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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Life without time for myself

It's been real real tiring. Life without internet or something above 56kbps is real irritating. i busted my internet quota of a miserly 250mb on my broadband and am now relegated to using 56kbps. That is if i hae time or energy to come online in the first place.

Work has been well... mundane. though i get to learn how to communicate and appease disturbing or disturbed customers. There was this one that came in when we werent that busy and spent 1 hr talking to me. It was a guy. Some of my friends think he was there to pick me up... maybe he was disturbed... When i am done with work i squeeze some time after work which is 8pm to hang with some friends, to the disappointment of my family that expects me to stay home. There was salsa every wed that i had to rush to without having dinner. Now there is going to union square Friday nights to salsa with the bunch that i learnt with. It was nice to see Rong yao and his friends that day. And the nights that i spent practicing salsa with Xinyi and her friends.

I need to get the number of potong pasir cc soon. i always end up gg there for archery when they are not open and end up going back home... Hanged out with my JC classmates at last yesterday at Surf & Turf. Then went for bowling at Marina Square. And after not touching the bowls for a year or more, i conclude that i should stay away from it for probably the rest of my life. I cant bowl for nuts and i broke my thumb nail so badly it bled terribly.

Spending this New Year's eve home with family, trying to tap into other's wireless to get a better internet conection...

A thought about parenting: Many of our parents were in huge families and they didnt get enough atterntion or concern from their parents. There was also not really that much money to get around the 5 to 10 siblings. So as a result, they probably swore to take care of their kids well and make sure they had enough money to provide for them, and not to get too many children as it will reduce the amount on each child. So that is why most of our parents have a maximum of 2 children (also due to the rising costs of bringing up a child), and also that they probably show us so much concern that we feel it's a bit too much some times. Well that only applies to some of us... They still love us.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

About Sunrises

Apparently the immense expense of free time i had on my trip to Penang has triggered much fodder for the 'prolific' blog of mine (thanx again Dinesh) lol. For those who have experienced kerfern's relatively random train of thought: the following should be of no surprise fow fleeting my attention span is for each topic.

I realise that i needed to get a tan, so i went to get it. and i am a bit red from it too. Then one night while i was about to drift into sweet slumber, a flash of thought so quick, an inspiration, a glimpse of what i have yet to realise in my life! Oh it's nothing much actually, just that i have taken realatively many photos but i havent gottem a proper sunrise through my camera's ccd, though i have a few sunsets. So i vouch that one of the first few photos i am going to take with my soon to arrive Fz50 will be a sunrise. Anyone got lobang for a good location for a sunrise must tell me. Anyone interested in joining me to take also contact me (preferably hot looking, female, and can drive, and HAS a car to drive ;p)

Then i realised that most people i noe at Monash Medicine are first or only borns! here's the tally (got no time to cover all)
first/only borns:

  1. me
  2. jasmine
  3. MJ
  4. Rebecca
  5. Kel
  6. Josh
  7. Ling
  8. Kary
  9. Xin Yi
  10. Melanie i tink
  11. Melissa (she has a brother and has migrated to the following list) (thanx becky for reminding me)
  12. Jonathans, yes all 3 of them
  13. Ethan
  14. and think still got others, those i left out are not intetional, i'm in a hurry yar

Those not that i squeezed my head and extracted that are not:

  1. John Lee weichern
  2. Jeff
  3. ... And my brain power diminishes to zilch

NOW ever wonder why plastic surgeons are called plastic surgeons? do they actually use plastics or polymers all the time to stitch people up? That was another question i had while lying on my bed with a poolside view in Penang. So i checked it up and the reason for the naming is: The word "plastic" derives from the Greek plastikos meaning to mold or to shape; its use here is not connected with the synthetic polymer material known as plastic. Well shihui said, dont all surgeons mold anyway? i suppose we do.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Happy Birthday to Stephie

Yes it was a fantastic party. Got to meet up with many classmates for the first time since i came back. Too bad some didnt make it. Loved hs lil cousin Kevin, apparently we hit it off quite nicely, got to know him quite well.

My meagre number of photos i took at the party are up on my Flickr. No thanks to my half charged battery and my incapability to get my new caera over the weekend.

For those who are still not sure what was the gift we gave Steph:

Looking forward to seeing more classmates who were missing in action last night. On both 20th ant 30th Dec. Though many will be away soon.

  1. Mel is away for exchange in Australia till 10th Jan
  2. Pema going France for a semster, leaving on 1 Jan, for a sem. France tt's like how cool!
  3. Steph leaving for US, leaving on 29th Dec i think, for a sem
  4. Aik Heng also going to US but dunno when.
  5. Shihui gg for hols till January
  6. JR and El gg off too
  7. Yiting the cheenapok at China, cheenaing

And I will be off fo rPenang tmr. But will be back on Saturday. So hoping i can get my camera today. They ran out of stock on Saturday. Cathay photo raised their price so i am not buying from them. So i am now getting from 'Shop-Right Electronics' at Orchard Towers.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Half marathon post mortem

I am suffering. My quadriceps are aching from the run. Now my feet are aching from standing the whole day. Well no pain no gain, feel kinda satisfied i finished the Standard Charted Half Marathon in 2hrs 29min 32 sec according to my running chip

for those who ram, this is the link to the timings analysis page: http://www.runpix.name/sin06/ge.php
Those who want to see my details my bib is 11415

Archery. It has been 6 years since i shot my last arrow. And my coach still says my from is still there, just that i need a longer bow, i have grown. And well, my upper limb extensors are still aching from 3 hrs of archery on Saturday. Spent like $40 on new equipment, not even upgrading my bow limbs to a longer one yet.

Got a new part timer at my store wa ha ha can tekan! but i being the nice guy that i am, treated her properly. teach her the ropes of being a good part timer. Experiences on the job.
Definition of the epitome of retail therapy: A guy of age mid 30s enters store. He asks what we have. The things that i point at are the things he buy. I had to stop him from buying extra stuff, i have a conscience... In the end he spent $800 but thanx to our promotion vouchers, he paid $120 less. Now that is retail therapy. lol the guy said it himself. Girls go beat that.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Work work work.

Well today is my first day at work. Retail at Raoul Hitachi towers. Standing is a norm i suppose. Steep learning curve. But think i should make it. But i end up too tired to run 10 km everynight which was wat i set out to do in the first place. Well my weekends are off! but guess what they are for: Archery. And maybea bit of a swim. i need a tan!

Pledge my loyalty to archery by suscribing to Potong Pasir CC's arcehry club, only $18 a year membership. Good now got time and place to shoot on weekends. First have to get a new bow string, my old one is a bit frayed. Maybe i'll bring my bow to Australia if i get enough kick out of it agian. Good to see Kim Chow and my coach Mr Lee again. The Marist archery club which i helped setup seems to be doing quite well. Think there is a Marist that went for SEA games.

Tai Chi. Many say it's an old man sport. But i noe other wise. Been learning that ewvery morning at 0630. So shagged. The amount i sweat from 1 hr tai chi is equivalent to running 10km. Go offline at midnight, then wake at 0630, then work from 11 to 8 pm. Late dinner. Go online for a while. and the cycle repeats.

Salsa. Hope i dun step too many feet this Wednesday. Later become serial foot stepper. No one cares if you have 2 left feet, as long as they dun go any wear near the top of their toes. Dance, maybe i actually will get happy feet.

Airticket. A reminder to people heading back to Australia. Book your tickets soon. They are going out quite fast.

Love and life. Miss Ho my first draft should be out soon i hope. Too tired to think. ;p

Cheese cake: The combined power of specialised equipment (not like the anyhow concocted euipment back in australia), my mum and my skill, i announce the successful baking of not 1 but 2 cheesecake. i conclude that my recipe always has extra for another cake. It was for my Dad's birthday! will post some pictures soon.

Camera: for those who also interested in the Panasonic FZ-50. The price is about $850 before GST: including a 512 mb card and the standard pack and 1 yr warranty.
There is a shop at Sim Lim that sells at $650 but only camera, no card, no warranty. How dodgey is that?!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Nice one...

Many thanx to Jeff for setting up THE Monash meddies blog. Hope it will stay alive and provide good sharing of information and ideas!! Go look http://monashmed2010.wordpress.com/

Well i went for my interview at Raoul, the manager said that i will have to wait for the HR department to get back to me. Once again i have to cross my fingers, getting a lil tired of doing that... Thanks to JOHAN for the intro to the job. And thios is a declaration that if i get the job i will give u a good treat. Met John coincidentally at Suntec, well Singapore is small..

Had a bout of Gastroenteritis (food poisoning), well that puts my training for tai chi and running on halt for a while. And so my own food marathon is on halt too... sigh

Sadly, i have to start doing housework again. Starting with the floors... Soon it will al come, windows (i have got too many windows, just a lil short of a glass house), curtains, the aircon, then the toilets, the garden. Well wat to do, no maid and also i am the only child and my parents arent that young anymore.

Should attempt to finish up the notes that i didnt have time to make during exams. before work starts.

