledge slipping away as i do up the photos. =(

goodluck to studying and exams everyone =)

love u all.

Was sick again.

2009-06-01T21:50:00.004+10:00

Had a terrible gastroenteritis. with fever, and was winging in bed, could not get out of bed to do stuff. and i am totally fine now =) Thanks for those who were concerned.

Thanks to my Becky who took great care of me, cooked porridge for me, and checked on me ever so frequently, forced me to drink to rehydrate... =)

got a job as a photographer for a club every friday. If you see that i seem to be attending clubbing events on facebook, it's because i am shooting it. not because i got de-jaded of clubbing. so i got some spare cash to pay for my 70-200mm sigma F/2.8 which is on its way. prob in the air now. again ordered through ebay. man i am excited! the unravelling of another aspect of photography that i have yet to untap.

meanwhile I have a cousin who's getting married this December! she's currently based in Germany. I think it's cool to have another cousin married. I offered my services as a spare photographer. but i wonder if they'll take my offer. they feel bad as i am supposed to be a guest lol.

And exam on 12 and 16 of June. need to hit the books now =) take care readers =)

Headache

2009-05-24T23:33:00.002+10:00

having a headache now from a possible neck strain from sleeping too much.

well it's part of recuperating from the virus that gone from my nose to now my right lung. but prob from also erratic sleep patterns in the past 2 days.

went to shoot on Friday. A clubbing event called Flaunt Fridays at BLVD club in Southbank. came home at like 3. slept at 5
woke at 5am Today (sunday) to go to Airport to fetch Melissa and Mavell =)

so as u guessed it, the studying hasnt happened over the past few days. but well i am starting now.

meanwhile. i think i love my darling more each day =)

sick again

2009-05-17T13:41:00.002+10:00

seems like this year has got me sicker than most. i am down with the cold. one that has resulted in me missing a Surgical group simulation and training day program with MUSIG (monash uni surgical interest group), and missed a possible opportunity of finally earning some cash from photography, shooting a night club event, yes clubbing!

well i am enroute to recovery but i think tmr i still shouldnt be seeing neonates, for fear i give them the cold and kill them.

thank God that i have a caring and loving half to take care of me so well. we ended up going to Hoyt's for movieS. yes we watched 2, we got tickets for Star Trek but i got a bit spontaneous after the nice movie and decided to stay with Becky for the next show that we wanted to watch: Angels and Demons. Haaha and tt's with only one ticket ;pp

meanwhile in studyville, it's 3 weeks to exams and i havent been reading because i have been to shagged from a busy Frankston hospital for paeds, o i have been sickly. so i gotta catch up. can't let the others surpass me so easily lol.

Jason Mraz Concert =)

2009-04-28T00:59:00.005+10:00

So the couple went to a/the Jason Mraz concert. It was Becky's first so i thought it would be nice for us to be near the stage. And the standing tickets got us to about 3rd row =)

performance by Lisa Mitchell revealed an ataxic attractie girl with voice tics. She sang wierd, couldnt pronounce words well and had terrrible showmanship.

Eric Hutchinson was lovely. he sings well and engages the audience. and well has cute blob of hair lol.

Jason Mraz was great. too bad he performed for only 1.5 hours of the 4.5 hours we were there. Kary and Becky were disappointed as i was at the length. His performance was nice though =) even got Becky moving and dancing on the floor =)

Let some pics do the walk and talking =)taken using Becky's omnia. my dSLR was not allowed inside =(

Scrambeled eggs

2009-04-19T12:22:00.002+10:00

I chanced upon a video which Gordon Ramsey demonstrates how to make the perfect scrambled eggs, without waking the missus ;p

i tried it without the butter and the cream, with portobello mushrooms and normal big tomatoes sliced half, with bread that's really toasted on the verge of burnt.

and the result was a very happy loving couple having happy breakfast. =)

so go try it this weekend =)

So nothing much has been up

2009-04-14T17:11:00.002+10:00

Easter break came and went. At least we did something this time. Went to DFO (that's duty free shopping). I got a nice top for $17 from esprit. She got nice boots for $40, some nice tops from Esprit too.

then after we went Mount Dandenong for a nice sunset and also a nice dinner at SkyHigh (the restaurant there)

Been reading Paeds, and well there is atad too much but i will strive on =)

So here's a few shots of my model shoot on friday at theBotanical Gardens. I had the pleasure of getting Diane (It's Deee Ah Nah) (a friend of a photographer) to be the model, didnt get to shoot the professional models that Victor got to come. too bad. But well the pictures are not bad =)

Ah finally a post with pictures

2009-04-05T17:32:00.004+10:00

I have finally uplaoded my photos from a city shoot. I attended the shoot with the Monash photography club and i had a lot of fun. Especially seeing Victor whom i was introducing photography to about 2 years ago with his point and shoot, now matured to be a photographer probably better equiped than i am. he's got really good shots too, and i am glad we can learn from each other now =)

i am heading of to paediatrics for 5 weeks at Monash Medical Centre and then 4 weeks at Frankston hospital. Looking forward to it, but getting a bit stressed about it. Havent really studied hard for O&G and still trying ot finish up some notes, while also trying to pre read paediatrics.

Meanwhile mum's gone to Europe with my Aunt, haha wish i was there.

okay here are my fav photos from Saturday's shoot: the first shot has all 3 traffic light colours! =)

oh my i sure am slacking on updating

2009-04-04T16:29:00.002+11:00

Apologies for not updating weekly as i used to. life has been quite busy this year.

so we end our first rotation in 4th yr. and it's the end of O&G for me. PAeds is coming fast next, and i am kinda worried, there's so much so much!

went out for a city night shoot with the photography club last night and i'm currently doing up the photos now. so keep your eyes peeled for them.

i realise the true power of waking up early and fast. like if i slept till past 11, and keep sticking to the bed instead of rising in an instant, my whole day will be infected by sleepiness. So i learn that it's not the number of hours that determine the rest of my day but how i wake! Coffee helps as well but well i shouldnt be substance dependant.

and i realise how Surgery is calling for me, but i stilllike cardiology. i like procedural stuff that's only a few specialties: Surgery, Cardiology, Gastroenterology, O&G, interventional radiology.

and well. i think gastro is abit tooo boring for me, and O&G is still on my list of possibilities. we'll see =)

all i need is some research to boost my Curiculum Vitae.

And i am down with a cold

2009-03-14T23:34:00.003+11:00

i reckon i just had a bit of fever just now. but my darling has been taking great care of me. forcing bed rest on me if not she was gg to make me bed ridden.

heating up meals, giving me meds, while i wonder what's day and night. and i remember dad said, 'it's always nice to have someone to give u a hand when you are down, that maybe the only reason to share your life with.' well there's no doubt about nicce having someone around, but well there are many other reasons too, to have a companion in life =)

today's got a cold night, and my nose is blocked again. hope the weather holds up well tomorrow, for i am to see flying planes, that i hope will not be grounded tomorrow, for they do not fly in strong winds as well not only in heavy rain.

Thank you darling =)

it's busy isnt it

2009-03-11T19:44:00.004+11:00

4th year isnt exactly killing me. but i sorta lose track of time and date. and i have been studying much more thanks to my darling who keeps pushing me on.

it's an interesting experience living with your loved one. you see each other so often, and yet you never get sick of them.

and i am so sad that i have so many photos to process but no time to. i prob will do some before i start studying again.

