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Thursday, December 27, 2007

back from Perth

back from perth yesterday. loads of fantastic photos. will be up soon. after i'm back from malacca

leaving for melacca on 28-30 Dec. yes melacca again lol.

spoilt my mother board when i was checking wat RAM to buy. so getting new CPU, RAM, and mother board =( and SATA hard disk. all these to make sure i can come up with a better video for Rachel.

had tarama today. lovely stuff. a bit too expensive for me, but it sure was palatable and desirable.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Perth here i come

so the past few days have been me busy going out, almost neglecting my parents. sad =(

met some of my JC classmates. Eleanor, Yiting, Pema, Charis, Elaine. where are the guys?!
photos up after i come back from Perth

met up with som PA Crewies. Yong Ji who just back for the christmas period from illinois, Kang Xun who seems to be doing well, and Lilian who is going over to meet Weihong soon; meanwhile struggling to complete her FYP.

had deserts at Miss Ho's house with Kel, Becky =), Zhen, Sheryl, Steph, Eelin. played pictionary for the first time in many many many years.

returned the terrapins back to my neighbour. miss them already =(

lost my ATM card. no idea where but cancelled it.

and spent so much time and effort on a wedding video. it's being transcoded by my desktop now, it's been 6 hours and it still hasnt finish burning the first piece. i am sooo sorry Rachel. the banes of modern technology.

Going to perth on Thurs morning 0930hrs. hope i have enough memory cards to shoot, and that the farm stay will be cool =) the weather will be not thought. the day i am returning back to sg is forecasted to be 38 deg. time to find the sunglasses (mine just broke) and slab on the sun screen.

Monday, December 17, 2007


so i shot my first wedding reception. mm no, not photo but video, so i got nothing to show case to the world. Sigh

and i wouldnt say it was good. but it's decent. think photography is still my kinda thing.

the brides' dad shoots videos, and he thinks still shots are more difficult than video. i still think still shots are easier. we compose and snap. only thing is the need to capture the moment. video u hae the luxury of time. but i think it is difficult as lighting is more difficult to control, and the editing is much more complex than just photoshopping.

and well. video takes up much more space and time to work with lol. good luck to myself to finish uploading the video to my desktop and attempting to edit it a bit, short timeline for me to finish the edit, but they didnt want any edit in the first place.

i just want to edit =) LOL

going Perth from 20-25 Dec. mm a place not on my long list of locations to visit. but well, it's time spent with mum, her friends and their kids. family time is good time. no matter what.

Saturday, December 08, 2007


as a medical student i keep remembering which bacterium i should kill, and sometimes forget those that are life giving to us like those in the gut.

then there are those Shewanella that secrete nanotubes ;p LOL but seriously groundbreaking discovery.

plenty of photos are up 308 photos in the last 2 days to be exact. and more to come! stay tuned =)

Friday, December 07, 2007


it was the most intellectuall ystimulating chat and one that made me thin more than i had since VIA and i LOVED it =) i totally loved it =)

Minks =)

Monday, December 03, 2007

a prison a torment

a prison a tormenting cell, i built for myself
a lie of feelings and a hurt so deep
i teared that i hurt you i teared at my guilt, at my conscience, at the fact i did not obey my conscience.
i never lied. but when i did. it was huge, it was bad, it is bad.

so now i am imprisoned by this guilt of not a thing i have done but things i have done.
all against my conscience. all terrible and all tearing me apart.
slumber is but a temporary relief of this torture. if i manage to drift in.

only time can tell, only this space time continuum can tell whether i deserve another chance.
another chance. if only i can have it.
i pray.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

i am off to Melacca

just a quick update, i am gg to Melacca from 24-26 Nov.

apparently my mum got a 20% off for hotels or something, so we are gg there to see my dad's cousin. She just got a new house. and we are there to have a look. It's daddy's birthday today.

HAPPY Birthday!!!

was browsing through my mum's lenses for her film SLR. and found a 28mm F/2.8 Tonika. Blardy old. but blardy good!!!! it is manual focus though and also i have to do my own exposure assessment, no metering. Love shooting with it because it makes me think a lot before i shoot. It's a prime lens i suppose, no change of zoom, mum calls it standard lens, dad calls it fixed lens. It's interesting to see them both show me their lenses. Some are older than me 0.o

Take care and have fun.

Good luck to those having exams. Like MR Edwin Yang and mm other people in NUS

some photos are up on my flickr. but mm think forgot to rotate some. iritating. as photoshop and adobe bridge auto rotates the photos and so i forget to rotate them as i think they are rotated... u catch my drift.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

back in singapore. home sweet home

yay, back home at last. those who want to date me, go out with me, msg me. or call. or leave a tag a comment.

just showered after getting home. sooo tired. photos are still in the midst of processing.

my 50mm F/1.8 lens came =) sooooooo happy. have a few great shots already.


Monday, November 19, 2007


good thing didnt have to cycle today. if not i would have been mummified. But still i am tired.

But the company was good. and It was all out, we were so glad, it is a great day today.

photos are still in post processing, will upload them when i am done with them. now only have 2 uploaded.

places i went so far and pictures i took...

  1. post exams. timsum and random shots after exams
  2. strawberry farm and Brighton beach wif my housemate as the model!
  3. timsum with bambie and ling and the others
  4. Dinner with the singaporean meddies at Daryl's place
  5. Day out with Joanna who came from Brisbane, great shjots from St. Kilda's beach, best sunset ever.
still waiting for my 50mm F/1.8 to arrive. taking soooo long.
realised i should have gotten a wide angle lens rather than a 50mm prime =(

and i learnt how to take portraits at beach after experimenting so much with Jo.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Deviant art

i realise deviantart is a fantastic place for artists to meet, to learn.

i have a few people to thank that got me here in photography, i wont say very very far yet, but well it is far.

  1. Ming Jian for boosting my knowledge of photography with the book he bought for me on my 21st birthday. and from there i started exploring different techniques
  2. Xin Yi for constantly challenging the boundaries of composition. This has made me think how i can better compose EVERY photo i take.
  3. Becky for buying a book for advanced techniques that will last me a life time. it's like giving gatorade to me while i am in a marthon. rejuvenation.
  4. Robby for his advie and guidance
  5. Ezra for making me realise that it is important to know the boons and banes of your camera and how to exploit them.
  6. anyone else who has inspired me whatsoever or allow me to use them as a model lol.

i was trying to find portraits or people shots so that i can emulate one for a self portrait. and i encountered problems:
  1. there are almost no male popular shots
  2. if there are, they are usually nude or sexy.
  3. and so my search for good and unindecent shots for males continues. after exams.
and now my collection is almost complete
  1. nikon d80
  2. tamron 70-300mm F/4-5.6 LD macro 1:2
  3. tamron 28-80 mm F/3.5-5.6
  4. Lowepro Nova1 camera bag
  5. 52, 58, 62 mm filters for my lenses (including polarisers for 52 and 58mm)
  6. the 50mm F/1.8 prime lens is on it's way from Hong Kong. hope it comes soon so i can find someone to shoot with it.
  7. i am just short of a wide angle lens. i was thinking maybe i will get it when i earn some money from either shooting or from some other source of income.
good luck to everyone for tmr's last paper. i think i need all the luck i can get. i am scared seriously.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Tech support, Melanie's 21st!

So tonight, i was tech support for Lesley again lol, her new tenant couldnt connect to the internet and she fetched me over to see and solved it.

Tmr gg to collect my camera from the post office, maybe after i go library i suppose.

Melanie's 21st was SMASHING. First cake fight in 2 years at a bdae. Started by none other than Daryl Da Man. he Da Man. have a look at the photos.

