My 21st

The Card 2
Originally uploaded by kerfern.

So, a long overdue, late post, almost 1 weeks already. Pictures for the celebration with the Monash Meddies, will come slightly later. Havent got it from them yet. I would like to thank all of u for celebrating my bdae with me.

The photos of all the gifts are on Flikr, so go see them, got interesting coments in there.

The celebration: MY bdae was on Sat, and on Wed, John asked me to join him for dinner, we were supposed to be having it just with each other. Then Saturday came and John delayed the time to meet up for dinner a few times. Suspicious. Well we took a bus to clayton. He "suggested" that he wanted to eat korean food. So i recommended him 2 places at Clayton. I wanted to go to another, but it didnt take him much effort to convince me to go to where he wanted. As usual i am easygoing, I WAS EXPLOITED lol.

So then as we went up the flight of stairs at the restaurant, there they all were. In the restaurant waiting for me. A yum seng that made the whole restaurant look at us... It was a fantastic meal, thanks for the treat guys, and it ended off with a cheesecake from the shop i always wanted to try, so John remembered... Too bad he's attached wahahaha.

I was bombarded by the sheer size and number of gifts.

I would seriously say it was a plan flawlessly executed. But i had some suspicions along the way:

1. When John called me for dinner, well it's quite unlikely that it would be just him and me
2. On Friday night itself, Roberts hall had phototaking. I had to convince MJ to go for it as he was a little reluctant to. Then he agreed to go down with what he was already wearing: which was something quite nice; wear so nice go where? ;p
3. Then Jeff and MJ told me they were going mess hall. And it was not only once. lol. So desperately trying to throw me off guard. And if they were really going mess hall, why MJ wear so nice before even wanting to go for photo taking.
4. Then John tried to stall time, maybe it was because not everyone was there.
5. Then at the bus stop with john, forgot what we were talking about, then i being my random self say i want to call Kelvin to confirm. That got John a lil gan cheong. haha

Well thats about all folks. Keep your eyes peeled for more photos. Should be up by weekend.

Bought a 500GB hard disk. And now i spent too much time on it. Havent touched my books at all. Die liao. 30 days to exams! Oh and i cut my hair, looks kinda funky it should since it costs $28. lol Just need to find a suit for med ball..

Happy Birthday to the Gal

I purposely, posted this at the last minute of your birthday. Usually people lose sleep to wait to wish birthdays the first minute of the day. But i do it last..

Well dearest Shihui! Have a happy one. Can see that u liked the suicide rabbits, hope u liked the mini letter i wrote u. Waiting impatiently for your card. Hope it actualy reaches.

I wonder has anyone hit beyond your $300 mark specifically someone. =p Keep in touch and i quote " huis! happy funky 21st baby :D stay HOT!" lol

Anger

Mr KCYY said that anger should be considered as a motivator with the likes of Fear, Love and desire for comfort. Well anger, ever wondered what is it?

Here is my dissection of anger:

Anger an emotion expressed by many who do not bother to use a facade or mask to maintain composure to be well liked. It is expressed in situations of hurt, or hate. Mostly, it stems from disappointment or disgrace. I will attempt to show you that it is not a base emotion but derives from some of the original 3 i dictate.

Being hurt by someone (emotionally) and disappointment, derives from love of that person, like a parent disappointed that the child is homosexual. Hate, is a complex one, why do we hate people or things? It is a strong dislike, and why do we dislike? The person or object of dislike is something that we may fear causing us harm (like u hate cacti because they poke u), or simply something that does not suit our eye (u hate lime green), where suiting our taste is something that makes us feel comfortable. Then there is hate that derives from love: (you hate people who eat lobsters especially the real red ones because you love sea creatures)

So there you have it, a feeble attempt at explaining anger, and where it comes from.

On a side note, I got some cadaver juice on my lips today, EWWWWWWW, so i got back at the cadaver by dislocating his hip. Thanks Joshua for his help, when most of my group lost hope in dislocating it, even my tutor Aki was more interested in talking to a co-worker, about someone's death. Or maybe she was confident that we will get it done anyway. So maybe orthopedic surgery, well i dunno.

Distraction: a road to self discovery

I get distracted a tat too easily. here's the lists of distractions: bejeweled, msn, anime: naruto, bleach, tv shows: The OC, sleep.

I have decided to actually explore why i get distracted. First, what am i distracted from.

1. Catch up with past 2 weeks stuff
2. Assignment due on 22 Sept
3. Packing my room
4. Filing my stuff: which is now a lot...
5. Backing up my computer

Think there shold be other stuff that are less important. Well now to why?

We have not many motivators in life: Fear, Love, Desire for comfort. Think that sums it up. Fear as someone said 'is the worst motivator for any action or inaction', it is however a powerful one, sure we all feel it the day before exam. Love, the motivator that is even more powerful; fear is a self-protective motivated motivator, while love is a self-sacrificing motivator. To be willing to sacrifice, is to give your all, all your power, not like fear which is just to dodge death or evil consequence.

Then there is the desire for comfort. The theory of why we are doing what we have been doing all our lives, to conform to society, to improve ourselves by studying, working to get food on the table, to get a better life for us, our parents, our future family, is all but a desire of comfort. In the examples listed, there are some actions that have multiple motivators like family support, is both love and the desire for comfort.

The desire for comfort is not necessarily a bad thing: but it stems out a few characteristics that are well-hated, ill-liked; laziness: the desire for short term comfort, so much so that you dont want to do anything that has to move your tendon or neuron; procrastination: putting off prioty stuff just for a moment of lack of work, or for a moment of relaxation.

Distraction: is but a combination of laziness and procrastination, the desire to put away stress by ignoring the already high stacking pile of work. The desire to waste away time and relax, while still having a huge bubble behind that progresses slowly in eating your constant thoughts: that the work is piling up, that escapism is only temporary, that if you carry on, you are going to crash. CRASH! BADLY, maybe even never get to have an active neuron again. death.

So this post is a line i draw on my road. To end this misery of distractions, to stop this childish nonsense, i can almost see depression setting in, maybe i'm bipolar like 2 people told me before. Haha, maybe i'll go mad. But to end off, not in a further form of escapism, but with facing the MUSIC. If only i could play some. Haha. Die! let the desire to escape die! Wahahaha!

Haha, so in the end the need to disarm my DISTRACTIONS is due to fear of failure, and also for a desire for a greater comfort in the future, and for the love of my parents who sent me here, also the fear of disappointment of my parents, and my own disappointment. Fearing fear itself i see..

What is love?

A question so many ask, and if u were paid a quadrillionth of a cent for every time some one thinks of it, you would probably still be a millionaire. But yet, it is a feeling, something so deep in the body feeling, so far from logic sometimes, that we cannot express it in words. For i personally cannot express what it is.

But here, i now portray love in a few lines of excert from 'About a Boy', starring Hugh Grant. For those who have not yet seen it, it's about how a 12 year old boy, Marcus, got to get close to Will (Hugh Grant), a 38 year old man, and they became friends. This part probably captures this quintessence of "What is Love?"

Marcus: What's the difference between a girl who's your friend and a girlfriend?

Will: Well, I don't know. Do you want to touch her?

Marcus: Is that so important?

Will: Yeah, you've heard about sex, right? It is kind of a big deal.

Marcus: I know. I'm not stupid.
I just can't believe there's nothing more to it.
I mean, like, I want to be with her more. I want to be with her all the time.
And I want to tell her things I don't even tell you or Mum.
And I don't want her to have another boyfriend.
If I could have all those things...
...I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.