Good luck to those who are taking their MBBS exams =) yes that includes you Dr Poon.

i had a fantastic time at Warrnambool. For our 9 weeks of O&G, we get to do mentor week. It's a week where u follow a O&G consultant to everywhere he/she goes, to clinics, theatre, and other places like their house. lol. i got to go to a rural place and get attached to the O&G unit there.

that's 6 doctors, including 5 consultants. i was sad that i didnt drive there and took a train. that meant that i had to walk all around. thought the furthest is a 30 min walk. and i got to prob learn more than i had for the past 4 weeks. i stayed in a motel which the doctors kindly sponsered and went to theater and clinic and ward rounds everyday! =)

so i conclude that rural life is actually sucky for internet, but great for learning, and it's a good place to lose weight if u do not drive.

i met a few melbourne uni medical students and they are doing their cardio, respi rotation there with rural. and they have so much knowledge from books, but it was obvious they needed more ward experience which was what they were there for. i attended a tutorial with them and it was fun =).

I think i like O&G

2009-02-23T20:39:00.002+11:00

so life is not all about work and studying. sometimes there's play. but when it comes to O&G, it some how seems to be both. i look forward to going to see operations especially.

and i like it that there are more signs that i may actually start to have a direction in my career:

I got to suture just 4 stiches and i was over the moon, couldnt stop smiling.
i was in the change room with the theatre assistants and staff, and they all agreed that i have the personality and feel of a surgeon
i actually like being in theatre and i get a rush of adrenaline

so it seems surgery is getting higher on my list. we'll see about that.

meanwhile, becky and i played baddy with Ezra, Tze En, Melissa. i was so trashed by all of them. their shots struck me with awe. yes awestruck i was. this time, the girlfriend had a bad fall and i have to help her nurse her twisted ankle. think i should buy her a bell soon to call for me. lol

and i am studying much more thanks to the gf pushing me on =) up from my lazy chair to the couch where no computer lies is my fav spot for studying now =) computers are evil.

Good luck to those mugging hard for their final MBBS in singapore. and good luck to those who are overseas for attachments.

Back in Melbourne!

2009-02-08T21:56:00.002+11:00

Hey sorry it's been so long since i updated. i am back in melb and starting on obstetrics and gynaecology. Saw my first birth on my 2nd day. it's a lovely experience and the motehr didnt want any pain relievers, including gas! how brave was she!

the love between the father and the mother was so beautiful, how he was always by her side, and giving her back rubs when she is in painful contractions. how he was holding her hand when she was pushing. And how a first time father feels at a lost what to do but is guided by his heart and feelings.

it was lovely.

and i realise i got no time to do up my photos. so i guess i got to try catch up with my work first.

Taiwan and Singapore

2009-01-14T03:01:00.006+11:00

Taiwan trip was not bad =) liked the atmosphere, weather, girls (though missed my Becky a lot!), took many nice photos (finally got to take decent waterfall photos).

too bad i didnt get the chance to use the Hot springs it was in the basement of my hotel!

i hope i will get to cable ski this weekend. seems like response from my classmates a bit bad. and i will be working on thurs the Zeco scooters are being launched!

Had a great catch up with Wendy and Damien when they came to Singapore. think they are just leaving for HK! cool holiday for them.

now let the pictures do the talking. photos not to miss:

Taiwan is awaiting

2008-12-30T22:42:00.002+11:00

Tmr i leave singapore on a 0830 flight to Taiwan!

havent been to Taiwan since the army daze. and looking forward to the cooler weather. but the crowd i am with is mum and her friends. so i suppose i am more restricted to do what they prefer rather than roam about with young fun stuff. Mm well older stuff can be fun too i suppose. and i got my other girlfriend to take care of my boredom (it's my camera lol)

Hoping that i will be able to have some fun on the trip and go around with a friend rather than me covering my ears trying to not hear the neighbouring rooms of people mm paying for service.

i wonder how much memory cards i need. mm need to get some ebooks in my PDA just in case.

i have uploaded some photos. mm tt sums up what i have been up to. =)

And so i end up working again. and not in a hospital sigh.

2008-12-21T01:35:00.002+11:00

wanted to slack this hols but ended up getting stuck with work again.

and its RETAIL again.

so i am apparently selling scooters in front of Shaw house. Well at least it's a cool electric scooter, not some lame stuff, And the pay is wayyy more than usual. So what a way to kill 10 days.

meanwhile the gf just went HK. and i am gg Taiwan!!! i gg Taiwan 31 Jan i think.

toodles.

Back in Singapore

2008-12-15T00:58:00.002+11:00

got to drive the first day i came back. but dad's car is really old and i wasnt used to it at all. gve my parents a few shocks here and there. but well it was not bad. clutching was good. just tt my turns were a bit too fast.

fell sick with allergic rhinitis, loads of runnings in the nose, starting to have a bit of a cough. boo

and i got a relative with a brain tumour, gg to see her tmr. hope she gets well soon.

hope this will be a good holiday. maybe gg to taiwan in the christmas period =)

update!

2008-12-08T02:59:00.002+11:00

havent posted for a long time due to exams and post exam packing and moving. i am just about settled. and i am glad i have a car now !!!! =)

so finally moving in to the girlfriend's and we are trying to find a housemate for next year. realise the rooms are a little small and the storage space is little. but well it's all worth it. going to miss my old place at St kilda Road. nice apartment albeit pricey one. and my hosuemates there. a bond that i have created.

and so i got a car! it's a second hand Hyundai Getz. 4 year old but 33, 000 kms tt's really low. and well got it for 10K. not the best of deals but well not too bad. and wat's important is that i am happy when i am driving it. yay! and i travelled 100km since Saturday. going all over to polish up my rusty manual driving skills. Stalled a few times in the past few days. But it's getting better.

Trying to go home on coming friday. my ticket is on23rd Dec but i'll try to wait at the airport and see whether i can get on any flights.

At last back to Singapore soon.

And photos are being processed. coming up soon

talk about procrastination. exams tmr. and well time passes by through nonsensical browsing

2008-11-23T14:00:00.002+11:00

Lightning:

Inhaling Hexafluoride

Don't Judge too quickly

Guinness: tipping point

Battle of the sexes

stop the bullet

the end is near

2008-11-09T23:27:00.004+11:00

so 3rd yr med is ending soon. 1 more week of visiting patients. and OSCEs is on 21st, the written paper on the 24th.

so we reflect the year, in our log book. seeing how much or little we have done. and how people are scrambling about to get their log books signed off by the indispensable 5th yr.

studying has not been half as well as i hoped. and i am real scared now. thank god i got good practice along the year and a good gf who teaches me so much, that i think i will survive.

Dad just sent me many strings of chinese well wishes in rows of 4s again =) parents are at Cameron highlands! and i have never been before! lol

i havent really lived up to my own expectations, but i will work hard from now. i hope i keep this promise =)

Currently i got a few frustrations:

i am not studying well
housing for next year is complicated
i am not gg to get to see many beloved friends next year

btw, WEP and WPA securities for wifi are now crackable boo. the race between black and white never ends does it.

An Excel music video

2008-10-27T15:25:00.001+11:00

now this is cool stuff. creating a music video from using an excel spread sheet. =)

download it here

i read it from here

k back to studying.

excited!

2008-10-20T22:08:00.002+11:00

i joined a gym membership today! it's $1 for 30 days it's Genesis Fitness club, just like 5 to 10 min walk from my place. cool lah =) no swimming pool though.

and tmr i am gg to see a trainer to assess my fitness level. hope i didnt run myself down too much today.

tired. but need to study

A loooong but good day

2008-10-16T20:22:00.005+11:00

today woke at 0645hrs, to go to Sandringham hospital for General Surgery. Went there with Yeo early to do injections, got to each do 1 =). And the surgery list seemed less packed today, and Yeo and i decided to go see surgeries.