Friday, November 17, 2006

So now i'm back...

Back, and the humidity is killing me slowly. Realise that i dunno what to do for the whole period till i go back. I am going back after chinese new year.

Maybe i can get a job, shoot some arrows after a 5yr hiatus from archery. Wonder if my coach still remembers me. Maybe get a attachment to a chinese physician who is my family friend for a bit of accpuncture. Definitely meet friends that i missed so much.

Hopefully, i can convince my parents to let me buy my current favourite camera

Hope section:
i hope that the landlords of my new found house in Oz with Jasmine is not a scam.
i hope that Kary's life will work out.
i hope that i will study what i did not have time to study for my exam
i hope next year i will not end up like this year where i almost not know everything towards the end of the year
i hope that i can get back my AUD$120 from excess baggage
i hope that i can get my Panasonic Fz50
i hope that my hopes and dreams come true

Monday, November 13, 2006

A Touchy issue

It's approaching th end of my trip to Melbourne this year. And i am flying back on 16th night. Houses are a bitch to find. Really proves that u will have to give some to take some.

Gossips afloat. Clear my name? for what. Maybe i dont have any real friends.

Depression: what you feel when u get hurt by someone you really care about. Affects sleep, appetite, speed of thought, speed and enthusiasm of speech.

Sometimes you think that you have the right to be angry at me for the smallest thing in the world. Probably, because i will accept you for the way you are, probably you think it will teach me a lesson. But it totally hurts, and it totally traumatises me, even though you may actually get fun from it. And i somehow wish this can never happen again, whether to severe the friendship, not speak to you when you are around so that i do not say anything wrong, or to just give up.. Words can sound harsh, but actions shatter hearts.

Why are you doing this to me my dear friend. I am disheartened, does our friendship mean nothing to you more than a game to make me depressed.

Caustic humour: a skewed form of humour that uses people around you as a stepping stone to lift yourself up as a clown. The upside: real quick and effective. Downside: considering that it uses people around you and that you insult them, you start losing them if they cant take a joke.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


For once, i do not have a title. as this post is quite random and has no particular will to inform or to educate.

WEll the paper was over so long ago, jsut got too lazy to write a post. The paper went better than expected as i did not study well. Got lucky as they did not ask stuff i did not study. Except for the histology questions.

Been looking for houses. Should be deciding which one soon. OSCEs on WEd. More practice tomorrow at Josh's house.

I feel real lousy when i get people angry.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The day before exam

Realise that i have to still try to study as much as i can, though i cannot finish even 2nd sem. Fever has gone down due to penicillin ingestion courtesy of doc at the campus. Still need a cure for what becky calls hypoinfomia. Think i should be able to pass.

A shout out to those who tagged me:
Karin> thanx babe. help me say hi to kevin too. I am hoping for a bbq this year, but dont get ur hopes high

Rach> wah so many ilu*s that it almost sounds indecent haha. gd luck babe

huis> okay, i changed the font size liao. And anyone out ther who has comments on my layout can tell me

NatW> hey babe, feeling better liao. Thanx. i suppose u are on psych rotation too?

OMGoodness, i get an idea that either 1) only girls read blogs or 2) only girls leave tags when they read blogs
Good luck to all for exams. Yes that includes all the Yr 2 NUS med.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The power of technology...

I am now experiencing tab browsing, and no i have not converted to Firefox yet. I am using Windows live toolbar. The custom button creation is fantastic. At the IE toolbar, i can type what i want to search and click the respective button to search at the different sites. Currently at a touch of the button i can search:

  1. wikipedia
  2. An online medical dictionary
  3. dictionary.com
  4. phazeddl.com
  5. technorati.com
  6. youtube.com

furthermore, i changed the default search from Windows live to Goodtree. But yes, microsoft as they always have been, has some bugs to fix in the toolbar, it causes the IE to hang. So far for the past few days, i have got it hung about 2 times.

Studying: i have not been able to cover as much as i wanted. Too much stress. And i am too far way behind. SEriously the least prepared exam for the whole year. So disappointed in myself. I can do much better than this. Now is just how to salvage the situation, because i am in for a fright when i see the paper on WEd. I can only hope my fever will go away and that i cough less and sleep less. fantastic the monkey mind at work again.

As Calvin and Hobbes depicted. I AM MAKING A MESS OUT OF MY LIFE.


Sunday, October 22, 2006


Interesting note to self:

Someone actually put my Coldplay concert pics up on Coldplay's website. Wow!

And i found out another good use for my 1 metre long Toblerone box which i cannot bear to throw away: my fan speed seector, (yes fan as in the one that blows). Very useful in a screwed up temperature place like melbourne. haha

A Tired Boy

Been tired lately. Laziness, sleep more than study. Well time to awake, and rise to the power i am bequeathed by my advanced mult gyrus, folded large brain which is used like more than 100%. Wahahaha...
B2:Are u thinking what i am thinking B1
B1: i think i am B2. i say kerf has gone mad
B2: indeed...

Thanks Jasmine for that nice and touching post. Another satisfied customer of the Kerf Helpdesk... I just realised that downloading the whole UNSW embryology website was a not so good idea. Good in the sense i got almost everything there in my harddisk, bad that i blew up my wireless bandwidth. i blew it big time alright: in that hour i downloaded more than 2GB... I wonder how screwed am i... For those who dunno, Monash students have a limited 1GB limit for wireless per semster. Yes we are sad people.

And i realised today, so many things a girl has to think about before agreeing to be housemates with others ;) It took my ex-tuition student who is going to take her O levels to wake me up from my surreal prcrastination.

Yes, skool's out. I miss the cadavers already. Say... pass the scalpel..

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Always nice to have a person to share everything with

Well, 2 weeks left to exams, and a week after that to OSCEs, and about a week after, going back home. Yipee! for the last, but glum for the rest.

Well studying has been okays. Okay: a word used to describe the sense that nothing extraordinary has happened, and is well... somewhat normal. This is subjected to people's interpretation. I think i lost myself explaining somewhere.. Have gotten down to studying, but still not as much as i hope for. Wasted the whole of Saturday watching Gundam Seed. haha. 500 GB hard disk, the pinacle of distraction.

Well some say it's just about time to start. FOr those who havent, yes you should. People like Ling, please get a hold of urself, and study. Everything's a facade sometimes, it's alomst impossible to peer into everyones lives. Even if they are close friends.

Always nice... Yes someone to share your ups and downs, it's a good thing or experience to have. And like Weichern's post said, , A Life Without Love is probably a sin. But well all i can say is if u want it, go get it. I probably still am not wanting it enough yet, to sacrifice. Haha, sure sounds selfish, and the irony is you will end up SHARING everything with your other.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Pictures for Med Ball and my Birthday celebration up, And the Mid autumn fest too!

The limo ME and the cake
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

Chinny chin chin
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
Go Look! The mid Autumn Festival ones are nice! real Lovely. Think thes best eva i tell u.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Mid Autumn Festival

The Haze is getting to everybody in Singapore. Maybe it's the lanterns for the fest.

A few of us had a fantastic time for the festival. John, Kelvin, Xinyi, Jason Nutter(an ex-marist) and Me. We had a fantastic time by the lake from like 1 am till like 3 am. Had fantastic photos. Eat mooncake, look at the moon, talk to a drunk Scottish exchange student, had "A walk to remember" round the lake with 2 lanterns. Moon music like chinese and english songs that had anytihing to do with the moon. Took photos of the stars. With sparklers too. So cold, Xinyi was shivering, poor girl. Photos soon.

Regret and Faux Pas

A word, a phrase, a sentence, a thought. So subtle, yet so lethal, so powerful to invoke sleep deprivation, strong emotions of disappointment, or even fear and sadness. A tear almost dropped at how disappointed i was in myself. Some say i am perceptive, some dispute that say that i am blunt and not street-smart and blur and not good at negotiating... Well i think i need to think more before i speak, before i start making more people feel bad, sad, dissapointed. In future, some may even kill themselves if i say something wrong. No room for error. I should take more control in my life: including my speech and actions.

Well i had a resoultion with the duality in my mind today, that i have watched enough of episodes of Alias, and other procrastinations for me to start work. Full steam ahead, hope i do not lose steam or burn myself out to soon. Exams coming. Time to rock and roll.

Meanwhile in the vincinity of 'Happy land': a strange and bright storm of delgihtfullness has come and passed:
We had a stupendous, stupefying, spectacular, special night at Med Ball last night. A huge photo hunt for people whom u noe and to snap with them. Got a ride from a limousine that was sponsorred by JEM + Me for a memorable time for the girls and us. Made so many girls happy. Realise how pretty girls can be at an event like this, it like... brings out the inner beauty in their exterior facades. A night where i discovered jealousy is a sign of selfish love and liking. A ball that did not give you the option to choose chicken or beef, just gave you in random alternation. Spent so much money that i feel guilty when i told my father that. I get reminded that i am not that rich. And someone knows my fear of spending...