Studying has beeeeeen terrrrible. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh

Good luck. GG. lol not so fast, i will survive ;p

Monday, October 29, 2007

Why tomorrow will be a better day.

First it has been a terrible day, learnt a whole lot about studio lighting for photography, nothing about medicine. and i mean nothing. Furthermore, i am falling sick, having the sniffles and we usually know where this proceeds: sniffles > sinusitis > Cough > URTI > bronchitis > antibiotics > resolution.

So deriving from first principle that today = terrible day, tomorrow cannot be as bad or worse, so it will be a better day than today.

Also on a side note, we are going to have a better future with the following inventions:

terabyte thumbdrive in 3 years: that 1024 gigabytes for those who do not know, it is more energy efficient, has more space

Focus fusion: not cold fusion, not conventional nuclear fusion, not nuclear fission. new energy in the making. If this works, we probably may end up with an ice age at last.

For those who do not know, the cyclical ice age has been delayed for very very long due to our industrious production of gases from our farts in our industries.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Daylight savings has started

Yes 3 hours ahead of Singapore again. 1 hour lost. not that i studied in that hour lol.

in library now.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Miss you.

yes i do miss u.

not sad, but just a yearning. you probably dunno who you are, the world can try to guess but no one knows =)

a secret locked away from the rest of the world.

i remember the joy u bring, the fact i just want to smile when i want to see you, remember the way we looked at each other.

i miss you.

you think it is you, but then you think not, you'll never know if it is you.

Monday, October 22, 2007

d80 incoming from the US

so i bought a nikon d80 from ebay from the US. it's coming with 2 lenses

tamron 28-80mm F3.5-5.6
tamron 70-300mm Di LD macro lens.

total of USD$889.95 + USD$60= about SGD$1400

quite a steal. but i think there goes my pay i earned this year and that remained from last year.

hope to get a SB800. but mm think have to plant money tree first.

Tmr doing a shoot for the year 2s in South 1 LT. hope it turns out well, havent had the chance to recce the LT, but hope i get a chance tmr at 8 am.

This hobby is getting a bit serious lol.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


so i am librarying, slow start to studying, but at least i started i suppose.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

untitled but not unloved

i thought i was procrastinating, then i saw this site. and it is perfect.

if you ever forget what love is, have a look, have a listen. Leigh's photography

the pictures she took, are what photography should be, communicating emotions, communicating love. Communicating...

And with this i remember my path down the long road is not all terrible and unloving.

photography, is but a stream of moments u wish to see that slip pass u in an instant.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

photography how far can you go?

have a look at sports photography

then there is the camera that you can shoot more than 100 Megapixels
the ALPA 12 XY

does it even look like a camera to u? lol

together with the lens and the digital backing, think you have to fork out about USD $10000.

haha, i hope i dun end up there, paying so much just for a camera that looks wierd ;p

okay time to sleep for me. and time for the flame to burn, and start vigorous studying.

Friday, October 12, 2007

wikipedia on the decline? are you tone deaf or rythm deaf?

have a look. a dip in the rate of number of articles created and also rate of edits

test if you are tone deaf? i got 83.3%

or test if you are rhythm deaf? i got 80%

pitch perception i got about 7.8Hz .

tell me if u do the tests. i dunno if the scores are real enough.

Sunday, October 07, 2007


It's cold. When there was darkness, no sun to give heat.
When all that is left is but me and cold meat.
I showered in the cold, i shivered as did my breath.
Never so cold outside it burnt me inside.
After a while, the shivers died down, and i realised i was numbed.
So we can be so cold we forget to shiver, so cold we grow numb of it all.
As though the body gave up on itself.

A walk tonight through the lack of light.
So cold, so windy.
To get a knife, yes the blade so cold, back to where it should be.
It cleared my mind, realised it's time to let it go, to let everything flow.
For who are we but a piece of sand, flowing through the universe with his breath.

If i was cold only so you could be warm, i would do it till my breath freezes.


So i feel desolated in terms of loneliness, i wonder how friends are? whether sometimes i have too high expectations of them, or they are just bound by restrictions that do not allow them to interact with me. Not many people will understand. But i always think everyone is lonely. Unless you are in reciprocated love, for nonreciprocating love is desolating, very desolating. Makes the bed lonely especially without Liv.

Study. i better pick up some momentum. Study has been zilch. I am worried. But i am not acting on it. i will. i promise i will. Now? i hope it starts now.

Photography. I won a competition organised by the Monash Photography Club. Won a 2GB SD card, a Gloria Jeans gift pack and 2 weeks free coffee at Caulfield campus. But i dun go to Caulfield campus, nor do i drink tt much coffee. lol But i am thankful for those who voted for my photo which was put up at the cafe in Caulfield. I won the point and shoot category, while Robby won the dSLR category.

Kary's Family.
Originally uploaded by kerfern

Had a great time at Kary's Surprise birthday party. She had her whole family there! Took many great shots, but i discover limitations of my camera are still not overcome. Dark high ISO pics still look terrible with noise removal. And i want a wide angle adapter and also a F2 lens. haha that will mean i buy a wide angle adapter or buy a dSLR. haha like i got money to. had a few shots for XY's surprise morning celebration too. time for me to let go and abandon photography for a while till after exams, if not i am not gg to pass. seriously.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness

now my current favourite quote by Woody Allen in Love and Death (1975):

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness — I hope you're getting this down

reminds me of 白马非马, where the edge of logic is on the verge of illogic lol. Go check out the link. yes yes, not many peopl know wikipedia has chinese to it too.

Monday, October 01, 2007

2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128 at last i am at a binary number post again lol

how geeky is that post title man.

The one week break, slacking too much,  took too many photos, till i know how to use many functions in photoshop.

explored the limitation of my grainy shots @ high ISOs at Lesley's and Nirvana's birthday party, and found that i dun really have a limit now i have a good noise removal software lol. but i only shot till ISO 800. Th party was great. nice simple, with majong included. and nice family warmth, Lesley's parents, sister, and grandmother came to stay. Lovely =)

went Tulip Fest on Saturday. Took many good photos as well as from the Dandenong Ranges Park for birds. Actually managed to get shots of Cockatoos flying away, with the help of Jackie the Monash Photography club's treasurer. The trip with the photography club was immense, 2 full buses and 1 car. tt's 114 + 1 car of people (dunno how many were in it).

Studies wise. not good at all. finished the bare minimum: grp work reflective. tt's about it. and i am serious. so now time to rush. Thanks to the stress from Bambie, Jas lol.

And if i want to be a surgeon, it is time i actually touched my Moore's again.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

i got a theory

okay this is the second night i am having trouble sleeping because of discomfort or tingling in the arm.

Theory: Sg/Sx consistent with Restless Leg Syndrome, except mine is in the hands.
it is known that a possible cause is abnormal spinothalamic stimulation.
so i think it may be caused by the pain from my badly grazed right forearm from cycling that is excessively stimulating the spinothalamic tract. Causing this to happen to me.

I hope i can get to sleep soon. If it persists, i think i have to go see the doctor, if not i wont be able to sleep every night.

what better way to know a disease than to have it yourself. I always wondered how it felt to ave tingling sensations in restless leg syndrome. Maybe i shouldnt have wanted to know too much.

Go read if you want:

Monday, September 24, 2007

Happy birthday indeed =) Thanks

Friday night: It was meant but well i guessed it ;p Thanks to those who organised the dinner =) It was a fantabulously awesome night. i still not sure who are the masterminds but i am thinking, Xin Yi, Jasmine, Becky and Kel.

Thanks to those who came for dinner: Tat Woon, Becky, Jas, Victor, Jonathan Tan, Chuan Tai, Kelvin, Xin Yi, Melissa, and Kary.

