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Sunday, October 01, 2006


Think i need help. A 500GB has just made my life worse. So for those who hate people who whine or sulk or complain or bitch on my blog: please refrain from reading on, or you may puke blood and drink it back to preserve your own pathetic life of reading blogs to get to know someone for their bright side and not their sad side and the side that actually wishes someone to hold their hand. Well here goes nothing, dun say i didnt warn you.

Well a week of holidays had passed, a hope to finally catch up with my work, a hope to actually lessen my anxieties, a hope to gain control again of my life. Well it is now all lost, all of it. It's the last 13 mins of the holidays and i have effectively wrote only a little bit of descriptive epidemiology notes, thats all, period. No i did not study any other thing, havent touched my Moore's since the Vetebra coloumn that day (yes for those who think i am kidding, i did not even touch it for mid-sem exams) and well the rest is just terrible.

What's worse, though my mid sem exam results were not bad, they are a terrible gauge of what i am in, as this terrible form of loss of control in my life only took effect after the exams. So i know that my actual power now is much lower than what was reflected in my results. But well, i may have formative OSCEs tmr, but i havent touched anything on it. lol

Some thik that i am smart enough to catch up. Well first i am not that smart, second, even if i am ,i have to actually do something before i can actually extract knowledge from this airy world and that includes actually reading..

Hope i snap out of it NOW! screams and cries... well maybe i should get delusional or schizo or depressed for some of u to do a MSE on me. Well i will never give up. Stop u blardy monkey mind, always prancing around, looking for the next distraction. Motivation, how to be what i want to be if i get distracted so easily.

Maybe i should lose some slepp to punish myself, my body already doing half of it by getting sick, enter Sinusitis. I love myself. Enough i hope.

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