It was an okay night at the after party. Clubbed, drank a shot. Well sorry Josh that we had to leave early, we had a limo waiting.. It was crowded, no space to dance properly. Remembered how girls are willing to sacrifice their feet just to look sexier, more alluring with their 3 inch, 2 inch heels. I salute them man. Now they have to nurse their blisters...

Why does The Scientist sound so nice? Because i am sorry, for not telling what it realy is, what i really think, feel and want. I desire melancholy, sad is the new happiness. And i go crazy, pondering what to do, what to want to, but yet not do. haha and i laugh at how the duality in my mind screws each other, and yet not sustain any injuries as they are just an entity of my energy and thoughts. Compartmenalising emotions is just a lie, a sad sad lie. Wahaha. Does anyone out there actually has the desire for just a loving touch, not sex, but just a nice hug to warm a face to a smile. A nice sweet smile straight from the heart.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


Think i need help. A 500GB has just made my life worse. So for those who hate people who whine or sulk or complain or bitch on my blog: please refrain from reading on, or you may puke blood and drink it back to preserve your own pathetic life of reading blogs to get to know someone for their bright side and not their sad side and the side that actually wishes someone to hold their hand. Well here goes nothing, dun say i didnt warn you.

Well a week of holidays had passed, a hope to finally catch up with my work, a hope to actually lessen my anxieties, a hope to gain control again of my life. Well it is now all lost, all of it. It's the last 13 mins of the holidays and i have effectively wrote only a little bit of descriptive epidemiology notes, thats all, period. No i did not study any other thing, havent touched my Moore's since the Vetebra coloumn that day (yes for those who think i am kidding, i did not even touch it for mid-sem exams) and well the rest is just terrible.

What's worse, though my mid sem exam results were not bad, they are a terrible gauge of what i am in, as this terrible form of loss of control in my life only took effect after the exams. So i know that my actual power now is much lower than what was reflected in my results. But well, i may have formative OSCEs tmr, but i havent touched anything on it. lol

Some thik that i am smart enough to catch up. Well first i am not that smart, second, even if i am ,i have to actually do something before i can actually extract knowledge from this airy world and that includes actually reading..

Hope i snap out of it NOW! screams and cries... well maybe i should get delusional or schizo or depressed for some of u to do a MSE on me. Well i will never give up. Stop u blardy monkey mind, always prancing around, looking for the next distraction. Motivation, how to be what i want to be if i get distracted so easily.

Maybe i should lose some slepp to punish myself, my body already doing half of it by getting sick, enter Sinusitis. I love myself. Enough i hope.

Friday, September 29, 2006

My 21st

The Card 2
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

So, a long overdue, late post, almost 1 weeks already. Pictures for the celebration with the Monash Meddies, will come slightly later. Havent got it from them yet. I would like to thank all of u for celebrating my bdae with me.

The photos of all the gifts are on Flikr, so go see them, got interesting coments in there.

The celebration: MY bdae was on Sat, and on Wed, John asked me to join him for dinner, we were supposed to be having it just with each other. Then Saturday came and John delayed the time to meet up for dinner a few times. Suspicious. Well we took a bus to clayton. He "suggested" that he wanted to eat korean food. So i recommended him 2 places at Clayton. I wanted to go to another, but it didnt take him much effort to convince me to go to where he wanted. As usual i am easygoing, I WAS EXPLOITED lol.

So then as we went up the flight of stairs at the restaurant, there they all were. In the restaurant waiting for me. A yum seng that made the whole restaurant look at us... It was a fantastic meal, thanks for the treat guys, and it ended off with a cheesecake from the shop i always wanted to try, so John remembered... Too bad he's attached wahahaha.

I was bombarded by the sheer size and number of gifts.

I would seriously say it was a plan flawlessly executed. But i had some suspicions along the way:

  1. When John called me for dinner, well it's quite unlikely that it would be just him and me
  2. On Friday night itself, Roberts hall had phototaking. I had to convince MJ to go for it as he was a little reluctant to. Then he agreed to go down with what he was already wearing: which was something quite nice; wear so nice go where? ;p
  3. Then Jeff and MJ told me they were going mess hall. And it was not only once. lol. So desperately trying to throw me off guard. And if they were really going mess hall, why MJ wear so nice before even wanting to go for photo taking.
  4. Then John tried to stall time, maybe it was because not everyone was there.
  5. Then at the bus stop with john, forgot what we were talking about, then i being my random self say i want to call Kelvin to confirm. That got John a lil gan cheong. haha

Well thats about all folks. Keep your eyes peeled for more photos. Should be up by weekend.

Bought a 500GB hard disk. And now i spent too much time on it. Havent touched my books at all. Die liao. 30 days to exams! Oh and i cut my hair, looks kinda funky it should since it costs $28. lol Just need to find a suit for med ball..

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Happy Birthday to the Gal

I purposely, posted this at the last minute of your birthday. Usually people lose sleep to wait to wish birthdays the first minute of the day. But i do it last..

Well dearest Shihui! Have a happy one. Can see that u liked the suicide rabbits, hope u liked the mini letter i wrote u. Waiting impatiently for your card. Hope it actualy reaches.

I wonder has anyone hit beyond your $300 mark specifically someone. =p Keep in touch and i quote " huis! happy funky 21st baby :D stay HOT!" lol

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Mr KCYY said that anger should be considered as a motivator with the likes of Fear, Love and desire for comfort. Well anger, ever wondered what is it?

Here is my dissection of anger:

Anger an emotion expressed by many who do not bother to use a facade or mask to maintain composure to be well liked. It is expressed in situations of hurt, or hate. Mostly, it stems from disappointment or disgrace. I will attempt to show you that it is not a base emotion but derives from some of the original 3 i dictate.

Being hurt by someone (emotionally) and disappointment, derives from love of that person, like a parent disappointed that the child is homosexual. Hate, is a complex one, why do we hate people or things? It is a strong dislike, and why do we dislike? The person or object of dislike is something that we may fear causing us harm (like u hate cacti because they poke u), or simply something that does not suit our eye (u hate lime green), where suiting our taste is something that makes us feel comfortable. Then there is hate that derives from love: (you hate people who eat lobsters especially the real red ones because you love sea creatures)

So there you have it, a feeble attempt at explaining anger, and where it comes from.

On a side note, I got some cadaver juice on my lips today, EWWWWWWW, so i got back at the cadaver by dislocating his hip. Thanks Joshua for his help, when most of my group lost hope in dislocating it, even my tutor Aki was more interested in talking to a co-worker, about someone's death. Or maybe she was confident that we will get it done anyway. So maybe orthopedic surgery, well i dunno.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Distraction: a road to self discovery

I get distracted a tat too easily. here's the lists of distractions: bejeweled, msn, anime: naruto, bleach, tv shows: The OC, sleep.

I have decided to actually explore why i get distracted. First, what am i distracted from.

  1. Catch up with past 2 weeks stuff
  2. Assignment due on 22 Sept
  3. Packing my room
  4. Filing my stuff: which is now a lot...
  5. Backing up my computer

Think there shold be other stuff that are less important. Well now to why?

We have not many motivators in life: Fear, Love, Desire for comfort. Think that sums it up. Fear as someone said 'is the worst motivator for any action or inaction', it is however a powerful one, sure we all feel it the day before exam. Love, the motivator that is even more powerful; fear is a self-protective motivated motivator, while love is a self-sacrificing motivator. To be willing to sacrifice, is to give your all, all your power, not like fear which is just to dodge death or evil consequence.

Then there is the desire for comfort. The theory of why we are doing what we have been doing all our lives, to conform to society, to improve ourselves by studying, working to get food on the table, to get a better life for us, our parents, our future family, is all but a desire of comfort. In the examples listed, there are some actions that have multiple motivators like family support, is both love and the desire for comfort.

The desire for comfort is not necessarily a bad thing: but it stems out a few characteristics that are well-hated, ill-liked; laziness: the desire for short term comfort, so much so that you dont want to do anything that has to move your tendon or neuron; procrastination: putting off prioty stuff just for a moment of lack of work, or for a moment of relaxation.

Distraction: is but a combination of laziness and procrastination, the desire to put away stress by ignoring the already high stacking pile of work. The desire to waste away time and relax, while still having a huge bubble behind that progresses slowly in eating your constant thoughts: that the work is piling up, that escapism is only temporary, that if you carry on, you are going to crash. CRASH! BADLY, maybe even never get to have an active neuron again. death.

So this post is a line i draw on my road. To end this misery of distractions, to stop this childish nonsense, i can almost see depression setting in, maybe i'm bipolar like 2 people told me before. Haha, maybe i'll go mad. But to end off, not in a further form of escapism, but with facing the MUSIC. If only i could play some. Haha. Die! let the desire to escape die! Wahahaha!

Haha, so in the end the need to disarm my DISTRACTIONS is due to fear of failure, and also for a desire for a greater comfort in the future, and for the love of my parents who sent me here, also the fear of disappointment of my parents, and my own disappointment. Fearing fear itself i see..

Sunday, September 03, 2006

What is love?