Thanks to those who came for the after med ball chill out at La La Land: Ling, Melanie, Daryl, Sam Bo, Yeo, Baey, Ju Ho. Cool and lovely place. Think it is my fav chill out place now. And special thanks to Daryl who treated the guys to a Cowboy each.

Then Sunday night: Spend half a day finding out how to get chkdsk to start at boot when it doesnt want to no matter how hard u try. Yup i was fixing Amy's laptop. She commented it was a half yearly maintenance schedule lol. Then later head off to watch HAIRSPRAY. i love it =) soo funny and Amanda Bynes is soooo hawt, especially in the tight tight dress in the end, and Melanie thought so too. Who went: Melanie, Lester, Kel, Becky, Wan Jie, Dan. Didnt take photos though, was a bit tired for the day. Then went Spicy Fish for dinner. If they opened that restaurant in Singapore, think they will strike rich, all the spicy stuff! soooo shiok ah. Andgood thing Becky had some non-spicy food to eat =)

Monday morning till early afternooon: Went to cycle with Kary to the City. I made a map for cycling routes to get from my place to Kary's and because i had to look at the map so frequently, i ended up spending 1 hour 15 mins to get to her place. But it was far. Then we went to the city took only 45 mins or so lol. The view along the way was soooo beautiful, wish to do this again. Had lunch at Port Melbourne and when on the way back, to the city itself, tried to make the bike jump (amateurly) and ended up grazing my right forearm badly. Really badly. haha silly me.

So good thing Crown casino was near by, washed it thoroughly in the toilet then got the security to help me get someone to bandage it up. They were really nice people =). Not really good at first aid, but nice and helpful =) so then Kary cycled back and i took the train back as i wasnt really fit for long cycling after grazing my right forearm and left palm. Well i guess i should be gglad my camera and the bike was alright. but my cargo berms were torn, my spectacles which were in my berms pocket had the nose support broken off and tt is about it.

Currently i am waiting to return Elliot for his bike. If not for him, i would not have been able to have such a wonderful day. Thanks =) And about gifts, i thank those who contributed to my Global Chef's Knife, I know it is a whole string of people, i cant remember all of you, but i want to thank all of you personally =) And jasmine for buying the knife.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hurrah! i have a new lens cap and i have discovered Noiseware!

Lens cap i bought from ebay has arrived at last.
Discovered a photoshop plugin called Noiseware that can remove noise from my noisy ISO 400 and above. SO now i can shoot more pictures at higher ISO. And the noise removal is impressive, even surpasses the Silkypix program that processes the RAW files.

Lurve my camera.

Meanwhile. i learnt from Ezra that you can use film SLR camera lenses on dSLR, so actually i can get a D40x body and use my mum's flim SLR lenses... wahaha
but that is if i want to get it ;p costly costly, i'll pay through thte nose dearly. have a Look at the specs of D40x.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Confused Euphoria Flattered

So i lost my wallet yesterday, ran to Becky's house because we were late. dropped it once, and picked it up, but apparently i didnt knowi dropped it again. Hope that whoever picked it up will return to me through the mail box. Debit card was expired, need to get another ATM card, Driving license, Student ID, Working with children card? Should be making a police report tmr. but i dunno if they entertain, dropped wallets. and i wonder if i can get a police report and get my student ID free. Jas says it is $70 to replace. Sigh. And the worst of all, the thing that cannot be replaced is that Karin my dear cousin bought it for me, so i lost a gift.

This weekend has been terrible. got really distracted. not by the usual stuff. But interesting stuff i thought i would never see, at least for now. And well i slept too much. like woke at 1700 today. my goodness. And i have a theory that i may be having depression, like excess sleeping, lack of pleasure from usually pleasurable activities like cooking and eating. Dinner tonight was good according to Jasmine, but i thought i didnt really like it. So i guess i have to wait and see if i fulfil the DSM IV criteria for clinical depression, guess it has to last 2 weeks before i am officially mental. haha.

Exam results are out. but seems like everyone did better than last time. including me. though there were huge improvements in numerous people. i only managed to improve a teeny bit. Time to Bark up and slap myself. As for the distractions. I am in a dilemma to call them off, how do u call off something that brings so much variety and fun and pleasure in your life. Beats me. But i got a bus to catch. The bus to get a HD. haha

And was the photographer for Mid Autumn Festival. Should be sending out photos to people i promised. i just havent been on the right track of mind recently. And uploaded photos of wat i did at CPP. photos for MAF should be up soon, when i get some bandwidth to steal somewhere.

REalise that i still dunno how to flsh properly with my slave flash, good at taking portraits, but not the big picture. Ezarrah a 1st year med student, who's into badminton and also photography taught me that i should make use of my image stabalisation more and not get too concerned about the high grain at higher ISOs, because i can shoot at lower shutter speeds with less shake.
and i realise i lost his blog address together with my wallet. shucks. If you are reading this Ezarrah, leave me a tag on my blog!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

The love of life

Had a great Friday night at the play: I Hope You Dance. And i agree i was glad i went, excellent music esp from Ethan, Script from Xin yi, and dancers. Shot a few photos. a few meaning 444 photos which have been eliminated to a choice 200+ lol. Food was surprisingly good. Even educated Vivek that 茶叶蛋 is made using tea leaves, think he still dared not eat it after ;p

mm found interesting breakthroughs:
how to detect cancer without drawing blood, and resolution is better than MRI. using immunofuorescence and a laser on surface veins to detect marked cells.
nanoparticle invented to detect peroxide through immunofuorescence again. which is produced in cancer and Alzheimer’s to heart disease and arthritis and many other diseases.

then i came up with an interesting idea well maybe you can actually use the nanoparticle as a marker for peroxide but maybe tweaking the laser to detect the fluorescence. But well maybe that will happen next time. Maybe i'll try linking up the 2 parties together and see how it goes =)

also, Jas an I saw an interesting episode of 60 mins tonight, where there is the use of electrodes to detect nerve impulses at amputation sites for prosthetic arms and legs to move. even to the extent of fine controlling of power of the arm.

and i also read there is a system of controlling wheelchairs by thought too. through detection of impulses to the larynx, so u think of a word and it will move the wheel chair.

SO now is the time i have started to get motivated, and am working hard, or well at least i am starting =)

Why do stars fall down from the sky everytime you walk by

So a surprise failed, but well at least it sorta made me laugh after haha. There is no cloud in your sky.

many have asked me about my msn nick, why "unconditional love"? some thought i had love in my life. =) well i wished it were so, but it is actually after the play tha Xin Yi directed: I Hope You Dance, at OCF overseas christian fellowship, Pastor Steven mentioned about the unconditional love God has for us. No i am not christian yet lol. Xinyi ivited many of us to go lah. But the unconditional love hit me, again. I forgot when i first understood what unconditional love was. As he said, a love that you cannot earn and cannot take away, as it is unconditional.

Many feel that this love is never seen for we humans have such strong ego and selfishness. But the epitome of examples of unconditional love in our daily lives is Motherly Love. It is the love that is unconditional. Although the mother barely knows the child that was just born, she gives her whole heart to it, willing to give her life for the child, willing to give it anything, and most importantly not asking for anything in return.

The Love that we see frequently is the conditional one, where you love your bf, gf hoping for something in return, a hug, a gift, sex, whatever. But of course there are times that there are doses of self sacrificing love where u are willing to give your all to him or her, just to make her happy.

Unconditional love is indeed beautiful. And it is a strong motivator for me as i forget how much love there is in the world, and how much that there is still lacking. Love is always present but never enough. For the ugly world devours every bit of love there is. So i am inspired to give the world more love, more life, more happiness. For we are all here for a reason.