In between we had Radiology tute by the private contracted radiologist. IT was great. he basicallly taught us all the Radiology that was happening as he works. so he dictates and then teaches us at the same time. got to see an U/S guided cyst aspiration of a thyroid.

so here are all the 6 surgeries i watched today.

hemithyroidectomy: removing 1 side of the 2 sides of a thyroid
direct inguinal hernia repair: scrubed in for this one
Lap Choly: laproscopic cholecystectomy: key hole surgery removal of the gall bladder
pilonidal sinus removal: Yeo scrubbed in for this
Haemorroidectomy: removal of a haemorrhoid: I scrubbed in for this
Lap appendicectomy: laproscopic removal of a inflammed appendix

so i think i pretty much seen almost most surgeries that occur in a general surgeon's life. And i actually think it's interesting. especially the laproscopic ones. the scars are like almost not seen lah.

time to study. i am getting a bit freaked out that exams are close by =) about time i freaked out.

Who affects your life, who you live for, and who you have beside you

2008-10-14T16:33:00.002+11:00

A consultant mentor of mine mentioned an interesting statement: "In life there are 3 things/people which/whom are most important

God
Your life partner
Your Job

They determine what your life is or will be. And he added on that it is important to select the right partner for it will make or break you." (this are probably not his exact words). As we all know, many say behind a successful man is a woman. And i do agree this to a great extent, other than the tinge of sexism in the statement, well behind a successful woman can also be a man.

I believe that you need a supportive partner to succeed in work, for we only have to hands and 24 hours. The time and place we need our hands are more than 24 hours and more than 2 places at once. And another pair of hands help to save the day. Another pair of hands shares the load, another pair of hands can give u a hug. But well if you choose a wrong partner (was lazy to think of a more politically correct term), you end up ruining each other's life. Life gets miserable as you require more time and effort to appease the other half, to live with your other half and just to live life. It gets tough, and you end up not being able to channel the energy needed to succeed in life.

Success in life has many measures, but well happiness is a good measure. And it's contentment at arriving at your goal (that is set realistically) that brings themost happiness. Another mentor said that a lot of guys in our society have depression because they work for $ and it is never enough.

back to the main point. So i believe we must trust and believe and select carefully to succeed.
and my view point of the 3 points is that Family is the aspect that should replace your life partner. At the end of the day, Mum and Dad are the only pair in the world. you can choose anyother wife, but well family is family. And then comes the family u create with your other half. They are hopefully your support, your cheerleading squad, and the reason you live and work for.

i sure hope we all succeed in life.

Happening LAH

2008-10-06T22:56:00.004+11:00

just had a happening weekend, i.e. lots of activity and no studying. Actualy it was jsut a happening Saturday. LET the peektures do the talking =)

Spent the whole morning finding a nice watch for Kary for her birthday. it was the earliest i have ever been to Chadstone shopping centre
then went to Singapore day. Many people, many types of food, from Nasi lemak to chili crab, hokkien mee, char kway teow, chendol, bah chor mee, kaya toast and the list goes on. and best of a it was free!
we had to queue though. sure does remind me of singapore, the queuing i mean lol.

The girlfriend and I tried the char kway teow and the hokkien mee, not bad. and the prawns are HUGE. didnt get a picture though.

left early because we thought it was getting boring. it wasnt boring when phua chu kang was on stage. yes: gurmit, Tank Keng Hwa and the rest of the cast were here. cool =)

then night came: Becky and i went to Kary's 21st party at a restaurant @ Hardware Lane. great stuff i tell u.
then we were supposed to go for Xinyi's 22 bdae party, but we were too late =(((( very sad that we couldnt make it. and we all ended up adjourning to Jas's place where i get reminded i am still terrible at Guitar heroes lol. Mm and the gf and i were tired so we went back early to sleep.

HAd a bit of fever last night. and i hope tonight will be better =)

And today, there's news that Ministry of Sound close liao, and i havent even stepped in before lol.

a great week

2008-09-28T15:45:00.002+10:00

so this week went by great =)

scored well on my assignment and did well for my MCR =) at last studying hard pays off, credits go to Becky who helped me so much with my Renal history revision. THANK YOU BECKY =)

and also she planned my birthday which was a blast. the happiest birthday i had i a long time =) went to Kobe Jones, posh restaurant with fusion japanese food. photos are yet to be processed. they were taken by Yeo. THANKS TO THOSE WHO CAME =)

mm then went to the OCF play Hell's Kitchen where Xin Yi was the Sound 'Guy' with another guy. preferred last year's play though, which was directed and written by Xin Yi.

and lastly i finally found the virus which i got from Amy and passed to Yeo and Becky. Smart virus writer that hid command to startup the virus every time we startup windows in an obscure part of the registry. It then downloads other viruses from the internet and it hides in the recycle bin. My antivirus couldnt detect it, but thank goodness detects the viruses it downloads =)

interestingbut may be slightly disgusting to some: HIV talk

2008-09-18T22:30:00.002+10:00

not many people are aware of how the risk compares with different styles of intercourse so here goes (for my fellow colleagues):

The relative risk for HIV transmission varies from 100 for receptive anal sex, 20 for receptive vaginal sex, 13 for insertive anal sex, 10 for insertive vaginal sex, to 2 for receptive fellatio vs 1 for insertive fellatio.

HIV transmission by oral sex between men has been reported.
HIV transmission is reduced by approximately 80% with condom use.

the point about transmission by oral sex has been underestimated by many. Especially many teens in the US think that oral sex is safe, but actually still carries a risk. A colleague of mine got to interview a patient with HIV who was male. He had oral sex with his parter and got HIV from his partner because he had dental work done and had a cut in his mouth.

interesting disease this is, and the therapy takes a long time for me to understand and remember.

Viruses

2008-09-12T02:03:00.003+10:00

Wah i have spent >10 hours on Amy Khoo's laptop already and i am still pek chek (irritated). I cannot fully remove this clever and powerful virus that is really irritating.

it infects exe files, and infects every program you open. then it inactivates the background protection by the antivirus. And it attacks a crucial file in windows: rundll32.exe. so i try to remove the virus from this file and the computer shutsdown. so basically i cant remove the virus totally as it always shuts down. and when it boots up, all the files are re-infected again. lol

here are some medical analogies for computer viruses.
Amy's lappy was immunocompromised (she did not have an antivirus) and there was huge propagation before she noticed it (multiple exe files corrupted). The virus was also a immunosuppressant like HIV (it disabled the antivirus i installed), and vaccination proves a challenge (the antivirus is not working as well as it should).

and well i havent got any studying done today thanx to this virus.

Macs have viruses, but well the probability of getting one is soooo small. maybe i will get a mac. Nah just kidding.

i should try this some day. (probabably when i have my own little kid) ;p

2008-09-10T11:43:00.004+10:00

A video by a photographer i admire a lot: Phitar. amazing flickr pool of pictures. And always lovely travel photos.

Lalalalaser weapons!

