Scrambeled eggs

I chanced upon a video which Gordon Ramsey demonstrates how to make the perfect scrambled eggs, without waking the missus ;p

i tried it without the butter and the cream, with portobello mushrooms and normal big tomatoes sliced half, with bread that's really toasted on the verge of burnt.

and the result was a very happy loving couple having happy breakfast. =)

so go try it this weekend =)

And i am down with a cold

i reckon i just had a bit of fever just now. but my darling has been taking great care of me. forcing bed rest on me if not she was gg to make me bed ridden.

heating up meals, giving me meds, while i wonder what's day and night. and i remember dad said, 'it's always nice to have someone to give u a hand when you are down, that maybe the only reason to share your life with.' well there's no doubt about nicce having someone around, but well there are many other reasons too, to have a companion in life =)

today's got a cold night, and my nose is blocked again. hope the weather holds up well tomorrow, for i am to see flying planes, that i hope will not be grounded tomorrow, for they do not fly in strong winds as well not only in heavy rain.

Thank you darling =)

Why men cheat?

i am not an expert nor a well read person on this subject, but this are just my thoughts and opinion
This may explain why cheating happens, but this doesnt mean that i think it's right. It is wrong, wrong, wrong, period.
well the things i have to say are from my perspectives of social norms, and of course you are entitled to have differing concepts of what is normal. leave a comment =)

what is cheating? traditionally: it's having sexual relations with people other than your partner. it has been extended to wider ground especially in asian conservative culture to just doing anything that seems to express your liking for another person through physical and emotional means.

So why?
males of all creatures that run around are born to instinctively spread his seed to get as many offsprings as possible for procreation, while females were born to stick to one companion and take care of the offspring. this is of course an overgeneralisation, there are birds that have only 1 partner ever and do not ever find other partners when their female partner dies like the love birds.
A friend did remind me, after all we are humans not animals, so we should have some control over such unscrupulous behaviour, and be able to fight such instinct of promiscuity, and i agree!
My darling reminds me that females release one egg once a month while guys release 70 million sperm each time they ejaculate. So much for monogamy.

another reason why is that guys say that they get bored of their current relationship and the thrill of chasing another girl makes his life more intersting. well there is no denying that the chase can be more elaborate and fulfilling than the relationship itself. However, there is a commitment to make in relationships and going around chasing other skirts should not be for those who intend to keep their partners. ;p

then there is seduction, if the root of the problem is not with the guy, it has to be the vixen aint it? constant exposure to seduction and also lack of negative feelings towards the vixen will only lead to trouble in a short time, (like a stone of benevolence being attrited slowly) unless he is willing to stick to his current partner no matter what. Well usually vixens are more attractive, though they offer less stability and security, but well guys are always a bit thick headed when it comes to choosing sometimes.

then there are those that slowly and gradually inch closer to liking. it's a friend that you know, then you realise you got many things in common, then without a clear transition the intense liking happens, and you get shocked when you suddenly realise you start wanting to use the L word. The scariest reason in my opinion, it creeps on you slowly.

Well and to end this post. for those who have cheated and those who intend to cheat, think twice about how much you love your so called other half, because if you loved her enough, you wouldnt have cheated, and it is not really worth wasting time if there has been no love.

the best and worst weekend in a long time

we sometimes forget weekends are 2 days. and where there is life there is balance, and therefore both good and bad. though u can argue that bad and good are subjective and the nature of the events or objects themselves are neither good or bad.

so here is my subjective view of my weekend lol.

havent posted on sunday as i have been disabled. physically and technologically. have been down with a cold, and becky thinks its the flu. since Saturday night. and had fever and chills Monday night. felling better now though i still sound terribly nasal and i wonder if i can make it for MCR on thurs. should be fine =) slept a total of 16 hours since last night. no wonder i feel good.

my laptop's hard disk died on sunday. i backed up most of my stuff dun worry. but i had to finish my assignment by monday so i had to borrow's Andrew's desktop to do it =) THANK ANDREW! and so monday went to Becky's and got to MSY to get cheap hdd and ram. was about $90 for a 250 GB hdd and $52 for a 2GB RAM. now i feel so powerful lol. and because of my disablements, i havent been up to scratch in terms of work and have been doing my tutorial tasks last minute, feeling bad about that.

and the good part: had lunch at the point with Becky, food was awesome in terms of entre and deserts. if u want details go see Becky's blog. then spent the rest of the day together =)

MCR's on thurs! so i better brush up my skills before then.