Forget My Heart for Yours is still bleeding, more than mine and i am here to make it whole again.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

tech update

for those that are still clueless gPhone is going to be relased to the world in about 2 weeks time, cant wait they say it is aimed at basic users as opposed to iPhone which aims at high end users. and will cost only USD$100. with gmail access, google maps integrated with in built GPS, sounds good enough for me. has its own operating system, hope they incorporate 3rd party soft ware like isilo and acrobat reader. then i can use it as my PDA liao. And well there is the announcement tha Nokia will release a competitor to iPhone, interesting, this 'arms race' has but just begun.

when i have time, which is probably never, i would love to build a supercomputer which has a performance of 26.25 gigaflops which is 2.2 x more powerful than a Centrino core 2 duo. and it costs only USD$2500. haha. how cheap for a super computer.

There has been an implementation of the Berlin heart, also see here used to buy time for children heart donors which recently has been shown to improve heart regeneration during usage.

My life? well it has been stagnant at being boringly not studying. rested for 6 and a half days this week. haha. time for me to start. stressed? definitely. at last there is enoguh stress to get me started.

Happy 22nd Birthday to Kelvin Chng. Photos will be up soon.
Good luck to Terese in Todai, University of Tokyo. Get a zoom lens soon babe.
Hugs to people who need it. like Mel Chang. You will be better soon =). i dun even noe if u will read this.
And to the housemate. you were always in control, but time is slipping past your hands as i personally would KO if i were in ur situation. tsk tsk why some people can multitask so much better.

Sunday, August 26, 2007


I have a question for you.
Why am i such a fool?
To jester in your court,
Just to hope you would some how halt, and take a look at me.
And you sit in your balcony so high, no one can reach.
While i try to reach and fall as i earnestly beseech.
When i wish upon a star, my dreams come true?
And when it doesnt i blame who?
Question me and question you,
but can i ever have an answer from you.

i do not make sense when i am sick. the brain is partially soggy like a candle melted off its wick. And holes will gather in the net, for my brain is holey lest i forget.

Something's Gotta Give

Lovely film. released in 2003, pretty nice film, watched most of it on tv tonight. Romance in old age i would think. but it teaches how to love let in. I know someone who needs to learn that ;p

i have been sick for the last few days since exams were over on Wed. slept an average of 12+ hours a day. Amazing i am still sleepy now. drugged from the histamine in my clogged nose, that my mind is wondering and tired. A wondering mind gets focus when it thinks of wierd stuff, ranging from lamenting at the lack of love to how busy can someone get and not reply messages on msn. you start to think of ideas why they do not answer messages, and i spend half my time sleeping thinking i think of wierd stuff. I had this dream that i was jumping on cows, i forgot what it was for.

Missed a run, i had a 10 km run scheduled this morning but missed it thanks to my illness. great weather, great company, but i wasnt there. and so i lost $16. At least Daryl Chung helped me spend my $16 better lol and ran for me =)

After hearing a brief of the exam debrief from the housemate, once again, exam results are not going to be as good as i hoped for.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, say a lil prayer for me

i promise i will not lament about not studying in this post. MY life well has been monotonous somewhat. what broke the monotony this week was going to National Day Celebration organised by SAM. It was great. Jeff said he expected it to be better, well it's my first time there. Anbd thanks to Ling, i was the photographer for that too. have a look at the photos. Once again i learnt something new in photography: people are fascinated by a slave flash and that i should get a diffuser, though i just made one out of baking paper... Where cooking meets photography lol.

Then Friday night, because i ran out of food, i went out with Melissa and a few year 3s Weng Fai, Chong Beng and Pradeep for dinner. Pradeep has a new Jazz too, but it's auto. And he drives a bit too fast and reckless for my liking lol. but well at least there was adrenaline. Went to Box Hill to eat. Never been there before. The Char Siew i ate was the best i have eaten in Australia.

Okay now i am off to execute my plan to counter my ever present sloth and get some studying done. Say a little prayer for me. ;p

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: super- "above," cali- "beauty," fragilistic- "delicate," expiali- "to atone," and docious- "educable," the sum meaning roughly "Atoning for extreme and delicate beauty while still being highly educable." i.e. someone incredibly beautiful but also extremely intelligent. i have in mind 1 person who is tt lol.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!

So what do u do, what do you feel, when u see a bouquet of champagne tulips, so beautiful, u want to buy it for a girl, but you realise you have no one to give to.

what do you do when you suddenly realise the night was cold and lonely, and you want to share your warmth with someone and wonder who, when there is no one there for you to.

And the pillows smell of emptiness while you hope to have a familiar fragrance lingering, but u never smelt that fragrance yet. you wonder when will u first see her, when will u first smell her, sense her.

why do you hide your feelings in the masquerade? Is it so hard to let the past be and to let love in?
Hide your heart, so love will never find you.
And the smile you carry everyday, is sad, as i am too.

Any where you go let me go too.
Love me - that's all i ask of you.

p.s. no i am not in love, just that i have an inundation of heartache when hearing my favourite track from Phantom of The Opera: That's All I Ask Of You

Sunday, August 12, 2007

烧肉 perfection

made the best 烧肉 shao1 rou4 ever, too bad i was too hungry, didnt leave some for my housemates or the usual people who steal food from me on weekdays. so well i suppose self praise is no praise. lol

spent the whole Saturday from 8 am till 6 pm to realise that i cant deal with Microsoft Access. I need a proper tutor for that. to analyse my survey results for Health Promotion project. but then i found out how to use excel as a database. so things should be fine, thanx to dad teaching me basic excel like close to 10 years ago lol. well there are many new commands exp for stats that i never ever touched b4. well i'll learn it along the way i suppose. and so will my team: Jas, XY, Becky, Kel ;p

started studying hard for a while, but lost a bit of momentum since friday. so gotta catch up today! 10 days to exams again. lol many ask why so fast another exam, well, there was a screw up in the scheduling for the previous one.

photos are up as u can see ;p and people please make comments about the photos. if u have any that is.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

So a rollercoaster I say.

Ups and downs. I counsel and lend a listening ear to many, and I never saw this day come that I needed someone to listen, though I didn't really have that much to say. I had a surge of depression, probably repressed feelings of rejection, probably about not being able to see my friends here and in sg, about just how frustrating it is for close friends I have that are struggling with long distance relationships, and many other factors I choose to not disclose or just cant remember.

But a light shone on me, friends I have, friends I cherish, that are there sticking their ear to my heart, listening for any missed beats or absence of life. So concerned about me, not moving even when I shove u away. An amazing friend indeed. And another, always willing to sacrifice time for me, after I thought u the importance of relationships in life and not just the headless pursuit for perfection in academia.

Well I am healed, with a smile almost constantly on my face. Not that I have no problems, but I have friends that care.

Other parts of my life:

Happy birthday to John Lee Wei Chern. Good buddy, fellow marist. Fellow meddie, but sadly miles away in the tropics. Hope u got the card. If not I will screw the mailman.

Got my P's for my driving in Australia, so means that I can drive legally, without supervision, but it does not really matter since I dun have a car and I dun intend to get one soon. At least not till next year or year 4. At last paying AUD$1000 has paid off lol.

Watched Phantom of the opera. Love the conductress. She was absolutely hawt and highly professional! If I had a rose I would give it to her lol. Watched it with Amy and her cousin and cousin's bf too bad we couldn't get tickets for more people. Met Ling and the year 1s and hitched a ride back with Ling. She stays nearer to me anyways.