2008-09-08T10:25:00.003+10:00

Laser: light amplified by stimulate emission of radiation

Boeing has been testing some hardcore nasty ass Laser weapons. capable of shooting down missiles in the air and even offensive onto the ground.

i read before too there is a ground mounted one that can destroy multiple incoming missiles. there was a hot video which i cant find now.

well the era of laser weapons is entering. cool =)

Cool video about shooting sports =)

2008-09-07T10:39:00.007+10:00

video credits to Vincent Laforet

the many many many cameras and $$$$ of equipment!!!
meanwhile, photos are up =) go look. had a great week with Kel's and Andrew's birthday party

had a fantabulous self declared holiday with the darling. check out the few photos =)
we played CS. yes yes counterstrike lol. we miss it ;p

Internet explorer "porn mode"

2008-08-28T21:00:00.002+10:00

one of the funniest things ever, a privacy mode in new internet explorer to conceal your 'movements'

credits to Gizmodo

this week in my life

2008-08-24T22:02:00.005+10:00

So today i went for the Anatomy quiz with my teammates Becky and Melissa (the 4th year meddie=)) it was fun, but well we didnt do very well and we attributed that to calculation error. the topic was thorax and our score was worse than some participants who didnt study. so well w didnt win. it was a $500 book boucher flown away lol. well we may joint the next quiz: head and neck.

and at last i started on my CAT assignment. we have to appraise a journal article that would eb able to answer questions arising from a clinical scenario. the arduous journey to complete the assignment (which some may argue takes only a few hours) is still on for me. but well at least i got to play with an opthalmoscope again thanks to my baby.

and this week something triggered a lot of thought. it's about burning paper for the deceased.
there are many who say that burning paper whether houses or paper 'hell money' is part of buddhism. i can safely say i do not think so, it may be a part of taosim, but it isnt part of true taoism too. it probably is art of what some call 多神教 yup translated to many god religion, where most of the time in the religion is spent worshipping numerous gods.

offerings to gods have been part of worship by many religions, it is a form or respect and also expression of fear. Whether it is the sacrifice of the numerous lambs in the bible, or the sacrificial processions in the muslim mosques or burnt incense for buddhism and taosim, it is still for worship. But the problem is when people get too involved in worship and forget about the teachings of the various religions. the christian teaching of love, the buddhist teaching of enlightnment, the teachings of taoism of The Way, and we get too caught up in the lowest level of religion, just worshipping alone.

then the burning of offerings gets extended to the burning for the deceased. it used to be incense to show respect for the deceased, that they are not forgotten. then came the square paper with a gold centre bordered by a red square, that was fanned out in a fashionable way and tossed one at a time into the burning inferno. Then came the belief that burning 'hell money' and houses and cars and what nots are for the deceased to 'live comfortably' in the afterlife.

well we can start thinking about the production of the paper stuff. they do have exquisite designs, mercedes cars and huge mansions. and the detail put into the 'hell money'. so somehow this stuff that we print and onstruct when burnt ends up in the afterlife. but well the mercedes car does not have a steering wheel or the boot space, the mansions have no bulbs or fridge or car porch or toilets, the hell money probably can be photocopied. so it really doesnt make sense to me the EXCLUSIVITY of the objects burnt and the fact that that bunch of paper used to make a house costs thousands of $$$. should get my architect friend to go into this business. my point is that why do you have to buy it from this swindling businessmen?

next is of course the process of burning, in what way does the burning of the offerings end up in the afterlife? mm wouldnt the house or cars be too small? and what makes you think there is ability to bring these material stuff over to the afterlife if there is one?

okay enough said. ranting ranting. and just to remind, these are my point of view, everyone is entitled to state their believes ;p and apologies to all those out there buying real houses and real cars from the money they earn from selling these paper ones ;p

Why men cheat?

2008-08-19T19:58:00.008+10:00

i am not an expert nor a well read person on this subject, but this are just my thoughts and opinion
This may explain why cheating happens, but this doesnt mean that i think it's right. It is wrong, wrong, wrong, period.
well the things i have to say are from my perspectives of social norms, and of course you are entitled to have differing concepts of what is normal. leave a comment =)

what is cheating? traditionally: it's having sexual relations with people other than your partner. it has been extended to wider ground especially in asian conservative culture to just doing anything that seems to express your liking for another person through physical and emotional means.

So why?
males of all creatures that run around are born to instinctively spread his seed to get as many offsprings as possible for procreation, while females were born to stick to one companion and take care of the offspring. this is of course an overgeneralisation, there are birds that have only 1 partner ever and do not ever find other partners when their female partner dies like the love birds.
A friend did remind me, after all we are humans not animals, so we should have some control over such unscrupulous behaviour, and be able to fight such instinct of promiscuity, and i agree!
My darling reminds me that females release one egg once a month while guys release 70 million sperm each time they ejaculate. So much for monogamy.

another reason why is that guys say that they get bored of their current relationship and the thrill of chasing another girl makes his life more intersting. well there is no denying that the chase can be more elaborate and fulfilling than the relationship itself. However, there is a commitment to make in relationships and going around chasing other skirts should not be for those who intend to keep their partners. ;p

then there is seduction, if the root of the problem is not with the guy, it has to be the vixen aint it? constant exposure to seduction and also lack of negative feelings towards the vixen will only lead to trouble in a short time, (like a stone of benevolence being attrited slowly) unless he is willing to stick to his current partner no matter what. Well usually vixens are more attractive, though they offer less stability and security, but well guys are always a bit thick headed when it comes to choosing sometimes.

then there are those that slowly and gradually inch closer to liking. it's a friend that you know, then you realise you got many things in common, then without a clear transition the intense liking happens, and you get shocked when you suddenly realise you start wanting to use the L word. The scariest reason in my opinion, it creeps on you slowly.

Well and to end this post. for those who have cheated and those who intend to cheat, think twice about how much you love your so called other half, because if you loved her enough, you wouldnt have cheated, and it is not really worth wasting time if there has been no love.

All you want to and ever need to know about glomerulonephritis

2008-08-13T09:24:00.001+10:00

DOI: 10.1016/S0140-6736(05)66583-X

it's an article in Lancet 2005

=)

2008-08-11T17:47:00.002+10:00

So smilies have started to make it on my blog titles!

studied well with the gf the past weekend and also got to cook ku lou yok (not a very good attempt though). Had a huge dinner with Becky's granduncles and their friends and i am really glad got to meet them, such successful people.

having MCRs (mini case reports(my mini exam)) tomorrow and i think i should be fine, but my tuttor just grilled 2 of my groupmates and i like his style: asking questions till you cannot answer them to assess your level of knowledge.

Apologies the photos are coming on slowly. it is a good thing: means i am actually studying ;p

it's getting quite cold here, but well at least they are getting some water for their drying dams.

so good luck to me tomorrow for MCRs, and hope my gastro/Renal/Urology rotation works out well =)

Happy Birthday!

2008-08-04T00:31:00.002+10:00

First: Happy 23rd Birthday to John Lee Wei Chern. 2 Aug =) had a good call.

Then: Happy 21st Birthday to Bambie Lee. 3 Aug Thanks for everything =) photos will be up soon.

and something interesting to calculate distances in the world: Google Map Distance Calculator

Aparently, or as a matter of fact, i am 6059Km from Home while i sleep every night =)

Guilt

2008-07-21T00:42:00.003+10:00

i have been awfully lazy. we think to ourselves of great excuses of why we have a reason to slack when we actually do not. the reasons include:

we have done so much already and deserve some rest (having a 6 day week, had a full day of ENT lectures)
we need to rest so that we can work harder later
we need to be at our best (after a rest) to study or work hard
.....

and then after when we slack we feel the guilt. or at least i do, because the reasons are not substantial enough to cover the lack of work i have accomplished. And then fear and guilt enters the scene.

fear that we will not become capable enough for the future. especially for a few of us who will have lives at stake in our jobs
fear that we will not be able to compete in a dog eat dog world
guilt that time gone is never going to come back
guilt that you have not lived up to the expectations of the many people suppporting you all the way

life is about pushing on, even when you are weary, resting only when you really need to.
concentrate on 1 thing at a time. it's the key to success: that's what many successful people said, including dad. this is especially so for people like me who totally cant multitask.