A question so many ask, and if u were paid a quadrillionth of a cent for every time some one thinks of it, you would probably still be a millionaire. But yet, it is a feeling, something so deep in the body feeling, so far from logic sometimes, that we cannot express it in words. For i personally cannot express what it is.

But here, i now portray love in a few lines of excert from 'About a Boy', starring Hugh Grant. For those who have not yet seen it, it's about how a 12 year old boy, Marcus, got to get close to Will (Hugh Grant), a 38 year old man, and they became friends. This part probably captures this quintessence of "What is Love?"

Marcus: What's the difference between a girl who's your friend and a girlfriend?

Will: Well, I don't know. Do you want to touch her?

Marcus: Is that so important?

Will: Yeah, you've heard about sex, right? It is kind of a big deal.

Marcus: I know. I'm not stupid.
I just can't believe there's nothing more to it.
I mean, like, I want to be with her more. I want to be with her all the time.
And I want to tell her things I don't even tell you or Mum.
And I don't want her to have another boyfriend.
If I could have all those things...
...I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.

Saturday, August 26, 2006


So i received a gift or 2 for no apparent rhyme or reason (no it's not my birthday yet). Which inspired me to write a post about it.

I can't remember a gift i last received from someone other than family. Sounds sad, but yeah i get by. (it's the lack of memory that is sad, not the lack of gifts)

So like i said to someone. There can be only a few reasons why a female friend will give u a gift, not an extraordinary one, but just something simple: the reasons are ranked from most likely to least likely.

  • She knows your birthday is around the corner and gives you an early gift, but has not enough money to buy a proper gift, but still wants to show that she appreciated your friendship
  • She just wants to see you smile. Cheer someone up everyday. Now that is a nice little girl.
  • She actually feels philantrophic, probably inspired from the world's best selling book, or it just came from the heart," hello, this is your heart speaking, give something to someone today and maybe you will be pardoned for what you did yesterday."
  • She has a list of things to do before she dies. And 1 of them is to give something to someone you hate to the guts
  • She has too much stress from life, e.g. exams, and has decided to give some random friend a gift so that there is some time off life to get to converse with that random friend
  • She is in a plot to keep you wondering what the hell is the reason she gave you something. And it will confuse him even more with a megawatt smile.
  • She likes you and wants to express it in a form of a gift, but has no monies to buy you a princess cut ring from Lee Hwa Jewellery which is 6000 km away, though the ring probably costs more than the flight.
  • Keep your friends close and enemies closer

Disclaimer: The above is a narration of the consequence of simple actions that hits a perceptive mind that incessantly speculates reasons behind actions, compounded by the need to be distracted during stressful times. The consequence is a string of thoughts that are totally illogical and loose linked, a pre-empt to possible thought disorders or paranoia. But i always mean what i say, just that what i say is interpreted differently between me and most people.

It is just so cool to play with people's minds.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Friends and then love.

Friends are nice things to have, chances to open up, chances to make us not so insular, chance to be lovers, chance to love not as lovers, chance to share, chance to actually take care of someone, chance to be there for someone else. My father said sometimes friends should just be viewed as tools to help you succeed. Well i would hate to do that to my friends, almost seem to make them inanimate, stepping stones, like investments. Why can't the world just value relationships more.

Then there is the perpetual problem of good friends that are of the opposite sex. There is supposedly an impossibility that they actually do not fall in love. At least, a girl told me that before. Well, here's what i think: we find it difficult to differentiate expression of love and friendship. After all, close friends love each other and will do anything for each other.

For opposite sex friends to get close, the actions usually meant for close friends get interpreted as actions of love. That is when confusion starts, clearly you like each other at least as friends. But what distinguishes the 2 is probably romance, but... it is so nice to just see a girl get amazed and surprised when you surprise her with something, even if she is a friend... Is that only just for the girl you love, or friends too. And maybe get accused of sending the wrong signals. I think I probably can't really diffferentiate the 2. Haha, so girls i know out there better becareful.

But I changed for someone. If someone inspires you to change, someone actually able to make you want to go against that immense inertia to change, do you love her? You taught me so much. I thank you. But you can only guess if it is you...

Love: just like what Ethan quoted, and also what was in "A Walk to Remember"(watched it last night, blardy tear jerker):
1 Corinthians 13:4 to 8a.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.

Like what Snow Patrol dictated in Chasing Cars, "those 3 words, are said too much, they're not enough"

Monday, August 14, 2006

Time stands for that moment

Sometimes we need a sudden stillness of time to let us think through, to let that 3 ton lorry crash through your mind to actually let the obvious surface. Like trapping in an elevator...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

How I know the exams are nearby

How i know the exams are nearby:

  1. I start to get more attached to my bed
  2. I start getting more attached to the internet: KEEP OPENING internet explorer to see stuff i just saw bout 2 secs earlier
  3. Distracted. Much more than usual, By the heart, by the mind, but my conscience is gagged and tied up in some closet
  4. Time passes so fast that i can't name things i did today
  5. Indulgence. in any pleasurable form of distraction: Super crunchy peanut butter, orisinal.com
  6. physiologically: My ear tips start turning red, my sinuses start to get inflammed: hypersensitivity due to lowered immune system due to stress due to lack of studying for exam
  7. start writing crap about the world and relationships

Here goes nothing:

It's interesting how human interaction or the lack thereof which causes a sense of isolation is determined by the relationships of people involved. E.g. odd person with 2 couples in a dining area. Next is positioning: You get more interaction if you are literally at the centre of the group, center of attraction.

How much you want to interact with people is determined by how insecure you are. Interaction creates relationships which you will deem essential for social stability and security. If you are totally secure and at peace, you do not need people, just silence alone is beautiful enough.

Flawful points of social interactions... I promise to study hard after this post and after i cook my pasta for dinner.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Edwin's Beloved Grandma passed on

Just caught wind that my good buddy Edwin Yang's Grandma passing away. My sincere condolences. Remember if you need anyone to talk to at least i am here. This goes out to you too Rachel. Take care of yourselves. Life has to go on.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The Druze

For those who do not know, most Muslims in Lebanon are not actually pure muslims but rather Druze. Mano from Monash Medicine whom i met at Cohuna told me so.

Cohuna> turn left turn right, the middle of no where, in the middle of the night

Missing in action for the past week as i was at a rural placement for my Med course. A week of excitement warrants a LONG post.

I went to Cohuna with 11 other people, of which Kelvin was the other Singaporean and there was one more guy, Mano, who was Lebanese. So... 9 girls to 3 guys, too bad the guys stayed separate from the girls...

We visited 1 hosptial in Kerang, which was a better equiped one than in Cohuna. It was frustrating to hear that the government only gave $600, 000 while the 2000 population came up with $1 million, for the rebuilding of the hospital.

There were no doctors that were constantly stationed in the hospitals due to the lack of rural doctors. When a patient is admitted, then the GPs were called from their private practices to the hospital. There were only visiting specialists that visited about once a week. So any thing serious, the patients have to go to Bendigo Hospital, a larger hospital or catch a helicopter to Melbourne Hospital.

The most interesting part of the trip was my 'home-based' care visit. Others go to explore the services by going to patients houses. But mine was to go to a nature reserve. Yes! i was shocked. There, Esther, a renowned Aboroginal artist, top 10 in Australia, was our guide to the reserve. Her grand niece, Raye Raye was the cutest girl i have ever seen. She taught us how to make foot prints of animals and a baby foot steps. What was disturbing was when she said the best cure for snake bites and poisoning is WHISKEY! Maybe we should have corrected her, she could have saved another life.

Then after, Megan, Rasha, Steph and I played with some kids from an Aborogines family over a BBQ. I learnt a little footy from a guy. Whom i later found out actually was a professional player. He must have been so frustrated everytime i kicked the ball, it went up or totally far away... The kids were extremely fun to play with, they were like less than 5 years. Some were like chasing the ball, accidentally kicking it and so goes the neverending chase.

It was only after they left, that the manager of the Northern District Community Health Service, told us that actually the kids all had some form of abuse or another. The twins were born heroin addicts as their mom was one. The others had family problems. They are in the 'Many Children' program, a support service for drug, alcohol abuse and family abuse.

It's amazing how much service they actually provided. I don't think i see any kind of this kind of service in Singapore. Last but not least, I had the company of 11 other great people. They were all damn fun to hang, though think frequently, Kelvin and I were like: we're a little old for this... lol

The trip ended with a great Dinner with John and the monash meddies at Grand Tofu. Woot! the Curry Yong Tau Hoo damn ZAI!

Happy Birthday Buddy!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A good Read from a good Friend

For those who know him, they know him for his literary prowess: Moses Tan. Future lawyer. Fantastic writer. If you got time. I recommend his 3 articles on his blog. He's one of my exit links. Go check it out.

Sydney 5 July till 12 July, Period where i got to noe my friends better

First i would like to thank my friends yes all 4 of you, who went to Sydney together. Got to know all of you better. Especially Jasmine and Ming Jian, both of which i got to know much better in the holidays. Worked, Cooked, opened up to each other: almost peering into each other's inards. Ethan and XY: thanx for being there and making it a nice trip.