I'll upload photos for MCF on my Flickr soon. No more bandwidth at home, overshot the quota again. Think it is only a bit faster than a 56kbps now. tata

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

And so it is...

So it was depressing for a while, at least i am now uplifted with the answer. Thanx to u :) i noe wat to do now. 2 in a week, if i were u i tink i would have been suicidal.

Multiple injuries from badminton, but they are all healed by now. Melissa says "Becky laugh at ur badminton skills? later i train u, u trash her" haha see if she actually bothers to train me.

Missed netball due to the twisted ankle from badminton, really wanted to go, but yar i was injured.

Have not read anatomy at all... so i am clueless at Anat tutes, well i realise i learn sooo much in tute as opposed to when i read up, i feel like tutes are a waste of time ;p

Spent the weekend fiddling with photoshop, just to make posters, A3 size 200gsm glossy relatively cheap at Officeworks, about $4 or 5 and service charge about $4 i tink, but i printed 2 posters, total to $13.50 cant be bothered to count the service charge.

baked a cheesecake again tonight with Lesley and Melanie, THE housemate cooked dinner, i am one appreciative boy tonight. Cake got over fluffed up and cracked again :( sad, some more it's for someone's bdae. i felt so bad, forgot to use bainmarie, so the side of the cake got browned badly. Sigh. well i guess there will be another better time.

Got to be the official photographer of Multi Cultural Festival organised by Monash Uni International Students Services MUISS. Thanks to Christie!!!!! i luv u for giving me the chance to be. lol. erm lurve u in a friendly way hor.

Photos will be up soon. after the event ends this thurs.

need to iron shirt for CPP later in the day. ta ta. and u people who read. post some comments or tag lei. i am so bored.

Sunday, July 22, 2007


so i tried a MMORPG massively multiplayer online role playing game, and well erm let's just say it is good enough to get me a teeny weeny bit addicted to it. it's 9dragons. chinese kung fu based theme. i am a shaolin monk apparently.

Apparently someone sold the WOW character for USD$1280. lol see it

and in the news too: ONE in five girls is starving herself or vomiting to control her weight in a horrifying side-effect of Australia's obesity epidemic.

i am trying on a theory that if i have massive distraction, i feel that i dun need constant small distractions so i can have dedicated distraction time and dedicated studying time. if i get work done before i sleep means that it works. well i need to curb distractions. tsk tsk. if not how am i gg to be what i want to be? a good doc that can at least impress not patients but other doctors, i dun want to end up killing patients.

and also this is to prep with a potential more distracting distraction in future. my good friend and sister Becky should have some idea about what i am thinking ;p

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

And it is over. For now.

Exam today was bad. but not as bad as i imagined it to be. So many questions especially anatomy that i know i should know but i didnt. Sigh...

And well for those who did the exam. the first 2 SAQ, haha i tink both worth 10 marks in total all gave back to the examiners liao.

So i promised some people i would try to get 80. well i suppose i didnt try hard at all. i should get murdered for this. i feel so guilty squandering my time away. not studying. i am going to. from today. i will start tonight. i hope. i am hungry ;p

Saturday, July 14, 2007

How things affect us from the past

Today i had a driving lesson, my instructor said i was more aggressive today, and accounts it to my exam stress for the paper next Wed. lol made only 1 fumble today. still having a pretty girl see me drive haha.

He got Amy, this year 12 ABC to have her lesson after mine. As a surprise for me last week lol. And yes my, she is pretty, pretty fit too, does competitive long distance. Well last week she drove me home, this week, we stopped by her house early to pick her up and then i drove myself home while she sees how i drive. think she is into her 10th lesson or so. too bad Ming Jian missed out on this ;p

Then when i was about to bid farewell. I noticed my instructor's watch was upside down. and i asked why. He said he has been wearing watches upside down for 40 years. When he was year 6 or so (our primary 1), there was this girl who sat on his left for 2 years and kept asking him wat time it was every 5 mins or so. So he decided to wear his watch upside down on his left wrist so she could see the time, and she stopped asking. And he continued to wear the watch upside down since then. lol how sweet is that ;p

I hope i finish wat i set out to read today. And thanx for Becky instilling fear in me with random calls about random renal physio to make me panic more to study ;p

On a side note. think a URTI is coming up. i feel phlegmatic, and my minds a bit cloudy lately. Cough cough cough. think my immune system is going soft

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Becky’s 19th Birthday!

It was an eventful day, Sang a song to her with Xin Yi at the piano. Went Dragon Boat for timsum with her, nice of Ling (who literally just touched down about 3hrs before) and Jon Tan and Jasmine (his GF) to come.

Special thanx for Jasmine (the housemate). She helped made the TIRAMISU (XY helped too), also helped keep the cake refrigerated overnight, transported it to the restaurant, and got it setup. Really appreciate her ;p

Kary: thanx for the candles and being late for work to spend time with us again ;p

Then watched the latest Harry potter movie which released today in Australia. Then spent the night playing Wii at Terrences place with Becky and XY and Jas.

Lovely day indeed.

Karin the cousin's here too! Can't wait to go find her and have a meal. Hope I study hard later today, after I recuperate, think I falling sick. Time to take more Vitamin C.

interesting news: Betel nut is cancer causing, antibodies for SARS found

For those who do not know, research has shown that betel nut the ones that are chewed so frequently in Taiwan and India, is actually cancer causing. I for one heard of it before but never knew it to be true.

Have a look: http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTP29310120070711?feedType=RSS&pageNumber=3&sp=true

Also antibodies for SARS have been found! have a look: http://www.nih.gov/news/pr/jul2007/nci-02.htm

Monday, July 09, 2007


Will reminiscing count if it was for the past day ;p or the past few days in which has passed?

well i was looking back the past few days. eventful and pleasing. Though at times mum and i did not agree, we still resolved it. shouldnt all arguments and disputes be resolved like tt. IT seems like she suddenly realisd i grew up and that she respects my decisions and views, no longer forcing her thoughts on me. a barricade lifted.

nights are nice when they are not alone, when there is music: vocals and splendid music. I'll still be here in the morning.

Went to great ocean road with mum. guess that was the highlight of her week here. other than the washing machine outlet overflow( had to dry and mor the whole floor), terrence so nice to cook for my mum, jas, XY and i for dinner, the first night XY was here where we all had dinner cooked by my mum, me realising that my mum has much more dexterous hands and may have been a better surgeon ;p hahahah. Photos for GOR are being uploaded as we speak.

It was many firsts for me. first time i (and my mum) was on a tour in Melb, first time i had so much chinese spoken to me in one day in chinese (by the tour guide), first time i was at GOR, first time i was on a helicopter (at the 12 apostles, 十二门徒, great photos from that $60 ride it was good.), first time i brought mum to chomp chomp for dinner.

i got my new external flash on Friday, been having fun with it. takes a lot of work to get it right. i need more experience. for techies or photog enthusiasts: it's not a TTL flash, it can swivel sideways and upways (so i can bounce flash), it is a slave flash so that i can synchronise it with my main camera's flash which serves as a fill flash now.

the pictures that i took this round: many many more HDRs (think there were 20+) and 3 panoramas that were not that spectacular. have a look. for those who dunno what HDR is, erm go look here.

And spoken so much on not studying as u can see. so i hope the next few days will be fruitful.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

updated my links section

new links inside.
acronym searcher. the best i have seen
medical dictionary i use.
and metlinkmelbourne. for people who want to noe how to navigate around melbourne.

at the library now, studying with Yeo. mum's at chaddy i tink.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Mum’s Here!

Yays. She is here. I dun exactly miss my family or friends much last year somehow, call me heartless if u want. But this year, it seems more unbearable than usual. Maybe, I miss them after erm 2 years of on off contact. It's almost depressing.