Place i want to go!

2008-07-14T15:28:00.004+10:00

Originally uploaded by 米死米(MSM)

Varadero.

not taken by me but a friend online.

LOOK AT THE BLUE SKIES! OMG

yummy and if can bring gf to shoot somthing like tt WOW! =)
credits to 米死米(MSM)

the cold world Starts again after her birthday

2008-07-14T00:08:00.005+10:00

after 4 weeks of fun and play. it's now time to face the cold reality of a sick dying world in cold cold Melbourne.

Got sick in the last week with the GF, and now getting better. though at the moment have got a headache that i refuse to medicate.

made a hazelnut parfait for the GF's birthday. it's like a hazelnut ice cream of sorts and took me 3 hours.

here's the recipe:

Yes! i took the picture. and i made that!

Honey and hazelnut parfait with chocolate sauce
Fantasy and inspiration, in the setting, at table, in the food
Ingredients for 12 portions:
For the chocolate sauce:

unsweetened cocoa 8 g
flour 4 g
sugar 40 g
milk 100 g
Chopped baking chocolate 30g

For the Italian meringue:

sugar 200 g
egg white 100 g
water 80 g

For the parfait:

egg yolks 2
sugar 50 g
milk 165 g
flour 8 g
butter 5 g
isinglass 4 g
dairy cream 165 g
Piedmont hazelnuts 80 g

Piedmont hazelnuts 20 g
honey 50 g
sugar 100 g
Start the chocolate sauce by mixing the ingredients cold, except for the baking chocolate. Heat over a low flame and bring to boiling. Remove from the burner and add the chopped baking chocolate; stir well until it dissolves. Cool and set aside.

Make the Italian meringue by boiling the sugar with water, bringing the mixture to 120° C. Beat the egg whites until stiff; add the sugar syrup and amalgamate the mixture until it cools.

For the parfait, soak the isinglass in a little cold water. Beat the egg yolks with the sugar, the flour and the melted butter. Combine mixture with the boiling milk; mix well and remove from the heat when it reaches boiling. At this point squeeze the water from the isinglass and add along with the cream.

Toast the hazelnuts in the oven for a few minutes; allow to cool. Chop 80 g of hazelnuts, pass through a sieve and add to the base of the parfait, together with the cold meringue. Pour mixture into single-portion moulds and put in the freezer for at least 6-8 hours.

Cook the sugar with the honey at 156° C and caramelise the remaining 20 g of toasted hazelnuts. With the rest of the sugar, form skeins of candy floss using the tines of a fork.

Turn out the parfaits on a plate and decorate with the chocolate sauce, the caramelised hazelnuts and the candy floss.

from:

<http://www.thi-hotels.com/hotels/golden-palace/restaurant/chef-recipes/honey-and-hazelnut-parfait-with-chocolate-sauce.html>

i modified a bit: used gelatin instead of isinglass, and added choc to the parfait to make it more brown.

better go to sleep soon before the headache gets worse

Back in Melbourne

2008-07-12T03:37:00.002+10:00

So sad that i didnt get to meet so many people, even though it was a great break. Spending time with parents and the GF and of course a few bonus friends ehre and there.

Gentlemen start your engines, for the up coming semester. i got so much i havent done that i was supposed to do! Gambate!

Time is relative

2008-06-28T14:17:00.001+10:00

here's a cool video about time and also a story about how humans develop and perish.

and i love the concept a lot =) think i am getting farty.

Bill Gates Retired.

2008-06-28T12:37:00.005+10:00

Video: Bill Gates' Last Day - CES Clip

for those who havent been as nerdy as me, Bill Gates has just retired and here's the star studded video of how his last day at work it like. It got me laughing so badly lol.

And here is the timeline of his life (click for a high res version):

and of course credits to Gizmodo for the timeline, and tweakvista for the edited video of the presentation of CES 2008

another thing to share

2008-06-26T00:15:00.002+10:00

for people who are like me a cheap freebie hunter who users rapidshare like no tomorrow 2 things

1. two search engines:
http://rapidshare-search-engine.com/
http://www.gappon.com

2. happy hour checking at rapidshare: you can d/l files from rapidshare during happy hours without answering security questions, this add on is for firefox only though.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/7353

interesting things to share

2008-06-25T12:06:00.004+10:00

3 things to share this day:

1. Look out BEcky and Jon (Becky's bro) someone is really selling his life on ebay, ur days of telling people to go on bay to bid for a life (i.e. get a life) have come true. And you can really recommend people who need a life to go bid for one. It's set in perth so not too bad like the sun there.
the commentary
the ebay page

2. How Taipei 101 is stable when it's 600 feet (about 200m) from a fault line in the chinese earthquake. check out the video of the swerving of the ball (on the site)

3. photographs of the secret satelites for black ops. haha at least shots of them passing by.

and just an update. i am loving Singapore.

Back in Singapore

2008-06-15T12:37:00.002+10:00

so i am back in singapore after a mad spontaneous rush to come back. And i told my parents about Becky and they're alright. went better than i expected. so i am happy happy.

weather's killing me. i am sweating like a pig, think i am burning enough calories just sitting here sweating.

diabetes update

2008-06-10T00:46:00.003+10:00

here are 2 news articles that sum up what the latest trials in diabetes management show.
Los Angeles Times
ABC science

basically the trials are some what conflicting. so guess we need more studies. and the ACCORD and ADVANCE study are in the latest New England Journal of Medicine.

on a side note: 1 mth =)

5th June 2008

2008-06-05T20:40:00.002+10:00

the day i remember how i am not to squander what god and my parents have given me, not to disappoint the people i love.

not to waste my time and not to be just mediocre when i actually can be so much better.

and i remember this thanks to you =)

the best and worst weekend in a long time

2008-05-27T20:51:00.002+10:00

we sometimes forget weekends are 2 days. and where there is life there is balance, and therefore both good and bad. though u can argue that bad and good are subjective and the nature of the events or objects themselves are neither good or bad.

so here is my subjective view of my weekend lol.

havent posted on sunday as i have been disabled. physically and technologically. have been down with a cold, and becky thinks its the flu. since Saturday night. and had fever and chills Monday night. felling better now though i still sound terribly nasal and i wonder if i can make it for MCR on thurs. should be fine =) slept a total of 16 hours since last night. no wonder i feel good.

my laptop's hard disk died on sunday. i backed up most of my stuff dun worry. but i had to finish my assignment by monday so i had to borrow's Andrew's desktop to do it =) THANK ANDREW! and so monday went to Becky's and got to MSY to get cheap hdd and ram. was about $90 for a 250 GB hdd and $52 for a 2GB RAM. now i feel so powerful lol. and because of my disablements, i havent been up to scratch in terms of work and have been doing my tutorial tasks last minute, feeling bad about that.

and the good part: had lunch at the point with Becky, food was awesome in terms of entre and deserts. if u want details go see Becky's blog. then spent the rest of the day together =)

MCR's on thurs! so i better brush up my skills before then.

