Gifts

So i received a gift or 2 for no apparent rhyme or reason (no it's not my birthday yet). Which inspired me to write a post about it.

I can't remember a gift i last received from someone other than family. Sounds sad, but yeah i get by. (it's the lack of memory that is sad, not the lack of gifts)

So like i said to someone. There can be only a few reasons why a female friend will give u a gift, not an extraordinary one, but just something simple: the reasons are ranked from most likely to least likely.

• She knows your birthday is around the corner and gives you an early gift, but has not enough money to buy a proper gift, but still wants to show that she appreciated your friendship
• She just wants to see you smile. Cheer someone up everyday. Now that is a nice little girl.
• She actually feels philantrophic, probably inspired from the world's best selling book, or it just came from the heart," hello, this is your heart speaking, give something to someone today and maybe you will be pardoned for what you did yesterday."
• She has a list of things to do before she dies. And 1 of them is to give something to someone you hate to the guts
• She has too much stress from life, e.g. exams, and has decided to give some random friend a gift so that there is some time off life to get to converse with that random friend
• She is in a plot to keep you wondering what the hell is the reason she gave you something. And it will confuse him even more with a megawatt smile.
• She likes you and wants to express it in a form of a gift, but has no monies to buy you a princess cut ring from Lee Hwa Jewellery which is 6000 km away, though the ring probably costs more than the flight.
• Keep your friends close and enemies closer

Disclaimer: The above is a narration of the consequence of simple actions that hits a perceptive mind that incessantly speculates reasons behind actions, compounded by the need to be distracted during stressful times. The consequence is a string of thoughts that are totally illogical and loose linked, a pre-empt to possible thought disorders or paranoia. But i always mean what i say, just that what i say is interpreted differently between me and most people.

It is just so cool to play with people's minds.

Friends and then love.

Friends are nice things to have, chances to open up, chances to make us not so insular, chance to be lovers, chance to love not as lovers, chance to share, chance to actually take care of someone, chance to be there for someone else. My father said sometimes friends should just be viewed as tools to help you succeed. Well i would hate to do that to my friends, almost seem to make them inanimate, stepping stones, like investments. Why can't the world just value relationships more.

Then there is the perpetual problem of good friends that are of the opposite sex. There is supposedly an impossibility that they actually do not fall in love. At least, a girl told me that before. Well, here's what i think: we find it difficult to differentiate expression of love and friendship. After all, close friends love each other and will do anything for each other.

For opposite sex friends to get close, the actions usually meant for close friends get interpreted as actions of love. That is when confusion starts, clearly you like each other at least as friends. But what distinguishes the 2 is probably romance, but... it is so nice to just see a girl get amazed and surprised when you surprise her with something, even if she is a friend... Is that only just for the girl you love, or friends too. And maybe get accused of sending the wrong signals. I think I probably can't really diffferentiate the 2. Haha, so girls i know out there better becareful.

But I changed for someone. If someone inspires you to change, someone actually able to make you want to go against that immense inertia to change, do you love her? You taught me so much. I thank you. But you can only guess if it is you...

Love: just like what Ethan quoted, and also what was in "A Walk to Remember"(watched it last night, blardy tear jerker):
1 Corinthians 13:4 to 8a.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.

Like what Snow Patrol dictated in Chasing Cars, "those 3 words, are said too much, they're not enough"

Time stands for that moment

Sometimes we need a sudden stillness of time to let us think through, to let that 3 ton lorry crash through your mind to actually let the obvious surface. Like trapping in an elevator...

How I know the exams are nearby

How i know the exams are nearby:

1. I start to get more attached to my bed
2. I start getting more attached to the internet: KEEP OPENING internet explorer to see stuff i just saw bout 2 secs earlier
3. Distracted. Much more than usual, By the heart, by the mind, but my conscience is gagged and tied up in some closet
4. Time passes so fast that i can't name things i did today
5. Indulgence. in any pleasurable form of distraction: Super crunchy peanut butter, orisinal.com
6. physiologically: My ear tips start turning red, my sinuses start to get inflammed: hypersensitivity due to lowered immune system due to stress due to lack of studying for exam
7. start writing crap about the world and relationships

Here goes nothing:

It's interesting how human interaction or the lack thereof which causes a sense of isolation is determined by the relationships of people involved. E.g. odd person with 2 couples in a dining area. Next is positioning: You get more interaction if you are literally at the centre of the group, center of attraction.

How much you want to interact with people is determined by how insecure you are. Interaction creates relationships which you will deem essential for social stability and security. If you are totally secure and at peace, you do not need people, just silence alone is beautiful enough.

Flawful points of social interactions... I promise to study hard after this post and after i cook my pasta for dinner.

Edwin's Beloved Grandma passed on

Just caught wind that my good buddy Edwin Yang's Grandma passing away. My sincere condolences. Remember if you need anyone to talk to at least i am here. This goes out to you too Rachel. Take care of yourselves. Life has to go on.

The Druze

For those who do not know, most Muslims in Lebanon are not actually pure muslims but rather Druze. Mano from Monash Medicine whom i met at Cohuna told me so.

Cohuna> turn left turn right, the middle of no where, in the middle of the night

Rural: Cohuna> left, right, the middle of no where in the middle of the night
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

Missing in action for the past week as i was at a rural placement for my Med course. A week of excitement warrants a LONG post.

I went to Cohuna with 11 other people, of which Kelvin was the other Singaporean and there was one more guy, Mano, who was Lebanese. So... 9 girls to 3 guys, too bad the guys stayed separate from the girls...

We visited 1 hosptial in Kerang, which was a better equiped one than in Cohuna. It was frustrating to hear that the government only gave $600, 000 while the 2000 population came up with $1 million, for the rebuilding of the hospital.

There were no doctors that were constantly stationed in the hospitals due to the lack of rural doctors. When a patient is admitted, then the GPs were called from their private practices to the hospital. There were only visiting specialists that visited about once a week. So any thing serious, the patients have to go to Bendigo Hospital, a larger hospital or catch a helicopter to Melbourne Hospital.

The most interesting part of the trip was my 'home-based' care visit. Others go to explore the services by going to patients houses. But mine was to go to a nature reserve. Yes! i was shocked. There, Esther, a renowned Aboroginal artist, top 10 in Australia, was our guide to the reserve. Her grand niece, Raye Raye was the cutest girl i have ever seen. She taught us how to make foot prints of animals and a baby foot steps. What was disturbing was when she said the best cure for snake bites and poisoning is WHISKEY! Maybe we should have corrected her, she could have saved another life.

Then after, Megan, Rasha, Steph and I played with some kids from an Aborogines family over a BBQ. I learnt a little footy from a guy. Whom i later found out actually was a professional player. He must have been so frustrated everytime i kicked the ball, it went up or totally far away... The kids were extremely fun to play with, they were like less than 5 years. Some were like chasing the ball, accidentally kicking it and so goes the neverending chase.

It was only after they left, that the manager of the Northern District Community Health Service, told us that actually the kids all had some form of abuse or another. The twins were born heroin addicts as their mom was one. The others had family problems. They are in the 'Many Children' program, a support service for drug, alcohol abuse and family abuse.

It's amazing how much service they actually provided. I don't think i see any kind of this kind of service in Singapore. Last but not least, I had the company of 11 other great people. They were all damn fun to hang, though think frequently, Kelvin and I were like: we're a little old for this... lol

The trip ended with a great Dinner with John and the monash meddies at Grand Tofu. Woot! the Curry Yong Tau Hoo damn ZAI!

Happy Birthday Buddy!