Snuffles though inanimate (Refer to Xin Yi's Blog for a pic of Snuffles), made alive by the imaginaions of Xin Yi who's obsessed that she's Snuffle's mum, brought us much pleasure. Nope it was not a sex toy, it was just a faithful companion for us to share the nice sunsets, sunrises, sun over heads(especially since all of us couldn't share it with our lovers or rather some didn't have lovers to begin with) sigh...

Well well. Now that the characters are introduced, here's the story:
MJ, XY and Ethan went to Sydney first on Monday, 3 July for Hillsong Conference. For those who do not know, it's a christian conference. Jasmine and I then arrived subsequently on 5 July. Apparently our accomodation in a backpacker's hotel is actually located in the middle of King's Cross, something like our Geylang, just that they have more peep show shops, and there is no you tiao or nice food there other than my favourite kebab.

So Jas and I went to the Hillsong Night Rally on Wed. Which was a bad idea. No! not a bad idea to go there, just the wrong day to go. We should have went for the last night on Friday instead. Now, note that Jas and I aren't particularly christians but we just go lookie, and for me, well i'm still not a christian. It was my first experience of Charismatic worship. Extremely exciting! Amazing how the voice of 1 person can move the thousands of people. I literally felt the highs and lows, the energy level was obvious to me, since i am quite sensitive to energies. When the energy level hit its highest, i was having shots of shocks up my spine to my feeling body, can feel the amount of energy exuding due to the willingness for all the people to open up and give. It's fantastic. How amazing how a few people can lift the spirits of so many.

So then i spent the next few days with Jasmine around Sydney, from Thursday to Friday to be precise. We went Many places together, and we shot at the world like we never saw the world b4. Almost leaving every stone turned just by taking pictures. But well we're rewarded with fantastic pictures. Go to Jasmine's blog to see her pics. I bought a Mambo lime green polo tee and Jasmine in the end bought a piece from Mambo too. We also spent almost one whole day finding a pair of shades for Jasmine. Who call her to grow up with a small face, so difficult to find, have to satisfy so many criteria, like look for boyfriend like that. But in the end, she got it. We probably had the best time at the Botanical gardens. Attempting to capture the smile evoking surroundings. So beautiful. Then as according to plan, we managed to see the sunset behind the Opera house and Sydney harbour bridge, so beautiful but got no lover to share with again. sigh.. Darling Harbour had a nice sunset too. But the sunrise from our hotel was only okay, colours were there, but couldn't see the sun, and clouds were hiding it.

As usual Ker Fern's memory fails and bits and pieces comes from all places.

So the 5 of us, at last united, went for tour together. Bondi Beach was fun, at last could smell the sea, and see waves big enough for a surf. Beautiful water, so blue, so white the froth. Then Watson's Bay. Watson's bay was probably the most beautiful place. We walked around 6 km from Bondi to Watson's bay, long but not long enough to tire, had so much on-road entertainment, and tiredness was diverted away by our sheer amazement as we see the sun gradually setting through peeps of it on open streets. Then we arrived at the park. Dunno wat park, but there i saw a rebroadcast station for a live feed for footy, talked to those chaps for a while. The highlight was the sunset and the swing! At last i got to sit on the swing, yes i had a deprived childhood. We got pictures of each other on the swing with the sun setting behind the opera house and bridge under us while swinging. Look at the pictures and you'll see what i mean.

Watson's bay beauty by day, by night, it still mesmerises. We were all late, for dinner, and were hurrying down this road with us still taking pictures of stars, and remenants of the setting sun. Then came the lighthouse. The one that stirred the spontaneity in both Xin Yi and I to go explore this vast lush green land (which by now is pitch dark) by the lighthouse. Oh my, the expanse was huge, so huge i wished i was there just an hour earlier.
And the stars! So bright in the sky, it would be a photographer's paradise; to sit there and capture the stars as they fly by through the night. And wake up in the morning to get the sun rise against this lush greenery, with the lighthouse on the edge, the sea i view. At least i got my friends to share this moment with me.

Both Xin Yi and I took too long to admire, it probably caused irritation to the hungry souls waiting for us, good thing Ethan was there to remind us to go back. Mesmerising, one of the finest moments in life it was. Amazing how the different scenes of the place just flashed by me. If only i could stay there for the night, too bad stars can't fill my tummy. I will come back to that exact spot when i get my dSLR, if i get it, probably bring a tent along.

Had dinner at Doyle's. As fine as seafood can ever be served. Met a bunch of kids at a playground in ROBERTSON park, the horny kids bubbling with raging hormones were spouting out sexual connotations and teaching us the 'popcorn trick'. And they are about 14 years old.

For those who do not know the popcorn trick here is an attempt to recreate the explanation brought forth to us by these kids in the most decent of ways (not recommended for people who are not so openminded): the setting is a couple at the movies, and the move is initiated by the male counterpart by firstly buying a tub of popcorn, he has to cut a hole at the bottom of the tub, so he has to bring a pair of scissors or blade along. In the midst of the movie, he extend his organ of copulation through the hole into the tub, effectively defiling the popcorn. This is when he initiates a converstaion with his partner whether male or female, where he instigates the partner to reach for more popcorn, and reach deep. The curious partner will then reach in and discover an anomaly in the tub. To which further reaction is subject to the partner's openess of mind and lust. i.e. the guy may get slapped by the partner.

So now back to the story at hand. Some time later, we went to Darling Harbour again, hope it was not too sian for Jasmine, the sun was not right but caught reflection of the purple clouds against the window of a restaurant. Went to Hay Street, Chinatown, where MJ and Ethan lost to little kids at Time Crisis 4, can't blame them, they're seasoned players. And i agree with Xin Yi, She said there got more Hot guys. I had my eyes on a many hot girls too. lol. Then at night we had 'Korean' BBQ according to Jasmine's Roy, but it was actually Japanese. Sumptuous food, beef galore. Green tea ice cream, a new obsession.

We watched World Cup Finals in a bar just beside our Hotel. Apparently we got free VIP status and got free drinks ranging from wine to water, of which they all took soft drinks while i got a beer and also free pizza. Zidane... France... Sigh...

We went for Blue Mountains. Still pissed at the bus driver for not letting us bring our Mac breakfast up the bus though we secretly did in the end. Opened the windows and took shifts to eat, so we can observe whether the bus driver was looking at us, and prevent the smell from infiltrating the rest of the bus. Wel it was fun, took many pictures, 3 sisters + the 2 hot babes = 5 sisters. The wild forest reminded me of army and jungle topo. The Candy Shop, too funky for the faint-hearted, a must stop if you go blue mountains, Pictures available.

The next thing i remembered was the Krispy Kreme's at Sydney airport. Bought a box for Karmun, Who's flying off tmr actually. Sad... Krispy Kremes, a fad, a taste of it's own kind, was a fantasy, still craving for it, unhealthy, wish some people in Singapore could get to taste it.

Not much of a story. Think my brain's a swiss cheese, too many holey parts, lack of memory, just plain lazy brain. Thanks to all the Chio Bus and Yan Daos who posed for my photos and endured my commands to stay in a certain beautiful position to capture. Rambles period.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Coldplay Twisted Logic

So a post 17 days Late. IT was my first concert, the kind possibly classified as rock concert, though think they are classified as alteranative rock. Was extremely excited. Furthermore, had the most interesting friends to go with, Kary, Jereme, Dinesh and Jan. For those who know me in biomed quiz: yes it's the Dinesh that said pneumothorax when we were presenting our PBL on peptic ulcer.

The concert started with Youth Group warming us up. And well i guess i dun noe much of their music. Except their resing of Forever Young. And we waited soooo long for Coldplay to actually come out after them. Noticed that Chris Martin's MTF on his piano (see my photos) which is actually Make Trade Fair. And the ignorant me dun noe anything bout it, while Kary knew well what it was.
Seeing them do their sound check, and all the equipment shifting and setting up, sure did remind me of the good old days of P.A. Crew. Sure miss those times and people, where i got to see free concerts.

So it started. WE were standing about 4 rows from the stage. The lighting effects were amazing, Lasers used in Clocks, The large screen behind used for almost every song. and the play of shadows, creations of silhouettes. Music: need i say anything. It was the closest i got to Coldplaying ever, live music. A chance to hear our own voices at times. It was stupendous, it was stupefying, it was perfect. Many times a zap of excitement sprints doen my spine, almost tingling and numbing. The songs were mostly from X any Y, but had the few older ones: Yellow, The Scientist, A Rush of Blood, and many i can't remember. Yellow had massive yellow baloons running down the audience. Yes, it's in theis pic i took.

It was in the end topped off with Kylie Minogue's Can't Get You Out of My Head. Looking forward to my next concert. What ever it is...