Gym

2008-05-19T21:13:00.002+10:00

i need to gym more. gymed today. and think i pushed myself a bit hard. felt a bit fatigued and nauseous. man i am glad i didnt go for the 8 km run. maybe i just havent been running enough. and i neeed that echo for my heart. before i am willing to run more.

i neeeeeed to study!!!! i will study =) thanks to someone

=)

2008-05-10T11:00:00.000+10:00

Finally the wait is over.
tired that's what i am from being happy =)

Relax

2008-05-05T17:33:00.002+10:00

so now i'm in musculoskeletal rotation. much more slack than the head and neck rotation. but i am down with a bad sore throat, the Strep throat again. if not i prob would still be in the wards interviewing patients now.

on plastics at the moment. should be fun when i get into theatre. then there will be trauma, haha yummy ;p

well i sorta figured what i have to do to study. repetition. and prob give up working in the holidays to catch up. i'll see how it goes.

Glad there is someone out there pushing me hard to study =) and i almost forget the people i owe to where i am. my patients are awaiting for me to study lol.

Studying mechanisms

2008-04-27T18:20:00.003+10:00

i need to take some time off my busy schedule to think about how i study. it's getting a bit too much for me to take. i am sooo behind and i am not studying efficiently if at all.

lack of concentration, fixing studying around my life rather than my life around studying.
the lack of repetition to fix stuff in my head: therefore leading to my lack of memory power.
it will be a waste of my pattern recognition skills and my comprehension power if i carry on decaying like this. i'll just end up like a piece of carrot, rotting, shrivelling up gradually. till the day i kill too many people and i will get chopped off.

at least now i can study for someone =)

and good luck to dear Poon Shi Hui who is gg to Edinburgh for electives. dun save too many lives there, try to have some fun while u are there.

Gadgets!

2008-04-23T22:55:00.003+10:00

just when i thought external keyboards couldnt get any better:

and just when i thought there maybe hope for the increased incidence of obesity and diabetes in the world:

my gawd. wat has the world come to.

and congrats to the girl who has a new car =)

Nobel prize

2008-04-21T18:13:00.002+10:00

is it too far a goal to get a nobel prize? i think not. we are all smart enough to do something good with our minds, if only we work hard at it, and stay humble, and not get the evilness of the people out there get to you, we should be able to reach there. where ever there maybe.

i have told many people this: when we are young it's easy to know what is the best you can do. to get 100 marks for an exam, to pass an interview, you know what is the highest possible achievement you can have. But when it comes to post graduate, or especially as a doctor in the future. what is the best you can offer in life? to save as many people as you can one at a time? to be a surgeon general? to go to 3rd world countries to help the unfortunate there? or research a new cure or new pathogenesis of a disease? or to earn as much money as you can? or to juggle either of these and have a nice normal family?

the highest mark is blurred, and i wonder what i will do. all i noe is i want a family life at this moment.

My first suturing victim

2008-04-09T21:47:00.002+10:00

My first suturing victim
Originally uploaded by kerfern

another to add on to the list of Signs and Symptoms that you are a medical student:

you suture your dinner. lol this is my kitchen counter and my chopping board. 'lacerated' my chicken with my GLOBAL knife lol. poor chick: forgot to put Local anaesthesia before suturing.

i think i should use suturing more usefully: suture a chicken up after i stuff it with stuffings.

had a suturing tutor by a 5th year student who literally has sutured thousands of patients! man i'm jealous.

My world

2008-04-08T18:19:00.003+10:00

My world spins around an axis,
and axis called Yew

without Yew, my world stops,
without Yew, my emotions crumble,
without Yew, i cant stand up straight as i used to.

Only Yew can hold my weight, the weight of my contents, my feelings, my thoughts.
With every dawning day, the bond between the axis and the world gets closer.

but when the bond is suddenly lost, the world spins out of control, the world falls;
it falls into a deep endless space.
The world realises he doesnt know which direction to fall to, for the only guidance he had was the axis.
up, down, left, or right?

down he went. and down and down till the feeling was so low. it was terrible.
it was terrible.
the world needs the axis.
My world needs Yew

i need to work harder

2008-04-06T21:20:00.005+10:00

My mouse pad and easter egg from Ling and Daryl!
Originally uploaded by kerfern

been sleeping a lot lately. like average 9 to 10 hours. so you can think how much studying i have done if my days are usually 8 to 5ish.

got a great boost of momentum thanks to you and am studying real hard at this moment. i realise i have loads of catching up to do when looking at how consistent people are. and neuro got sooooo much to read lol.

and i havent even finish evaluating the Prof's examination dvd. love him to bits, so brilliant that he was barred from being an examiner somewhere as his standard of neurological examination was so high he failed too many ;p

i just went on my first ever Studio shoot organised by the monash photography club. have some pics, have a look. loved it. we shot so much that we blew a light. lol. funny for me but not for the club. there was this hot babe that was in a suggestive post and the floor of like 6-7 photographers cap shooting an triggering the studio flash continuously till it blew. haha. tt's how desperate guys are. or rather how sad ;p

and this is picture is the mouse pad and the easter egg that Ling and Daryl bought for me =) i heart u guys =)

Fever!

2008-03-30T18:13:00.002+11:00

mm been feeling wierd with a sore throat. seems typical of a strep throat i usually get if i get a sore throat which is really rare. close to but not yet feverish. sigh.

easter break for this week went pass quick. and i have done well let's just put it as a bit more than nothing. had a great time watchin Step up 2. according to my sources, the dancing is not as good as Step up 1, which i didnt watch.

photos are all up. so go have a look.

and i am ebaying a bit too much nowadays. eyeing a new wide angle lens.
SP AF17-50mm F/2.8 XR Di II LD Aspherical [IF]

with this i can rule the world ahahaha. that is if i pass med skool.

those blardy noobs at ebay better stop bidding for my lens. it's getting a bit too costly =(

time for me to go do my assignment. sigh

I carry your heart with me

2008-03-27T19:04:00.005+11:00

has been a slow easter. not out and about, not studying, just playing Worms Armageddon.

but well at lat got my photoshop C3 to work. and finished editing my photos. so go have a look. Went Wilson's Prom to see the Squeaky beach with Jas, Terrence, Vivek. It was quite cool because of the high quartz content. Every step u take squeaks =)

Time now to get down to work. Bought a new flash diffuser. but a cheaper version lol. made in China ;p and well hoping i can get a new wide angle F/2.8 lens. it's on ebay for AUD$50 at the moment. hope those 5 people stop bidding hahaha, 3 more days to go ;p

And suddenly Winter is slipping through the door. Freezing these days. A poem that's so lovely. recommended by a friend =)

I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

Sweet and simple =)

Heavy Hearted

2008-03-19T22:16:00.002+11:00

i wonder what is worse, a heavy heart or a myocardial infarct. they are both crushing, but i have never felt a heart attack before.

i feel inadequate. there is so little i noe about neurology, than to my lack of studying of neuroanat for the past 2 years. and i am sad that i am starting to question my desire for surgery. it just doesnt turn me on as much as Gen med rotation. maybe i'll end up a renal or endocrine physician. or just be like my idol who knows everything about everything, and still so nice and willing to teach.

so i am heavey hearted, because of
1. waiting
2. confused about what i want to do in the future
3. inadequacy of my understanding neuroanat
4. neurosurgery which is supposedly one of the most exciting surgeries is not making my eye twinkle in delight
5. i have no extra curricular activities.

maybe i should get in contact with the photography club. i am soooo tired. and i havent studied all week. and it doesnt help that i am insatiable when it comes to perfection, and i am no where near that.

oh boy, head and neck next.