=)

Finally the wait is over.
tired that's what i am from being happy =)

My world

My world spins around an axis,
and axis called Yew

without Yew, my world stops,
without Yew, my emotions crumble,
without Yew, i cant stand up straight as i used to.

Only Yew can hold my weight, the weight of my contents, my feelings, my thoughts.
With every dawning day, the bond between the axis and the world gets closer.

but when the bond is suddenly lost, the world spins out of control, the world falls;
it falls into a deep endless space.
The world realises he doesnt know which direction to fall to, for the only guidance he had was the axis.
up, down, left, or right?

down he went. and down and down till the feeling was so low. it was terrible.
it was terrible.
the world needs the axis.
My world needs Yew

I carry your heart with me

has been a slow easter. not out and about, not studying, just playing Worms Armageddon.

but well at lat got my photoshop C3 to work. and finished editing my photos. so go have a look. Went Wilson's Prom to see the Squeaky beach with Jas, Terrence, Vivek. It was quite cool because of the high quartz content. Every step u take squeaks =)

Time now to get down to work. Bought a new flash diffuser. but a cheaper version lol. made in China ;p and well hoping i can get a new wide angle F/2.8 lens. it's on ebay for AUD$50 at the moment. hope those 5 people stop bidding hahaha, 3 more days to go ;p

And suddenly Winter is slipping through the door. Freezing these days. A poem that's so lovely. recommended by a friend =)

I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

Sweet and simple =)

Love and lust

so today i had a sudden realisation. we always ponder about the differences of love and lust. then i found a situation which distinguishes both quite clearly.

when say the object of affection/lust, is sick or unhealthy. in a situation of lust, you will only want to meet him/her after he/she has recovered for more sex. but in a situation of love, you would want to spend more time with him/her to help him/her recover faster, to help while they cant move, to get that cup of water when they are thirsty.

anyone has any comments?

untitled but not unloved

i thought i was procrastinating, then i saw this site. and it is perfect.

if you ever forget what love is, have a look, have a listen. Leigh's photography

the pictures she took, are what photography should be, communicating emotions, communicating love. Communicating...

And with this i remember my path down the long road is not all terrible and unloving.

photography, is but a stream of moments u wish to see that slip pass u in an instant.

Why do stars fall down from the sky everytime you walk by

So a surprise failed, but well at least it sorta made me laugh after haha. There is no cloud in your sky.

many have asked me about my msn nick, why "unconditional love"? some thought i had love in my life. =) well i wished it were so, but it is actually after the play tha Xin Yi directed: I Hope You Dance, at OCF overseas christian fellowship, Pastor Steven mentioned about the unconditional love God has for us. No i am not christian yet lol. Xinyi ivited many of us to go lah. But the unconditional love hit me, again. I forgot when i first understood what unconditional love was. As he said, a love that you cannot earn and cannot take away, as it is unconditional.

Many feel that this love is never seen for we humans have such strong ego and selfishness. But the epitome of examples of unconditional love in our daily lives is Motherly Love. It is the love that is unconditional. Although the mother barely knows the child that was just born, she gives her whole heart to it, willing to give her life for the child, willing to give it anything, and most importantly not asking for anything in return.

The Love that we see frequently is the conditional one, where you love your bf, gf hoping for something in return, a hug, a gift, sex, whatever. But of course there are times that there are doses of self sacrificing love where u are willing to give your all to him or her, just to make her happy.

Unconditional love is indeed beautiful. And it is a strong motivator for me as i forget how much love there is in the world, and how much that there is still lacking. Love is always present but never enough. For the ugly world devours every bit of love there is. So i am inspired to give the world more love, more life, more happiness. For we are all here for a reason.