Go Look at my videos and Photos, Credits for some pictures and videos go to Dinesh. My Camera ran out of battery while i was recording The Scientist. This is dedicated to those who like The Scientist and Yellow especially to Shihui, (wish u were here to see Coldplay too):


The Scientist


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A pre-coldplay post post, pre sydney post. Post Life of 3.1415926536, and post Short History of Nearly Everything

If u get the title, U're either a genius that understands anything anyway or u actually understand my random stringing of words together that has sense but probably grammatically so wrong that i would disappoint Mrs Koh (my GP tutor). As u can tell i am a little off today.

Apologies for not being able to post anything substantial for The Coldplay Concert. I did the best of things to do... Forgot to bring spare batteries to my already dying camera. So i need to rely on Dinesh's photos and VIDEOS which i have yet to get. Will do a proper post for that

Working has got me thinking and mentally enhanced. Why? u might ask? marking papers, staring at the computer screen, continuous incessant noise of muse clicking actually stimulates brain cells? There was so little brain actiity that we seriously had problems staying awake. Kary's Audio books, a life saver. They kept me company. Being the infrequent reader that i always have been, it's amazing that i actually finish 'reading' 2 books. Through my iPod nano. First Short History of Nearly Everything then Life of Pi (aka 3.1415926536)

Short Hist: Got me high at first with the abstract physics, (for those who do not know, i actually like abstract physics a lot, enough for me to consider a career in it before), then it was a steep decline of interest after. Chemistry was not so bad. Then came the dinosaurs, and worse: taxonomy. There is actually more than a chapter on taxonomy. How can they talk so much about name calling... Well i learnt a lot i guess, but it kept me awake at least.

Life of Pi: Interesting relapse of Robinson Sucroe, Crusoe whateva. The tale of a whole book of lies. Ship wreck. Not really lies as metaphors used too literally. Go read. It ain't too bad, Just that it couldn't keep me awake most of the time and i have to interject it with some Likin Park or Eminem to give my consciousness a few light face slaps to keep me clicking.

Oooh! and did i mention i actually met Jake the presient of the Singapore Students Association of Victoria (SSAV). He was at the computer beside me. I also met NorWind, Funky name for a malaysian girl. Got their contacts.

Enough! I need to go pack. 2 hours to leave for Sydney and i dun have anything in my bag other than my underwear. Ta ta for now

~brought to u by the letter C (for Coldplaying is cooler than Qoo)~

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I will not tag someone...

XIUWEN! Why did u do this to me! haha. well here goes the post that stops here, no more propagation no more harmed victims. First time i do this kinda stuff, but all u readers out there, if u want to do it, just go ahead. Now, now, dun complain that i'm not sporting. I just dun realy like chain mail and this kind of stuff all together. Everyone's entitled to an opinion right? And posts like this are like tearing the clam shells apart of me that i have been sometimes trying to shut so tightly... Things like this always ask bout favourites. It suddenly occur to me that, i've been sailing through life without much favourites... Just taking things as they come along, occasionally and i really mean occasionally actually label some inanimate as a favourite. No wonder i actually have difficulty deciding whether i actually like a person. Wow, i'm wierd.

1. Do the following WITHOUT complains

2. Choose 5 person to do this after you completed yours(I will not)

3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this. (i will not)

Favourites Favourite Colour: Green...Favourite Food: anything cooked with love, from a sandwich (theoretically not cooked) to a 10 course dinner to my crystal jade timsum. Favourite Song: Wherever You will Go (The Calling), The Scientist (Coldplay) Favourite Movie: Before Sunset Favourite Sport: Archery (but i probably totally can't shoot after so many years) Favourite Day of the Week: Monday (just bcos everybody hates it) Favourite Season: Seasonal Affective Disorder Favourite Ice Cream: Ice cream is ice cream, love every type of it.

Currents Current Mood: Psyched, Just watch Tokyo Drift in MJ's Room Current taste: Yogurt, just finished 1 litre of Vanilla Yogurt Current Clothes: shorts and a VJ 02 orientation tee Current Desktop: Morning at Normanby (go look at my flikr) .Current Toenail Colour: Pale, from cold feet Curent Time: half past midnight Current Surroundings: my room at halls. inundated by the noisy fan from my laptop Current Annoyances: Do i ever get annoyed? I dunno

FirstFirst Best Friend: Bryan in Faith Methodist (K1) First Crush: Emily from Faith Methodist (K1, We held hands i think, she was my partner when we were lining up. ) First Movie: Snow White and 3 little pigs, i watched one just after the other, my mum bought both and that got me hooked onto teevee. First Lie: Can't remember, the earliest i remember is when i told the maid i was going toilet when 4 or 5 yrs old when i actually went to the playground First Music: Still have the 1st music book my parents bought when i was 3 or 4, notice ABC and twinkle stars have the same tune.

LastsLast Cigarette: Does passive smoking count. Can't blame me, i'm blessed with asthma, so i'll prob nvr smoke Last Drink: Does water count? alcohol will be from the port that my neighbour Kar Mun couldn't finish Last Car Ride: bout 6 i think just came back from Mount Dandenong (Thanx again Terrence) Last Crush: Can't decide, too many to choose and lost count. lol Last Movie: Click! in the cinema, Tokyo Drift in MJ's room Last Phone Call: with Kary about her getting the same zone ticket as i am for the Coldplay concert Last CD played: Whoa! tricky one. Acronis True Image Recovery disk, to reclone my hard disk

Have you ever Have you ever dated one of your best friend: Have i ever even had a proper date? lol Have you ever broken the law: Does underage clubbing count? Have you ever been arrested: NOPE. Have you ever skinny-dipped: nope. I am not skinny and i dun dip, i plunge. Have you ever been on TV: Nope but acted in Victoria Theatre before, closest i had with showbiz. Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: lol kiss! u gotta be kidding!

5 things you are wearing: i'm wearing less than that, 1 of significance is modesty. 4 things you done today: Watched a penalty shootout in Terrence's house, Make Pancakes there, went to Mt Dandenong, forgot to get my aunt a birthday card, watch tokyo drift. 3 things you can hear right now: Some ass speaking so loudly in the hallway, my pesky loud laptop fan, my harddisk running 5 people to tag? 5 people i meet in heaven, maybe i should get started on tt audio book

Monday, June 26, 2006

It's been a long time; 6 days to ColdPlay! 9 Days to Sydney!

Many things happened. Went to city and Brighton Beach again with Ling² and Wan Sze with MJ, Jas and Terrance. Went to Smith street for factory outlet again, didn't buy anything as my thrifthy self. Wan bought another jacket for William, that girls spends a lot on him.

Terrance's Car had no space for all to get to Brighton beach, so the noble MJ decided to go on his own journey to get his wushu shoes. Which he got, a nice white addidas which is now coated in my neutral kiwi...

We reached Brighton Beach just b4 sunset. Sorry to Ling and Wan Sze and Jas who haven't been there to see the beach at almost night time. But i had a good time taking all the photos with Ling's camera. If only i had my tripod with me... Browse the photos, they're not bad.

Well soon it was left with Jas, MJ and I. 3 people 相依为命。 We cooked like we never cooked b4. Item's on the menu include curry fish head with fish body... Shepard's Pie, Oysters, Sambal Long bean, Emperor Chicken (like 药材鸡) Laksa Yong Tao Hu.

Work work work. Shagged. That's all i can describe bout it. Mark GCE, GCSE scripts by stare at the blardy screen for 7½ hours a day. Last week work on Saturday 8 to 1 somemore. But pay coming in 2 days! Can at least see some money rolling in. Well at least there's Kary, Amy, Daryl Cheng, MJ JAs Jonathan Tan to keep me company at work.

Kary and I were super farney. First day at work, we talked to each other so much we gold told off by the boss. haha after 2 weeks of work we started to talk again but more discetely. It's after all the best way to keep each other awake. We get so bored at the monotony of the work that we constantly want to fall asleep. This is further worsened by the fact that we frequently watched Soccer at Terrance's house (thanx terrance). Let me give u an example of the kinda answers that can keep us awake:

Qn: Name the type of Reaction in the above question. (or something like that)

Ans: Thermal Decomposition

Their answers:

  1. A Good Reaction
  2. The name is so bad i cannot write it
  3. I dunno
  4. ?

Qn: What radiation causes skin cancer? (or something like that)
Ans: UV rays

Their answers:

  1. Ultraviolate rays
  2. Ultraviolent

Soccer: I like watching soccer, i dun play much, but i think my pre-premidlifecrisis alzheimer's is kicking in, affecting my hearing and occasionally sight. Jasmine and MJ can vouch for my recent hard of hearing. Time to syringe the ear, and break a tympanic membrane or 2.