2008-03-16T22:27:00.003+11:00

so i finished 5 weeks of rotation at Gen Med. where basically complicated patients are sent. I have had soooooo much fun. seeing all the interesting cases whether rare or common. and it's interesting to noe patients so well they noe u by name. and smile when they just see u, and actually flexing their left hand when u hit their right biceps tendon just for fun. lol

medicine i learn is actually not about completeness, but about a directed approach to decipher the pattern of signs and symptoms.

i am seriously starting to doubt whether i should be a surgeon.
1. i actually like interacting with patients and also probably the love i have to give patients will not be as much as when i do surgery.
2. i like tackling the interesting puzzles of curious patients like Fever of Unknown Origin.
3. i met a renal consultant and another Urologist i think. both of which inspire me to be like them. i want to beat the renal consultant by getting my foot in to the level of a consultant in 7 years after i graduate. wahaha

many things have been on my mind. actually only 1 thing. but it's been running around my mind, almost hard to catch and stop it. i wonder how long the wait has to be. well i do hope good things come to people who wait =)

up and coming: head and neck
and i got 1 week of neurosurgery. and i have yet to read anything about the head. lol

dead tired

2008-03-10T10:10:00.002+11:00

it's time for me to change how i prioritise.

work has been stacking up a lot. and i have been doing useless stuff. like processing photos.

had a great party last night at my place. for Ling, my housemate. Daryl and I surprised her with 40 odd people stuck in our apartment. Thanx to those who turned up and those who helped out, especially: Bamdrew ;p, Emily and people who turned up though they had something on. thanx everyone for making it a great party

made the 2nd chocolate cake in my life. this one tasted so GOOD! and i will post the recipe up soon. cant remember the original location. it was from a food blog. probably the first and last cake recipe i encounter that uses boiling water. lol

photos will have to wait for now. i got too much work at hand. "it's labour day today. we should be labouring," said Becky.

meanwhile many other photos are up. my shots in Singapore, the first few mths in melb this year and a whole lot of parties.

missing and still yet to process are Ming Jian's and Ling's smashing parties =)

"peace out"

women...

2008-03-06T21:22:00.002+11:00

i like the hazardous material datasheet;p

Tormented

2008-03-05T18:55:00.003+11:00

Tormented as can be. he lives his life. always distracted. even in sleep.
he ponders his life. how he got here, and where is he to go from here.

his heart beats. he feels his heart beat.

he stones. though he never did. what has happened to him?

food has taste? the world passes by as he walks through it, almost having a car in his head.
cooking? 'i'd rather try to sleep, i'm tired, really tired,' he says. who the hell enjoys cooking?

at last there was light =)

2008-03-03T19:52:00.003+11:00

ah, internet has made it's way into my home. at last it is complete. wahahaha

LOADS of photos to edit and upload, no time now though, still trying to adjust to 3rd year.

i realise that hospitals are so much fun, and patients are fun to work with especially when they are delirious.

really got to go. promise to update as i used to. every Sunday. =)

Later...

2008-02-01T12:47:00.000+11:00

lately, it's been busy. i'll prob post more stuff when i settle my housing or my life has stabalised.

issues to talk about:

mind games.
friendships and love

peace out

i'm in melb

2008-01-22T23:57:00.000+11:00

back in melb. recloned my lappy (Dorothy) and staying at Bambie's place for the moment, till Andrew and Ling can find a place with me.

This time i feel incredibly much more sad than the previous times i left singapore. i wonder why. ;p

Love and lust

2008-01-11T16:48:00.000+11:00

so today i had a sudden realisation. we always ponder about the differences of love and lust. then i found a situation which distinguishes both quite clearly.

when say the object of affection/lust, is sick or unhealthy. in a situation of lust, you will only want to meet him/her after he/she has recovered for more sex. but in a situation of love, you would want to spend more time with him/her to help him/her recover faster, to help while they cant move, to get that cup of water when they are thirsty.

anyone has any comments?

<2 weeks till i return to Melbourne

2008-01-06T13:50:00.000+11:00

first and foremost, photos are up =) one of the better batches of photos i have so far.

i miss Singapore already, although i havent left here yet. so many things to do. think i have a illness: to make myself exceptionally over-busy. I wonder how am i going to retire next time.

quite a few things i have thought about. was with dad and his good old friend and ex colleague. they are the ones that have seen much of our society and have loads of comments on what's good and bad, therefore in my opinion they are the ones who are in the best position to suggest what changes can be made to further improve society. however it seems like naturally, they are the ones that have let go of wanting to change society after facing so much inertia from the public sector towards suggestions. So, sadly, the people who know what needs to be changed in society are the ones who will not give suggestions.

the new mean testing system which the health ministry just announced was also what they were talking about just before it was announced. if they had their views seen, different policies like mean testing would have come out so much earlier.

i have been scrapbooking, and spent a bomb at madewithlove, with the girls there staring at me, why a guy would be so interested in scrapping... met many people this week, and i am still waiting for someone to tell me when we are meeting ;pp

housing is a tad of a worry to me, but i am confident we can find a nice and comfy one, with my 大哥 and 小妹 i.e. Andrew and Ling lol. so i'm the middle child, someone better give me some attention.

results wise, seems like the singaporeans did well for our exams, so did i. i didnt score fantastic in my opinion, but well i need to work much harder than tt.

hoping to sell my camera soon the older one tt is.

global recession up ahead . . . well dad has been saying this for at least a year, and well the US is going down, and the world will crumble with it, if they did not diversify their investments and reserves and whatevernots. so buy time soon, and soon maybe mid or end 2008.

back from Perth

2007-12-27T01:41:00.000+11:00

back from perth yesterday. loads of fantastic photos. will be up soon. after i'm back from malacca

leaving for melacca on 28-30 Dec. yes melacca again lol.

spoilt my mother board when i was checking wat RAM to buy. so getting new CPU, RAM, and mother board =( and SATA hard disk. all these to make sure i can come up with a better video for Rachel.

had tarama today. lovely stuff. a bit too expensive for me, but it sure was palatable and desirable.

Perth here i come

2007-12-20T06:12:00.000+11:00

so the past few days have been me busy going out, almost neglecting my parents. sad =(

met some of my JC classmates. Eleanor, Yiting, Pema, Charis, Elaine. where are the guys?!
photos up after i come back from Perth

met up with som PA Crewies. Yong Ji who just back for the christmas period from illinois, Kang Xun who seems to be doing well, and Lilian who is going over to meet Weihong soon; meanwhile struggling to complete her FYP.

had deserts at Miss Ho's house with Kel, Becky =), Zhen, Sheryl, Steph, Eelin. played pictionary for the first time in many many many years.

returned the terrapins back to my neighbour. miss them already =(

lost my ATM card. no idea where but cancelled it.

and spent so much time and effort on a wedding video. it's being transcoded by my desktop now, it's been 6 hours and it still hasnt finish burning the first piece. i am sooo sorry Rachel. the banes of modern technology.

Going to perth on Thurs morning 0930hrs. hope i have enough memory cards to shoot, and that the farm stay will be cool =) the weather will be not thought. the day i am returning back to sg is forecasted to be 38 deg. time to find the sunglasses (mine just broke) and slab on the sun screen.

wedding!