Forget My Heart for Yours is still bleeding, more than mine and i am here to make it whole again.

Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!

So what do u do, what do you feel, when u see a bouquet of champagne tulips, so beautiful, u want to buy it for a girl, but you realise you have no one to give to.

what do you do when you suddenly realise the night was cold and lonely, and you want to share your warmth with someone and wonder who, when there is no one there for you to.


And the pillows smell of emptiness while you hope to have a familiar fragrance lingering, but u never smelt that fragrance yet. you wonder when will u first see her, when will u first smell her, sense her.

why do you hide your feelings in the masquerade? Is it so hard to let the past be and to let love in?
Hide your heart, so love will never find you.
And the smile you carry everyday, is sad, as i am too.

Any where you go let me go too.
Love me - that's all i ask of you.

p.s. no i am not in love, just that i have an inundation of heartache when hearing my favourite track from Phantom of The Opera: That's All I Ask Of You

So a rollercoaster I say.

Ups and downs. I counsel and lend a listening ear to many, and I never saw this day come that I needed someone to listen, though I didn't really have that much to say. I had a surge of depression, probably repressed feelings of rejection, probably about not being able to see my friends here and in sg, about just how frustrating it is for close friends I have that are struggling with long distance relationships, and many other factors I choose to not disclose or just cant remember.

But a light shone on me, friends I have, friends I cherish, that are there sticking their ear to my heart, listening for any missed beats or absence of life. So concerned about me, not moving even when I shove u away. An amazing friend indeed. And another, always willing to sacrifice time for me, after I thought u the importance of relationships in life and not just the headless pursuit for perfection in academia.

Well I am healed, with a smile almost constantly on my face. Not that I have no problems, but I have friends that care.

Other parts of my life:

Happy birthday to John Lee Wei Chern. Good buddy, fellow marist. Fellow meddie, but sadly miles away in the tropics. Hope u got the card. If not I will screw the mailman.

Got my P's for my driving in Australia, so means that I can drive legally, without supervision, but it does not really matter since I dun have a car and I dun intend to get one soon. At least not till next year or year 4. At last paying AUD$1000 has paid off lol.

Watched Phantom of the opera. Love the conductress. She was absolutely hawt and highly professional! If I had a rose I would give it to her lol. Watched it with Amy and her cousin and cousin's bf too bad we couldn't get tickets for more people. Met Ling and the year 1s and hitched a ride back with Ling. She stays nearer to me anyways.

I'll upload photos for MCF on my Flickr soon. No more bandwidth at home, overshot the quota again. Think it is only a bit faster than a 56kbps now. tata

And so it is...

So it was depressing for a while, at least i am now uplifted with the answer. Thanx to u :) i noe wat to do now. 2 in a week, if i were u i tink i would have been suicidal.

Multiple injuries from badminton, but they are all healed by now. Melissa says "Becky laugh at ur badminton skills? later i train u, u trash her" haha see if she actually bothers to train me.

Missed netball due to the twisted ankle from badminton, really wanted to go, but yar i was injured.

Have not read anatomy at all... so i am clueless at Anat tutes, well i realise i learn sooo much in tute as opposed to when i read up, i feel like tutes are a waste of time ;p

Spent the weekend fiddling with photoshop, just to make posters, A3 size 200gsm glossy relatively cheap at Officeworks, about $4 or 5 and service charge about $4 i tink, but i printed 2 posters, total to $13.50 cant be bothered to count the service charge.

baked a cheesecake again tonight with Lesley and Melanie, THE housemate cooked dinner, i am one appreciative boy tonight. Cake got over fluffed up and cracked again :( sad, some more it's for someone's bdae. i felt so bad, forgot to use bainmarie, so the side of the cake got browned badly. Sigh. well i guess there will be another better time.

Got to be the official photographer of Multi Cultural Festival organised by Monash Uni International Students Services MUISS. Thanks to Christie!!!!! i luv u for giving me the chance to be. lol. erm lurve u in a friendly way hor.

Photos will be up soon. after the event ends this thurs.

need to iron shirt for CPP later in the day. ta ta. and u people who read. post some comments or tag lei. i am so bored.