And for those out there who are sad like I always am here's something:

We prance around all day in the face of others, in a mask so thick to mask our thoughts and emotions, so fearful of the vulnerability of exposure
We arrive at the end, in sweet solace in the arms of a loved one, a listening friend, but I think i only got myself

Where ever you are, there is always someone there waiting at the door knocking so hard, the door's gonna crumble
But you are deaf with your sorrow, blinded from the world by your mask.
Why do you put yourself through this immense pain by yourself.
Open the door, let your inundated emotions run wild in the wilderness while the caring hand sccops in through the door to hold your tears
For every drop is so precious that you shouldn't lose too many of them, i'll help u save them...
A wet shoulder, A friend's ear full of your saliva, saves the day, it ain't that bad to share, is it?
A friend in need, indeed.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

A Quicky

This will be a fast post, i gotta do my assginment. I have to finish it by tomorrow and i'm not even half way through. Sighh... Play too many games liao.

Exams was not fantastic, Felt it was difficult and that i was less prepared than the previous one. Scary thought... I think i will pass. 13 July, the date (of release of results) to look forward to, and yet not. We had a great celebration after, went to Crown for buffet, had KTV from 9.45 pm till bout 3.30 am. W0OT! Some of them decided to stay on in city till the next day and they slept at Crown's KFC and arcade, got chased by Security guards. But i went back apparently to get more rest for assignment... but i did not do assignment in the end... Photos up go look, not many though.

Dinner today was fantastic with the ever chio Ling and also the National Fencer Wan Sze, Korean fod rulez! too bad got no chio korean waitress... lucky got 2 chio bus to acompany me ;P haha

Starting Work on Tuesday. *Yay*

Here's a clip for all u flying fanatics out there. It's quite a long clip (dun say i didn't warn u) but it's probably good enough to convert those who think flying is just... flying to love the Thunderbirds (no not the ones with strings on them, these are real professionals, if u can do it at home go ahead)

The Thunderbirds

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Photophobia: did she get it from Nesseria meningitidis?

Just saw this pop up from my google desktop, reminded me of...

Phi back when we had the bbq at Kathy's house, sure gonna miss that bunch when we change groups. I'll miss Kathy, our tutor too.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Presenting *drum rolllllllll* John! "Ta da"

The last tear will never drop indeed... there u go Johnny boy... who needs sg idol when u got him.

Josh's dream

Waterfall, Mc Escher
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

Love Mc Escher fantastic art that is not just beautiful only. This piece is "Waterfall 1961 Lithograph" though i prefer to call it the perpetual motion machine (a scientific impossibility)

So wierd Josh's dream, followed by wierd Josh's question: whether i "mind it coming thru?". Woo double whammy. For those who noe it, keep it to yourself. For those who do not know, better not to know for the sake of years to come...

Love my PCL tute group!

Love my PCL tute group!
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
Had a wonderful semster with my PCL tute group, and definitely with our dear tutor Adina. She's fantastic. It was the last turorial and we'll be changing groups next semester *sob*

So we had a mini party with doritos, i contributed Tim Tams with Kelvin bcos Kary couldn't get me her organic corn chips. But well we had fun watched funny clips and there was too much food. Tim actually baked us a cake! We're gonna miss u. Hope we at least see her when we do dissections later in the year.

Had a great soccer game with Josh, John, Becky, Kelvin a.k.a. Shearer, Alex and some other Aussies. Though it ended with a super flop by me and therefore ended the game with the last goal.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The anticipation of the possibility to go for COLDPLAY concert! Gasp!

Thanks to the beautiful, fantastic, connected, amazing Xin Yi, I got to know that Jereme. (That's rite, with the E at the end) has an extra Ticket! And will confirm soon whether the $160 is still available. Yay! A glimmer of hope, a sparkle of silver from the tortuous depths of dark clouds. Thanks loads Xin Yi! and Jereme.

Monday, May 29, 2006

If You are not too busy mugging

Go test your anatomy power here:

Maybe i'll try after i read a bit of anatomy next time: Clinkz me! =P

Maybe a Sonnet next time Nat Woong =) "Strangers at dusk, lovers at dawn" Before Sunset: Let me sing u a waltz...

For those who do not know what a sonnet is: Clinkz me! =P

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Study Life and Wheatbix

So it has come to the stage of a need for perpetual mugging, but yet i am still not...

Strict Diet to upkeep. Cooked for lunches and dinners today. Think it can last maybe 2 or 3 days.

Breakfast will be Tuna mayo supplemented by sausages and cheese. When out, it will be replaced by pink salmon mayo. YUM!: to keep the omega 3 levels high.

Most important meal of the day: Snack time, since it sccounts for most of the day... I snack a lot when i study: This week's special: tim tams are on offer again. he he. To keep the cocoa and serotonin levels high, bought my favourite dark chocolate 70% cocoa. other than that, it's wheatbix and cornflakes. They have high fibre and other nutrients. And i eat wheatbix on its own, i think it taste better that way.

Man i gotta study! 7 June ain't far, it's 9 days away. OMG! It sucks to see so many people to have almost finished their assignments while you yourself are struggling to start. Think i'm going to put my assignment to after exams. Think i'm at the boderline of positive and negative stress... or maybe i'm just bipolar. whateva.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Singapore Idol Audition 2006 - Drama Boy

Featuring My friend Shiwei on Singapore Idol Audition.

The drama mama, so long haven't spoke to u. He's my primary and secondary skool classmate. Catch up soon yar.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Got a Job, Got a holiday, Nothing without my friends

And i got a job as a professional scorer! Going to mark GCE and GCSE papers for AUD$18.71/hr. Ain't that cool. Going for training on the system on Thursday afternoon, too bad gonna skip my sociology tutorial. For those who did not get it yet, please dun fret. Call them tmr k? i'm sure Eniko will get back to u =) Cheer up.

So my holidays plans are roughly like that:

8 June - 4 July work my finger till i get carpel tunnel syndrome, marking is on the computer, they scan the papers in and u grade them with the answer scheme they give u.

5 July - 12 July Sydney! stay in some hostel at ~AUD$20 a night and spend quality time with Ethan, Xin Yi, Ming Jian, Jasmine. Only Jasmine and I not going for the Hillsong conference. Though we may join in the night(it's free admission at night i think)AND GET MY FAIR SHARE OF KRISPY KREMES!!!!

Later in July: Snow boarding.

~tata for now~

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

So this Australian speaks of Our MM LKY in THE AGE

Go have a look. Quite a skewed perspective, but some parts i agree like that our newspaper put in too much details in reports for sex offences.

For those who do not know, The Age is one of the largest circulating newspapers in Australia


Meanwhile, Here are Top 10 stories the UN thinks you should know about. And surprise, surprise, i only knew 2, how ignorant of the world can u get...


Monday, May 15, 2006

Looking Back

Looking Back
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

The 55/04 Officer Cadet Course commissioning parade:

This was probably one of the happiest moments in my life. Too Bad i didn't sign on. Or rather, didn't want to in the first place.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

No Coldplaying concert tickets... Boo hoo...

So this weekend went up in flames. Burn baby burn!

Saturday: Went for Connexions in Melbourne Uni, organised by Singapore International Foundation. Was impressed by the speakers that turned up:

Peggy Kek, Deputy Executive Director, SIF

Chua Kheng Hwa, Divisional Director, International Manpower Division (Contact Singapore), Ministry of Manpower

Eddie Teo, High Commisioner of the Republic of Singapore - Australia

We received heaps of information about employment in Singapore. Good to know that employment rate of NUS, NTU, SMU students are: 95%, 94%, 100% respectively. And the picture painted was that our economy is in one of it's better times.

Mr Eddie Teo mentioned about a programme by Channel News Asia CNA, that had a panel of young journalist and students hurtling audacious, ground-breaking questions at MM LKY. And that he answered most in his calmed composure, but almost lost it once. Too bad they dun have it online to d/l couldn't find it on CNA.

The food fare was food, Local delights: Nasi Lemak, Roti Prata, Curry Chicken, Tang Yuan, Ngou Hiang, Bubble Tea.

Sunday: Had brunch with Mr Chua Kheng Hwa, and it's on them. Haha. But it was interesting talking to him and me analysing him analysing our conversations. Spoke mainly about the issue of not enough HO places for overseas medical students to enter the system. Then about us thinking we will be more disadvantaged than NUS students when it comes to specialising, mainly due to us not being able to establish better relationships with our superiors and colleagues.

But well we were not in the system yet, and i think we still are really unsure of the system. At least i am.

On a lighter note, Happy 21st Birthday Ethan!! and also to my dear friend Edwin, wished i was there for your party. Sadly, I couldn't get tickets of Coldplay concert, because i didn't even know they were coming till the tickets were long sold out. SAD!!!

The Saga continues for Critique of Aussie Med Education: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,19106686-23289,00.html

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

And so it is... Just like u said it would be....

Didn't do as well as i hoped for for my exam. Saw all the stages: Disbelief → denial → anger → sadness and acceptance → reflection → change it all happened in about 1 min.

Kerf died, for the neogenesis. I hope there is a change. And no i am not sad, just not happy.