2007-12-17T03:54:00.000+11:00

so i shot my first wedding reception. mm no, not photo but video, so i got nothing to show case to the world. Sigh

and i wouldnt say it was good. but it's decent. think photography is still my kinda thing.

the brides' dad shoots videos, and he thinks still shots are more difficult than video. i still think still shots are easier. we compose and snap. only thing is the need to capture the moment. video u hae the luxury of time. but i think it is difficult as lighting is more difficult to control, and the editing is much more complex than just photoshopping.

and well. video takes up much more space and time to work with lol. good luck to myself to finish uploading the video to my desktop and attempting to edit it a bit, short timeline for me to finish the edit, but they didnt want any edit in the first place.

i just want to edit =) LOL

going Perth from 20-25 Dec. mm a place not on my long list of locations to visit. but well, it's time spent with mum, her friends and their kids. family time is good time. no matter what.

bacterium

2007-12-08T23:50:00.000+11:00

as a medical student i keep remembering which bacterium i should kill, and sometimes forget those that are life giving to us like those in the gut.

then there are those Shewanella that secrete nanotubes ;p LOL but seriously groundbreaking discovery.

plenty of photos are up 308 photos in the last 2 days to be exact. and more to come! stay tuned =)

=)

2007-12-07T04:26:00.000+11:00

it was the most intellectuall ystimulating chat and one that made me thin more than i had since VIA and i LOVED it =) i totally loved it =)

Minks =)

a prison a torment

2007-12-03T01:37:00.000+11:00

a prison a tormenting cell, i built for myself
a lie of feelings and a hurt so deep
i teared that i hurt you i teared at my guilt, at my conscience, at the fact i did not obey my conscience.
i never lied. but when i did. it was huge, it was bad, it is bad.

so now i am imprisoned by this guilt of not a thing i have done but things i have done.
all against my conscience. all terrible and all tearing me apart.
slumber is but a temporary relief of this torture. if i manage to drift in.

only time can tell, only this space time continuum can tell whether i deserve another chance.
another chance. if only i can have it.
i pray.

i am off to Melacca

2007-11-24T09:45:00.000+11:00

just a quick update, i am gg to Melacca from 24-26 Nov.

apparently my mum got a 20% off for hotels or something, so we are gg there to see my dad's cousin. She just got a new house. and we are there to have a look. It's daddy's birthday today.

HAPPY Birthday!!!

was browsing through my mum's lenses for her film SLR. and found a 28mm F/2.8 Tonika. Blardy old. but blardy good!!!! it is manual focus though and also i have to do my own exposure assessment, no metering. Love shooting with it because it makes me think a lot before i shoot. It's a prime lens i suppose, no change of zoom, mum calls it standard lens, dad calls it fixed lens. It's interesting to see them both show me their lenses. Some are older than me 0.o

Take care and have fun.

Good luck to those having exams. Like MR Edwin Yang and mm other people in NUS

some photos are up on my flickr. but mm think forgot to rotate some. iritating. as photoshop and adobe bridge auto rotates the photos and so i forget to rotate them as i think they are rotated... u catch my drift.

back in singapore. home sweet home

2007-11-22T03:06:00.000+11:00

yay, back home at last. those who want to date me, go out with me, msg me. or call. or leave a tag a comment.
lol

just showered after getting home. sooo tired. photos are still in the midst of processing.

my 50mm F/1.8 lens came =) sooooooo happy. have a few great shots already.

ta.

fatigued

2007-11-19T16:35:00.000+11:00

good thing didnt have to cycle today. if not i would have been mummified. But still i am tired.

But the company was good. and It was all out, we were so glad, it is a great day today.

photos are still in post processing, will upload them when i am done with them. now only have 2 uploaded.

places i went so far and pictures i took...

post exams. timsum and random shots after exams
strawberry farm and Brighton beach wif my housemate as the model!
timsum with bambie and ling and the others
Dinner with the singaporean meddies at Daryl's place
Day out with Joanna who came from Brisbane, great shjots from St. Kilda's beach, best sunset ever.

still waiting for my 50mm F/1.8 to arrive. taking soooo long.
realised i should have gotten a wide angle lens rather than a 50mm prime =(

and i learnt how to take portraits at beach after experimenting so much with Jo.

yay.

Deviant art

2007-11-13T21:47:00.000+11:00

i realise deviantart is a fantastic place for artists to meet, to learn.

i have a few people to thank that got me here in photography, i wont say very very far yet, but well it is far.

Ming Jian for boosting my knowledge of photography with the book he bought for me on my 21st birthday. and from there i started exploring different techniques
Xin Yi for constantly challenging the boundaries of composition. This has made me think how i can better compose EVERY photo i take.
Becky for buying a book for advanced techniques that will last me a life time. it's like giving gatorade to me while i am in a marthon. rejuvenation.
Robby for his advie and guidance
Ezra for making me realise that it is important to know the boons and banes of your camera and how to exploit them.
anyone else who has inspired me whatsoever or allow me to use them as a model lol.

i was trying to find portraits or people shots so that i can emulate one for a self portrait. and i encountered problems:

there are almost no male popular shots
if there are, they are usually nude or sexy.
and so my search for good and unindecent shots for males continues. after exams.

and now my collection is almost complete

nikon d80
tamron 70-300mm F/4-5.6 LD macro 1:2
tamron 28-80 mm F/3.5-5.6
Lowepro Nova1 camera bag
52, 58, 62 mm filters for my lenses (including polarisers for 52 and 58mm)
the 50mm F/1.8 prime lens is on it's way from Hong Kong. hope it comes soon so i can find someone to shoot with it.
i am just short of a wide angle lens. i was thinking maybe i will get it when i earn some money from either shooting or from some other source of income.

good luck to everyone for tmr's last paper. i think i need all the luck i can get. i am scared seriously.

Tech support, Melanie's 21st!

2007-11-05T00:33:00.000+11:00

So tonight, i was tech support for Lesley again lol, her new tenant couldnt connect to the internet and she fetched me over to see and solved it.

Tmr gg to collect my camera from the post office, maybe after i go library i suppose.

Melanie's 21st was SMASHING. First cake fight in 2 years at a bdae. Started by none other than Daryl Da Man. he Da Man. have a look at the photos.

Studying has beeeeeen terrrrible. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh

Good luck. GG. lol not so fast, i will survive ;p

Why tomorrow will be a better day.

2007-10-29T23:29:00.000+11:00

First it has been a terrible day, learnt a whole lot about studio lighting for photography, nothing about medicine. and i mean nothing. Furthermore, i am falling sick, having the sniffles and we usually know where this proceeds: sniffles > sinusitis > Cough > URTI > bronchitis > antibiotics > resolution.

So deriving from first principle that today = terrible day, tomorrow cannot be as bad or worse, so it will be a better day than today.

Also on a side note, we are going to have a better future with the following inventions:

terabyte thumbdrive in 3 years: that 1024 gigabytes for those who do not know, it is more energy efficient, has more space

Focus fusion: not cold fusion, not conventional nuclear fusion, not nuclear fission. new energy in the making. If this works, we probably may end up with an ice age at last.

For those who do not know, the cyclical ice age has been delayed for very very long due to our industrious production of gases from our farts in our industries.

Daylight savings has started

2007-10-28T11:18:00.001+11:00

Yes 3 hours ahead of Singapore again. 1 hour lost. not that i studied in that hour lol.

in library now.

Miss you.

2007-10-25T11:09:00.000+10:00

yes i do miss u.

not sad, but just a yearning. you probably dunno who you are, the world can try to guess but no one knows =)

a secret locked away from the rest of the world.

i remember the joy u bring, the fact i just want to smile when i want to see you, remember the way we looked at each other.

i miss you.

you think it is you, but then you think not, you'll never know if it is you.