I definitely miss my friends more, maybe it's because some good friends I made here also went back. U guys noe who u are. And there is Johnny boy who is away from Australia for a loooong time.

Mum and I erm went around shopping, eating, cooking. Going to Great Ocean Road at last, On Coming Friday. Haha my first Chinese tour, apparently my mum was reading my landlord's Chinese newspaper and saw the Great Ocean Road tour promo price of $39 per person, but end up over liao. Still not bad got a $69 per person deal. Hope I get a chio Chinese tour guide though. Haha. At least the one who sold us the tickets, the manager, so HAWT, and so capable lol. Drools..

Study is somewhat on track, as I catered a bit of time to relax. Time is always in front though ( I am behind time). Hope u guys who already finish exam are having a great time enjoying, and those mugging like me: erm have a good time mugging to, at least try to enjoy it lah ah, makes it easier.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Bank Term Deposit Rates

Smashing! Not many banks in the world actually give 7% p.a. (24mths) here are 2 I found. RAB Bankwest

Dunno how trustworthy they are. I may invest there though.

ING direct is only 6.85% and well Commonwealth Bank is only 6.6%

Music takes away the loneliness when it is 4 am in the morning.

Hope I have a more fruitful day at studying today. I wonder if I have settled. Maybe I just got to do do do and not think so much

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Testing my first post from Word 2007

So I am just typing my first post straight from Word 2007. Integration of technology, tricky business I would say. Not as tricky as politics in life. Good night and Kerf, Out

studying time

yes at last. it is time. mug away. though this exam is 5% of my entire year's assessment, i think i would need to noe these stuff to actually not kill people next time.

meanwhile, i worked. and quit my job. earned about AUD$1000 after about close to 2 weeks of work. and quit so i can study full time. hopefully.

realise i miss Singapore a little more this year. my theory is that people that i got closer to here also went back or went to Malaysia... so i guess more 'attachements' are away from here. you know who you are fellow 'attachments', the people i actually miss.

inertia again. but well i feel like it is easing off. My driving test's on 2 Aug. hope i pass. and Ming Jian's one is on Coming Tues! Good luck MJ! and make sure u stay as confident about it as u have been!

Come to think about it, maybe that AUD$1000 i can save to maybe buy myself a palmtop which will be real useful. but it may result in me being overreliant on technology instead of remembering everything in my head, which theoretical we can since we use a minute amount of our vast brain only. we'll se how that goes. on the other hand $1000 can earn me $60 a year if i just leave it in the savings.

Time to progress in my intellectual endeavours. and not disappoint the people who wished me good luck for my future endeavours.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Anatomy of a knock out punch

interesting stuff.

Monday, June 11, 2007

of Acrobat pro 8 and office 2007

as many may know, there was inability for acrobat pro 8 to support office 2007. So8 Jun, smarty pants at Adobe released 8.1 which has full support for vista and office 2007.

go lookie:
Article explaining wat was done
Place to download the update if ur autoupdater has not download it yet.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Passion, Inspiration

After watching The American President, starring, Michael Douglas, Michael J Fox, Anette Benning. I had a sudden realisation.

Passion, in life, in what you do, in what you think, is omnipresent in life. Inspiration which lifts us up from the depths, to spur us for a moment is temporary, and short lived. We see an inspirational movie, about love, about life, about our aims in life and we get inspired. To do something better for ourselves, to do something better for others. But this inspiration dies after a while, as though we lost steam along the way. I dunno about you, but i frequently see myself lose my way, not able to stay on path to my dreams and goals. I frequently blame distractions, and procrastinations. But i realise this moment that. I lack passion.

We always try to encourage ourselves, with a quote from the Bible, images or gifts that remind us of the aspirations that we have, or others have for us. And we think what it would be to let down these people that have so much hope in us. But, these are not powerful enough, and usually are jsut momentary inspirations for me.

Sudden discovery of passion today has led me to think, how can i keep this alive? Maybe i write it down and read it when i do not feel the fire? But then i realise that, that would just be an inspiration, and that true passion never dies. It is believing in something you want to do. It is something you will want to achieve before you die, the cells, every single in the billions of them has the essence of your passion. And you work to it. You do not make empty promises to yourself anymore. And you live, and be. A single line of thought, not deviated, invariable. For you want it enough to sacrifice it all.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Michael Bublé - Call me irresponsible

A fantastic album that i got from dear Poon. Thanx loads for this smooth voiced album. smooth enough to lubricate any bad day.

i need to study for OSCEs. and catch up. Always playing catch up so tiring. Exams were postponed from before holidays to after: 18 July. So my hols from 9 June till 15 June i will plough through the thick fermented pile of knowledge that i have yet to consume. sad for a holiday. At least my mum is coming on 29 June that will bring some life to my monotonous life.

Perception seems to be changed by choice. You choose what and how u want to perceive. Even if an event you witness changes your perception, it is because you allowed it to. e.g. you see a video or a street side performace advocating irresposible sex. You wouldnt be affected by it to want to have irresponsible sex (of course there are some that will).

Maybe it's time to buy a heater. irritating how a CLOSED window still leaks cold air into my room and therefore cooling my right hand more than my left. As my right hand holds the mouse and my left is protected by the screen of my laptop. Sigh.

My condolences to Han Boon whose brother passed away. Though i do not know him at all.

People who think that they are unpopular: here is some fruit for thought. Social norms are what define how we should act in front of others. popularity is seen as people who conform to these norms and also impress by being able to twist the norms to make it more interesting without creating discomfort to others. They are therefore inspirational and also impressive.

Unpopular are prople who bend the norms but in a way that causes discomfort to others therefore causing others to want to stay away from you. No one wants to stay close to someone who makes them uncomfortable, i know that first hand ;p. So the cure: observe the world more carefully and the initial phase will be to emulate a popular person. Not emulate the actions but emulate the way they think: how to bend norms to impress. If not just stick to the norm and live peacefully.

Today i remember someone telling me i do not know what i am missing if i do not find love. :) yes good old blonde John said that.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Nice for Jocelyn to appreciate what i sent back for her. Haha nice to catch up too. appreciation a really nice feeling thingy to receive. but yet very low cost to give.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Sense of helplessness

helpless are people who dun want to help themselves. Since i am feeling a bit helpless, i would think i am subconsciously not wanting to help myself. Which is not a smart thing. Wish my subconscious is smarter than that. I have put my subconscious aside. HOpe i feel less hopeless after i navigate myself away from the ill effects of the procrastinating subconscious. We all want to rest and relax inside of us, just that we override that so that we can do better and work harder.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Photos from Rural Bairnsdale

The photos for Bairnsdale, my rural attachment for 2 weeks are up. Go look at my Flickr or here. Had a lovely time, the best accomodation: waterfront balcony, BBQ, tennis courts, swimming pool. A place of salvation after a long tiring day.

Activities were good, got to be in an amubulance and administer morphine and GTN to a cardiac patient. Got to do plastering, do IV cannulation on Jeff.
Got to talk to a few interns, and 4th year students. Got to see breath-taking views of the country. See how some people actually stay where there is not a single living soul other than you in a few kilometers radius.

Now back with so many thngs to do. Hope i sleep less.

a myriad of Assignments

Assignments many, i see
i gotta have to do what i have put aside to be.

fatigue creeps in
even with the loss of time through lumbering slumber.
sleep a time where we are free,
though not when it is full of dreams of work, if not nightmares.

the incessant chattering of voices telling me to start what i have to,
but i turn a deaf ear, when i dun hear them with ears.
procrastination, suspension, lingering, loitering, that's what i have been doing.

and it all ends today. for the mountains i have built at the back of my mind from a long to-do list,
are about to come crashing from my high expectations that only make them higher.

looking into the future and hoping that i can become what i see.
not a dream only is it?

