Heavy Hearted

i wonder what is worse, a heavy heart or a myocardial infarct. they are both crushing, but i have never felt a heart attack before.

i feel inadequate. there is so little i noe about neurology, than to my lack of studying of neuroanat for the past 2 years. and i am sad that i am starting to question my desire for surgery. it just doesnt turn me on as much as Gen med rotation. maybe i'll end up a renal or endocrine physician. or just be like my idol who knows everything about everything, and still so nice and willing to teach.

so i am heavey hearted, because of
1. waiting
2. confused about what i want to do in the future
3. inadequacy of my understanding neuroanat
4. neurosurgery which is supposedly one of the most exciting surgeries is not making my eye twinkle in delight
5. i have no extra curricular activities.

maybe i should get in contact with the photography club. i am soooo tired. and i havent studied all week. and it doesnt help that i am insatiable when it comes to perfection, and i am no where near that.