Appreciated

Nice for Jocelyn to appreciate what i sent back for her. Haha nice to catch up too. appreciation a really nice feeling thingy to receive. but yet very low cost to give.

Free hugs

And have a look at my photos of them at city where i was with Karin. We joined in and got our fair share of hugs too. Too bad we were pressed for time, if not we would have stayed the whole night there.

Always nice to have a person to share everything with

Always nice to have a person to share everything with
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

Well, 2 weeks left to exams, and a week after that to OSCEs, and about a week after, going back home. Yipee! for the last, but glum for the rest.

Well studying has been okays. Okay: a word used to describe the sense that nothing extraordinary has happened, and is well... somewhat normal. This is subjected to people's interpretation. I think i lost myself explaining somewhere.. Have gotten down to studying, but still not as much as i hope for. Wasted the whole of Saturday watching Gundam Seed. haha. 500 GB hard disk, the pinacle of distraction.

Well some say it's just about time to start. FOr those who havent, yes you should. People like Ling, please get a hold of urself, and study. Everything's a facade sometimes, it's alomst impossible to peer into everyones lives. Even if they are close friends.

Always nice... Yes someone to share your ups and downs, it's a good thing or experience to have. And like Weichern's post said, , A Life Without Love is probably a sin. But well all i can say is if u want it, go get it. I probably still am not wanting it enough yet, to sacrifice. Haha, sure sounds selfish, and the irony is you will end up SHARING everything with your other.

What is love?

A question so many ask, and if u were paid a quadrillionth of a cent for every time some one thinks of it, you would probably still be a millionaire. But yet, it is a feeling, something so deep in the body feeling, so far from logic sometimes, that we cannot express it in words. For i personally cannot express what it is.

But here, i now portray love in a few lines of excert from 'About a Boy', starring Hugh Grant. For those who have not yet seen it, it's about how a 12 year old boy, Marcus, got to get close to Will (Hugh Grant), a 38 year old man, and they became friends. This part probably captures this quintessence of "What is Love?"

Marcus: What's the difference between a girl who's your friend and a girlfriend?

Will: Well, I don't know. Do you want to touch her?

Marcus: Is that so important?

Will: Yeah, you've heard about sex, right? It is kind of a big deal.

Marcus: I know. I'm not stupid.
I just can't believe there's nothing more to it.
I mean, like, I want to be with her more. I want to be with her all the time.
And I want to tell her things I don't even tell you or Mum.
And I don't want her to have another boyfriend.
If I could have all those things...
...I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.

Friends and then love.

Friends are nice things to have, chances to open up, chances to make us not so insular, chance to be lovers, chance to love not as lovers, chance to share, chance to actually take care of someone, chance to be there for someone else. My father said sometimes friends should just be viewed as tools to help you succeed. Well i would hate to do that to my friends, almost seem to make them inanimate, stepping stones, like investments. Why can't the world just value relationships more.

Then there is the perpetual problem of good friends that are of the opposite sex. There is supposedly an impossibility that they actually do not fall in love. At least, a girl told me that before. Well, here's what i think: we find it difficult to differentiate expression of love and friendship. After all, close friends love each other and will do anything for each other.

For opposite sex friends to get close, the actions usually meant for close friends get interpreted as actions of love. That is when confusion starts, clearly you like each other at least as friends. But what distinguishes the 2 is probably romance, but... it is so nice to just see a girl get amazed and surprised when you surprise her with something, even if she is a friend... Is that only just for the girl you love, or friends too. And maybe get accused of sending the wrong signals. I think I probably can't really diffferentiate the 2. Haha, so girls i know out there better becareful.

But I changed for someone. If someone inspires you to change, someone actually able to make you want to go against that immense inertia to change, do you love her? You taught me so much. I thank you. But you can only guess if it is you...

Love: just like what Ethan quoted, and also what was in "A Walk to Remember"(watched it last night, blardy tear jerker):
1 Corinthians 13:4 to 8a.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.

Like what Snow Patrol dictated in Chasing Cars, "those 3 words, are said too much, they're not enough"