Friday, May 04, 2007

At rural: Bairnsdale

Currently blogging at the Gippsland skool of rural health, apparently had previous 5 attempts at bloggin around here and at Omeo but to no avail. Well at last i get my chance. Beautiful place, beautiful accomodation. Good luck to Jeff hugging Jessica Alba at the premiere of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Gtg for PCL now. Will be back at urban on 11 May.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Be gone SPC!

well spent the whole weekend doing Students Project Cases SPC. Now i am supposedly well versed in political and health promotion issues of breast cancer.

Well i should go about actually absorbing Becky's part of patho physio and treatment. probably more useful than my part. well will be going to rural placement at Bairnsdale. and well i am considering going to remote hospital as there are only 2 places. Also maybe i will join the ambulance service for a while.

Well, now off to lecture. Exam was not too good. I'll pass but i dunno how much i'll get. Wait and see.

and Amy says hi to the world of blogging!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Hope i do not come online or blog post till after exams

I got too many distraciton online. Well now to curb them by not gg online at all. unless of course to use: http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/omd/

for people who actually need more than one desktop go: http://chsalmon.club.fr/index.php?en

How to make your Windows XP look like Vista/Longhorn. Well it doesnt have the Desktop windows manager which is still the coolest part. And also no desktop search which is in Vista. Well there is always Google, Microsoft and Yahoo Desktop indexing services. Go look:


well as you can see i spend too much time doing stuff that has nothing to do with studying.

Tata till Wed. Hope i dun get palpitations and die of a Myocardial infarction during the exam or maybe while studying.
Blardy Aussie Dollar climbed till 1.26 sianz... go look at the live updates at the bottom of my page

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Free hugs

And have a look at my photos of them at city where i was with Karin. We joined in and got our fair share of hugs too. Too bad we were pressed for time, if not we would have stayed the whole night there.

Karin was here

My cousin came, stayed and conquered Melbourne city. Photos are up. Lovely shots of brighton beach. Hope to make a good panorama soon. Real glad she came. Had a fantastic time, got a new pair of shoes.

Study is terrible. i wonder if i can make it. 18 April our exams. projects to kill my brain while i am studying too.... walk along a road so silent and dark and u realise how much u want to sob when u are stressed.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007


Ramble ramble. i just go on and on.... feel the momentum of my thoughts wa ha ha.

The word used to describe continuation of movement due to the presence of velocity, mass and therefore inertia. An object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will continue to move in a straight line of space. Space can be curved due to the effect of gravity as seen from Relativity.

So today. I went to eat lunch at the Menzies lawn in school, just because Nicole whom i was checking out that day during lunch, suddenly came over to sell Mutton Briyani vouchers for today. So I bought it from her.... Met JEM yes all 3 of them waiting for bus to Glen. Ate my lunch at the lemon scented lawns. However, the lemon scent was ot what it used to be last year, the grass has waned with the pressure exerted on them by the weighty humans that exert their dominance on worldly creatures with their feet.

Studied in Mattheson library for 3 hours and did more work than i did for the past week. i hope that the momentum will persist. Sounds impossible to some. . Well i'll leave it to you to believe or not. Returned to run with Jasmine. Though theoretically not with as i ran a different route, at a different speed. Decided to run round the field at Browns road. Had the urge to play soccer. Had so many chio bus to spur me on in my run. So much that i wheezed (yes i tried the long term beta agonist that the doc gave me... to no avail) and had a stich that lasted till the end of the run. 30 mins and i was tired.

Walked home after. decided to take a different route through Seascape then through Panorama. Amazingly i met Zhuo Ran, well she is in med too. Then i met Quenby. Apparently she stays on Panorama i tink or she had some business there. The car she was beside had a L plate though.

Then i met this Iranian guy. Just randomly started talking ot me while i walked home. Apparently he wanted to find a chort cut to get to Clayton so i showed him the short cut. Had a great chat with him. And found out that he is not actually coping well with life here but still faring well with his studies. he said he would get a HD for today's paper.

Cooked Curry chicken. Tasted not bad. Potatoes are starting to melt though. Burnt my wedding finger. Just a teeny weeny bit. But it stings a bit when i showered.

Ramble ramble. If any of you actually read from the first ramble to the last. I congratulate you on have such patience. Either you like to read about my life so much or you are concerned about me. Or maybe you just have more time than i think i have. Slumber now, for a better mind to work with later.... ta ta

Looking forward to Karin's (my cousin) arrival from Brisbane for Easter!

Monday, March 26, 2007


To look oneself in the eye and feel that you are up for whatever is coming ahead. Having aconfidence when you do not even know what is coming. Id that real confidence, or rather a lie that you can handle anything. You havent been through everything have you?

Motivation, self motivation is more than jsut telling yourself you can do it. It is truly believing in yourself. But how do you overcome the inertia that is making you sleepy every time you hit the books. (mine are ebooks ;p)Well i havent found an answer to that. Probably i need to remind myself why i am so tired. I dunno. Maybe i need to remind myself why am i doing medicine and what i set out to do in the first place. I am not here just to be a simple student that just passes. well it's a dream, but we dun get anywhere without dreams do we. Strive? to endure with will power. Maybe motivation is more powerful.

Beats me... i dunno what am i writing...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Busy busy busy not studying.. booo

Well had Singapore Association of Monash > SAM BBQ on Fri, Whole day Winery trip with the Monash Photography Club on Saturday. Both events were spectacular. Photos are already uploaded for these 2 events as well as Ling's Bdae with both my and her photos.

The BBQ: the turn out was like about 50, and they planned only for 30, so food was a problem. Well it was those people who did not RSVP and just came. Shame on them. Though i think i was one of them too ;P. Vivek, quickly remedied the problem with his right hand drive, pizzas and more sausages! There was also movie screening of Little man. Well i'm not exactly a fan of that kind of humour. Had lot's of fun shooting though, still think XY has a better personality for photographing. There was a class for Swing by Monash Dance Sport just beside our event. There are a few photos of that too. Angsty Jeff tell us about his farewell speech planning on his departure when they are going to hand over, interesting, but well not surprising. There are always people around who work and other who just look like they work. Some are sadder, they try to look like they work, but they not at all. lol

The winery trip: went to Yarra Valley for 3 different wineries. The planning of the trip was great, especially the logistics the amount of food catered for the trip was fantastic for 57 people, morning tea and also lunch. Though it was like sandwiches and breads and bakery stuff, we were still mighty satisfied. The view was splendid, says the photos. The wine was lovely, and i puchased one for me and another one for Melanie's dad, i remember her dad likes wine, when we went Vic market before we went back to Singapore. I bought Cabernet Sauvignon blend with Merlot vintage: 2003 and it was only $10!

Now back to studying. or rather back to starting to study...

Monday, March 12, 2007

Happy 21st! Miss Wong Ling Ling

Happy birthday to the girl. And lucky her got her best friends that came over to almost surprise her. That Pek Wan Sze forgot she got my umber, if not i could have helped to arrange for her surprising entry to the party.

I made my first ever Choc cake. and my first ever cake for 30 people. and in the end, it still wasnt enough. So as we can see the turn out for the party was huge. Venue was the JEM house. Those who do not know, it's Jeffery, Ethan and Ming Jian. The bbq was fantastic, though it poured after most of the food was done. Made great tasting prawns with Jim BEan. Didnt now it was Ethan who got it for himself. Sorry. But well the prawns were good.