Monday, May 08, 2006


Ineresting ones include:

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Auroraphobia- Fear of Northern lights
Barophobia- Fear of gravity
Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks
Cyclophobia- Fear of bicycles
Dipsophobia- Fear of drinking
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia
Hagiophobia- Fear of saints or holy things
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
Homilophobia- Fear of sermons
Ideophobia- Fear of ideas
Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis
Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews
Kosmikophobia- Fear of cosmic phenomenon
Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables
Maniaphobia- Fear of insanity
Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis
Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven
Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing
Proctophobia- Fear of rectums
Sinistrophobia- Fear of things to the left or left-handed
Soceraphobia- Fear of parents-in-law
Somniphobia- Fear of sleep
Symmetrophobia- Fear of symmetry
Technophobia- Fear of technology
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat

WTH, peanut butter stuck on the roof of mouth, how cool is that... Thanx Waisan for educating me.

Brought to u by the letter Zee

Love Puke

We should always have a cynic view of love, there is no such thing as a unhealthy cynic. Love creates cynics. Why should we be entwined with love, so entangled with the warmth? Then the more u get spun together on a common web, the attachment grows: distant makes the heart fonder. Then u find yourself hoping that it will last, till you suddenly see the cliff before you, though not too near, it ain't far either. You dispair and despair. You try to find reasons to look at it logically, you try to avoid the hurt that comes. But is still just does. Love puke.

How could I hate love so much, for I have probably never loved before, i dunno what love is, unless infatuation counts. Or maybe infatuation leads to love, but i never did see it go that way yet.
Well the ideas were from Love puke, a play, we saw on Saturday. Sure reminds me of how i liked acting when i was much younger, the lights, the litle makeup, the crowd, the dressing room, the dinners i had to eat quickly so that i got extra time to remember my lines, and the elaborate costumes.

There was an asian girl that was fantastic, cried on the spot during her soliloquy, later i got to know she's actually from VJ and did TSD. Small world. But i thought the first soliloquy was the best: she starts with a normal tone, then goes up and down and stays there and let it simmer in the pain. (like evaporation and rain: Water goes up, the rain falls onto the ground with such pain, no one bothers it or helps it, as you do not know it's in pain, for you can't see someone crying in the rain)(rollercoasters are too cliche).

On psychoanalytical note, there was a gread deal of examples in Love puke of 'Games people play' reminded me of the transactional analysis of games people play by Eric Berne. Haven't used that to analyse my life for a long time...

Well on a reality check, i am so not progressing as i wanted. (maybe i should sing Majulah Kerfern everyday) I am struggling with the compilation of my notes, still at week 8, though we are starting week 10. And i HAVEN'T STARTED WITH MY ASSIGNMENT YET!!! Procrastination or no procrastination, i have to start today. Its friggin 6.3°C as i type this.

Look at this for the appaling state of the Aussie med education. Hope i turn out fine: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,19042005-2702,00.html

Watched 'Before Sunset' again, and again. It was nice, very.

It is Fear that creates cynics not Love.

"Let me sing you a waltz..."

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Amazing Table Tennis Video

Not too long a video, so i guess Monash peeps can d/l.

while u're at it go look at MJ's blog for the Chang2 Quan2 video, absolutely stunning i tell u. Forceful yet like a butterfly flutter by.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

It was Jasmine's Bdae...

It was Jasmine's Bdae...
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

So here is the story of how the cheesecake came about...

So i wanted to make it on Fri Afternoon which was Jas's bday itself, then realised that we needed a cake for our midnight gig with "A Whole New World" -.-" So i decided to bake it on Wed night, so that i can have 1 day to chill it to perfection.

So along with my trusty sidekick Ming Jian, and my handy dandy mixer that my mum brought over, got it started. Then a strange smell exuded from the 'powerful' mixer, thought it was someone else burning their dinner. Then the 'all powerful' mixer that is older than me died. So Ming Jian and i looked at each other and we kept the stuff for another day... went to mess hall to eat, had no mood to cook dinner.

So Thurs came, skool ended at 5. Walked to Brandon Park, that's bout 30 mins. Looked high and low for a mixer, bought the more expensive one at $30 for fear that i get another 'power mixer', quite impressive: 150 W motor, now that's a mixer. Then ate 2 Big macs (the singapore ones seem bigger) and walked back again (i wonder how i can stand half hour of boredom). The cake preparation went well, this time with Xing Yi, Jonathan and a little of Jeff. But the mix filled the whole tin, and think we beat the mix a little too much.

So after an hour and a half of baking, to my HORROR!! the cake rose so much that the sides were falling off... go look at the photos. Well had to live with it. Then made a mini cheesecake using aluminium foil. Refrigertated both for only an hour then had to bring it for the gig...

Think i won't make another cake any time soon, man it's tiring... too bad it didn't turn up as good as the one i made in sg. Lucky huis got a good chunk of it eh?


All of life is a coming home.
Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers--
all of us.
All the restless hearts of the world...
all trying to find a way home.
It's hard to describe what I felt like then.
Picture yourself walking for days in a driving snow.
You don't even know you're walking in circles--
the heaviness of your legs in the drifts;
your shouts disappearing into the wind.
How small you can feel.
How far away home can be.
The dictionary defines it as both a place of origin...
and a goal or destination.
And the storm?
The storm was all in my mind.
Or, as the poet Dante put it...
"ln the middle of the journey of my life I found myself in a dark wood...for I had lost the right path."

No... i am not home sick yet. It's just a poem.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Autumn came and soon it's gone

Autumn came and soon it's gone
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
Went to Normanby's house just to take pitures of the evidence of Autumn. How fast time has sped past, without us taking a timeout to actually appreciate the relationships we have made, the changes in our lives...

What time is it? Its PFE. Pleasant Friday Evening

So... Mid semester exam's over. The paper was okay (never knew what that meant) and the paper was errornous, the lecturers were trying to be so complicated that they probably confsed themselves. And we went clubbing at 'Seven'. About 2 km south of Melbourne City.

The music was okay, man i miss Mambo Night, the drinks were cheap: $3.50 for a glass of liquor. Cover charge was $3. The people were fun! Go check the photos! Had only 3 drinks then left bout 1, i tink and took nightrider back to our hall. Had to run to go find where the bus stop was to board, did not find it, but instead it stopped at the traffic light...

Today's Anzac day: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ANZAC_Day. Holiday! But slept till noon, after a good game of DOTA. Weihong, Lilian, Kangxun and Yong Ji, i'm ready to play against u all... Wa Ha Ha Ha..

Yesterday had a fantastic game of badminton, the racket that i loaned from the sports hall was a limiting factor to my performance. But still we had great fun, it's after all the only racket game i can play properly, though the only other racket game i can think of is tennis...

Had a close call with moving out of halls. We saw this amazing huge house that can accomodate 6 of us. We calculated the money stuff, i went with Jasmine to IKEA to check the furniture prices, and just before we decide to actually tell the agent our decision, i called my parents. Talked to them for 1 hour plus, and they got me to understand why i should not take that house. Well basically it's too big (the maintenance is terrible), too may people (maybe noisy) and we actually lose money because we have to furnish it... Well maybe next time. Sorry to those who really wanted to move out...

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Cultural Canival

The Cultural Canival
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
As promised, the post on The Cultural Carnival. It was wicked fun! learnt that i can dance with my 3 left feet... that every skit needs fantastic props... and that though i couldn't stand my dance partner due to her incessant attention seeking bouts of comments and actions, we can still dance together wonderfully. And no i still do not like her...

So my Jamaican story was the misadventures of 3 penguins from Philip Island (that's near Melbourne) that go to Jamaica. Basically, for the whole night, the more culturally wrong or insensitive the plays get, the more humor, the more fun.

Sneaked in the Richardson people for them to come watch our Carnival and free desert, because they did not have anything to wear for their Retro Night.

It's now Easter break till next Thurs. Diving into the books, to mug for my mid sem exam next Fri that only accounts for 5% of the whole year... The Char siew was good, the braised prok lacked a lil more black sauce. No pics for those... It'll be Curry Chicken next week. So sad, the mess hall not open, so got to cook everyday =(.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Easter's Coming

It's been fast, half a semester has flown past. We'l be having an easter break from 12 to 19th April. Thenit will be our mid Semester Exam on 21st! Gasp! Though it's only 5% of the whole year's assesment. Got lots to catch up, have been playing too much Need for Speed: Most Wanted...

Have been cooking this whole week. It ain't too bad, but gotta cut down on the time taken to cook; If we cook together it's bout an average of 1½ hours. Next week's menu include attempt to make Char Siew and Braised Pork. Shepard's pie this week was good, sorry no pic for that.

Cultural Carvival's next week, apparently i'm acting as a penguin visiting Jamaica...

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Double coat Tim Tams

Double coat Tim Tams
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
This post is just for those who do not believe that there are such things as double coat tim tams.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Daylight Savings Over!

Daylight Savings Over!
Originally uploaded by kerfern.
Yay, had 1 extra hour to sleep. Now the time difference with Singapore is only 2 hrs. This pic is the view outside my window at 7 a.m.

Monash Peeps: hope no one forgets to turn back time by 1 hr like Jeff who came at 0717 thinking we were late for pancakes...

If i could turn... turn back the hands of time...