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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Distraction: a road to self discovery

I get distracted a tat too easily. here's the lists of distractions: bejeweled, msn, anime: naruto, bleach, tv shows: The OC, sleep.

I have decided to actually explore why i get distracted. First, what am i distracted from.

  1. Catch up with past 2 weeks stuff
  2. Assignment due on 22 Sept
  3. Packing my room
  4. Filing my stuff: which is now a lot...
  5. Backing up my computer

Think there shold be other stuff that are less important. Well now to why?

We have not many motivators in life: Fear, Love, Desire for comfort. Think that sums it up. Fear as someone said 'is the worst motivator for any action or inaction', it is however a powerful one, sure we all feel it the day before exam. Love, the motivator that is even more powerful; fear is a self-protective motivated motivator, while love is a self-sacrificing motivator. To be willing to sacrifice, is to give your all, all your power, not like fear which is just to dodge death or evil consequence.

Then there is the desire for comfort. The theory of why we are doing what we have been doing all our lives, to conform to society, to improve ourselves by studying, working to get food on the table, to get a better life for us, our parents, our future family, is all but a desire of comfort. In the examples listed, there are some actions that have multiple motivators like family support, is both love and the desire for comfort.

The desire for comfort is not necessarily a bad thing: but it stems out a few characteristics that are well-hated, ill-liked; laziness: the desire for short term comfort, so much so that you dont want to do anything that has to move your tendon or neuron; procrastination: putting off prioty stuff just for a moment of lack of work, or for a moment of relaxation.

Distraction: is but a combination of laziness and procrastination, the desire to put away stress by ignoring the already high stacking pile of work. The desire to waste away time and relax, while still having a huge bubble behind that progresses slowly in eating your constant thoughts: that the work is piling up, that escapism is only temporary, that if you carry on, you are going to crash. CRASH! BADLY, maybe even never get to have an active neuron again. death.

So this post is a line i draw on my road. To end this misery of distractions, to stop this childish nonsense, i can almost see depression setting in, maybe i'm bipolar like 2 people told me before. Haha, maybe i'll go mad. But to end off, not in a further form of escapism, but with facing the MUSIC. If only i could play some. Haha. Die! let the desire to escape die! Wahahaha!

Haha, so in the end the need to disarm my DISTRACTIONS is due to fear of failure, and also for a desire for a greater comfort in the future, and for the love of my parents who sent me here, also the fear of disappointment of my parents, and my own disappointment. Fearing fear itself i see..

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