The cake according to many was good. They said, the nuts inside were interesting. But here's the secret: there were no nuts! I forgot to get some castor sugar and ended up waiting for Xin Yi to buy. While waiting for the sugar, i mixed the egg and flour together, and the wait was too long causing the mixture to harden, so by the time i got to mix it with the choc, there were bits that could not blend in well... and that is the story of the pseudonuts. Well it was still good tasting for my first try. go look at the photos. They will be up soon.

Partially burnt my Shepard's pie today as i have no good oven. The oven has both top and bottom heating element, but only the bottom is working. Like cooking a ccake on stove like that. So to brown the top of my Shepard's pie, i transfer to the grill compartment of the oven and well i set the heat too high, there is no temp marking for the grill... booo... And well smelt it burning after i exited my shower. Thank goodness it's only the ripples of my Shepard's pie that is burnt.

Tommorrow is my first driving lesson, hope i learn fast, and pass early, so that i can get drining over and done with, at last i will have a new skill to flaunt to myself, and i got a mirror to look at all the time (as if i am so vain). That is if i get a car, which is very very unlikely

Thursday, March 08, 2007


no it's not a spelling error. it's Uni titled.

Studying better now. but well still long way to go for much stuff. still playing catch up as usual. Cooked Char Siew 叉烧 today using pork belly. And i realise that maybe i should use some other meet next time. I can almost imagine the fatty streaks forming in my vessels...

Becky got her car, Ethan's parents came and got us Krispy Kremes! Thanx Ethan and Ethan's Dad and Ethan's Mum! JEM got a 31" LCD screen, they getting foxtel. I can only react reactionlessly... Real sad that Mr Lee Wei Chern decided to go back to Malaysia to read his medicine. Well what to do, he has his reasons and i respect that.

Got a new Nokia 6288, with a 2 year plan in Australia's "3". it's a mobile service provider for those who do not know.. at $3 i get to have unlimited MMS to "3" users quite interesting.

Realise that actually i have many people around me who are really hardworking, and that i should attempt to follow their foot steps and not slack around. Still inspirational is Candy Goh: 3 times on Dean's Honour Roll. That's equivalent to Dean's list. Though it was for business, it's still incredible. Well she's my mum's friend's daughter. Not say real close to her, but still inspirational.

Sunday, March 04, 2007


Think i am not studying well. Not good. So i have to sacrifice a sumptuous dinner in city with SSAV. Sad that John had to go back to Malaysia in the end. But well as long as he is happy that way. There is seldom a win-win situation.

Realise that i have really really great inertia to go against to start studying. And no, i have not got the momentum yet. I am a little worried. Registered for driving lessons from RACV, hope they get back to me soon. Haha to think that i was wondering if there was enough time for other stuff like archery. Well this comes to show that i can't manage my time properly...

Meanwhile, photos i took in Malacca are out. It's the biggest set i have uploaded so far. Hope you guys like it. Photos of my room and refugees that have frequented are also there!

Now back to Anatomy. Hope i can mug hard to get the postgrad thingy our Gerry promised us.

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Feeling

The feeling that i have lesser confidence in myself somehow unlike last year.
The feeling that trouble is brewing among us somewhere i can't see too clear.
The feeling that i can make it somehow.
The feeling that love can come and go so fast you never saw how.

Think I resolve to do better this year. I realise so many people have high expectations of me since i went back. Well i will do my best that's all i can say.

The cycle of birthdays begin again.

The feeling of fear so great that my heart shivers, and yet my face still carries a perpetual smile, and the hand is yet so stable.

Got a new quilt and quilt cover set. Cost me a bit, but Kmart had 30% off! My wardrobe has much left to be desired and my quilt doesnt really maches my bed sheets that i have. booo hoo how smart can i be..

I love my house except for the shower that has almost zilch pressure. I will survive. I am praying that XY, Kel and Becky get electricity soon. They are really suffering...

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Back in Melbourne

The long hiatus on this blog is finally broken. But i am back in Melbourne. The room of my new home is still in the process of reinventing itself. I need to unpack and pack. Too many cooking stuff i kept and have. :)

Meanwhile, i still haven't uploaded:
Amy's trip to Singapore pics together with CNY at chinatown
My trip to penang.

Realised that i am so unprepared for skool and life back in Aussie. I'm starting to miss home a bit more than last year.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Time for consolidating your gains

A look at the Channelnews Asia feature on the 1997 Asian crisis reminded me of what is happening now: the huge boom. I am definitely not an economist and there is no evidence whatsoever, but well i can only say what comes after a climax is a decline. So maybe it is time to consolidate your gains if you have stocks out there. No one knows what will happen next.

Well consolidating your gains can refer to appreciating what you have. In the less monetary terms: the relationships, love, and family. Well i am glad of the many new friends i made since i came back, indulge in reminiscing the past with good old friends.

Family: well they are always there for me, and i definitely havent done enough for them. It is never enough. We owe our parents too much. They are the ones i am willing to sacrifice for.

Oh yar and photos of the Settlers Cafe with the juniors are up on my Flickr

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The start of my holidays proper.

This blog has not been updated for quite some time, no spice, no interesting stuff.. As we can see, Kerf's life has been stagnant. Monotony has ruled in his mundane working life. As such, he has planned his escape from the retail world. The broad and amazingly interesting world of Retail, for the sake of his rest and relax he needs for his holiday.

The Retail world: you never know what it really is till you experienced it. The cut throat competitions among some people, the nice colleagues, the stress of having to meet targets, the sense of disablement when you see the amount of old stock you have to finish pulling out and new stock to put in the miniscule storeroom, all part of the many facets of the retail world.

Some ask me, what have I learnt during this job? Well communication is something i observed very well. The multiple hits and misses during the pitching of sales has taught me how to observe people in such minute detail (a slight twitch of the eyebrow) and at the same time the big picture (body language). People react so differently, some hide their inner thoughts that affect their actions and speech so well that it's scary. You can assess how much people are actually interested in buying stuff u sell. Well some are so subtle that it is almost instinctive to pick up and i therefore have no idea how to explain them.

I met many interesting people along the way. There are the hot babes that i click so well with, and are filthy rich and about 2-3 years older, to the blardy irritating pest of this world non-stop-complainers that i have to say sorry to for something i have not done. You learn a huge chunk. From discussing about the casinos springing up soon, to the 5 million shares my customer bought and which stocks to buy. Met many lawyers, and huge huge numbers of bankers and investors that talk by the millions on the phone. The gays, the lesbians, the hot mommas, the couple that changed together in 1 fitting room...

Well for those who i have not met since i came back, i promise to try meeting u after i end my job. So dun be surprised if i go knocking on ur door in the mth of Feb. And think i will make a few cakes along the way, so some of you will be lucky to have cake in ur mouth with the honour of kerf visiting you. wahaha

Thursday, January 18, 2007

So i got a new camera

Yes i got it at last. And a tat too soon, as someone offered me a deal $21 cheaper. damn...

Well took quite many fotos recently, on my way to work, to events like the Aussie Med students gathering at Marriot Hotel organised by Sing Health.

Realised that i got loads and loads to learn still for composing pictures. A quote from the book MJ bought me for my bdae (yes MJ i am reading it at last): "What makes a picture good is what happens before the shutter is pressed (composing the picture), not wat happens during or after."

I am quiting my job on 31st January. Need to start writing my resignation letter. Loved working there, the staff there is so nice. GO TO RAOUL @ HITACHI TOWERS! lol Kamal, Linda, Karin, had loads and still having lots of fun with them. Hope my pay comes through this time. Or i think some legal action can be taken. Wahaha.

Got my air ticket liao. Flying on 22 FEB. 11+pm SQ