Taiwan is awaiting

Tmr i leave singapore on a 0830 flight to Taiwan!

havent been to Taiwan since the army daze. and looking forward to the cooler weather. but the crowd i am with is mum and her friends. so i suppose i am more restricted to do what they prefer rather than roam about with young fun stuff. Mm well older stuff can be fun too i suppose. and i got my other girlfriend to take care of my boredom (it's my camera lol)

Hoping that i will be able to have some fun on the trip and go around with a friend rather than me covering my ears trying to not hear the neighbouring rooms of people mm paying for service.

i wonder how much memory cards i need. mm need to get some ebooks in my PDA just in case.

i have uploaded some photos. mm tt sums up what i have been up to. =)

And so i end up working again. and not in a hospital sigh.

wanted to slack this hols but ended up getting stuck with work again.

and its RETAIL again.

so i am apparently selling scooters in front of Shaw house. Well at least it's a cool electric scooter, not some lame stuff, And the pay is wayyy more than usual. So what a way to kill 10 days.

meanwhile the gf just went HK. and i am gg Taiwan!!! i gg Taiwan 31 Jan i think.

toodles.

Back in Singapore

got to drive the first day i came back. but dad's car is really old and i wasnt used to it at all. gve my parents a few shocks here and there. but well it was not bad. clutching was good. just tt my turns were a bit too fast.

fell sick with allergic rhinitis, loads of runnings in the nose, starting to have a bit of a cough. boo

and i got a relative with a brain tumour, gg to see her tmr. hope she gets well soon.

hope this will be a good holiday. maybe gg to taiwan in the christmas period =)

update!

havent posted for a long time due to exams and post exam packing and moving. i am just about settled. and i am glad i have a car now !!!! =)

so finally moving in to the girlfriend's and we are trying to find a housemate for next year. realise the rooms are a little small and the storage space is little. but well it's all worth it. going to miss my old place at St kilda Road. nice apartment albeit pricey one. and my hosuemates there. a bond that i have created.

and so i got a car! it's a second hand Hyundai Getz. 4 year old but 33, 000 kms tt's really low. and well got it for 10K. not the best of deals but well not too bad. and wat's important is that i am happy when i am driving it. yay! and i travelled 100km since Saturday. going all over to polish up my rusty manual driving skills. Stalled a few times in the past few days. But it's getting better.

Trying to go home on coming friday. my ticket is on23rd Dec but i'll try to wait at the airport and see whether i can get on any flights.

At last back to Singapore soon.

And photos are being processed. coming up soon

talk about procrastination. exams tmr. and well time passes by through nonsensical browsing

Lightning:


Inhaling Hexafluoride




Don't Judge too quickly


Guinness: tipping point


Battle of the sexes


stop the bullet

the end is near

so 3rd yr med is ending soon. 1 more week of visiting patients. and OSCEs is on 21st, the written paper on the 24th.

so we reflect the year, in our log book. seeing how much or little we have done. and how people are scrambling about to get their log books signed off by the indispensable 5th yr.

studying has not been half as well as i hoped. and i am real scared now. thank god i got good practice along the year and a good gf who teaches me so much, that i think i will survive.

Dad just sent me many strings of chinese well wishes in rows of 4s again =) parents are at Cameron highlands! and i have never been before! lol

i havent really lived up to my own expectations, but i will work hard from now. i hope i keep this promise =)

Currently i got a few frustrations:

1. i am not studying well
2. housing for next year is complicated
3. i am not gg to get to see many beloved friends next year
   

btw, WEP and WPA securities for wifi are now crackable boo. the race between black and white never ends does it.

An Excel music video

now this is cool stuff. creating a music video from using an excel spread sheet. =)



download it here

i read it from here

k back to studying.

excited!

i joined a gym membership today! it's $1 for 30 days it's Genesis Fitness club, just like 5 to 10 min walk from my place. cool lah =) no swimming pool though.

and tmr i am gg to see a trainer to assess my fitness level. hope i didnt run myself down too much today.

tired. but need to study

A loooong but good day

today woke at 0645hrs, to go to Sandringham hospital for General Surgery. Went there with Yeo early to do injections, got to each do 1 =). And the surgery list seemed less packed today, and Yeo and i decided to go see surgeries.

In between we had Radiology tute by the private contracted radiologist. IT was great. he basicallly taught us all the Radiology that was happening as he works. so he dictates and then teaches us at the same time. got to see an U/S guided cyst aspiration of a thyroid.

so here are all the 6 surgeries i watched today.

1. hemithyroidectomy: removing 1 side of the 2 sides of a thyroid
2. direct inguinal hernia repair: scrubed in for this one
3. Lap Choly: laproscopic cholecystectomy: key hole surgery removal of the gall bladder
4. pilonidal sinus removal: Yeo scrubbed in for this
   
5. Haemorroidectomy: removal of a haemorrhoid: I scrubbed in for this
   
6. Lap appendicectomy: laproscopic removal of a inflammed appendix

so i think i pretty much seen almost most surgeries that occur in a general surgeon's life. And i actually think it's interesting. especially the laproscopic ones. the scars are like almost not seen lah.

time to study. i am getting a bit freaked out that exams are close by =) about time i freaked out.

Who affects your life, who you live for, and who you have beside you

A consultant mentor of mine mentioned an interesting statement: "In life there are 3 things/people which/whom are most important

1. God
2. Your life partner
3. Your Job

They determine what your life is or will be. And he added on that it is important to select the right partner for it will make or break you." (this are probably not his exact words). As we all know, many say behind a successful man is a woman. And i do agree this to a great extent, other than the tinge of sexism in the statement, well behind a successful woman can also be a man.

I believe that you need a supportive partner to succeed in work, for we only have to hands and 24 hours. The time and place we need our hands are more than 24 hours and more than 2 places at once. And another pair of hands help to save the day. Another pair of hands shares the load, another pair of hands can give u a hug. But well if you choose a wrong partner (was lazy to think of a more politically correct term), you end up ruining each other's life. Life gets miserable as you require more time and effort to appease the other half, to live with your other half and just to live life. It gets tough, and you end up not being able to channel the energy needed to succeed in life.

Success in life has many measures, but well happiness is a good measure. And it's contentment at arriving at your goal (that is set realistically) that brings themost happiness. Another mentor said that a lot of guys in our society have depression because they work for $ and it is never enough.

back to the main point. So i believe we must trust and believe and select carefully to succeed.
and my view point of the 3 points is that Family is the aspect that should replace your life partner. At the end of the day, Mum and Dad are the only pair in the world. you can choose anyother wife, but well family is family. And then comes the family u create with your other half. They are hopefully your support, your cheerleading squad, and the reason you live and work for.

i sure hope we all succeed in life.

Happening LAH

just had a happening weekend, i.e. lots of activity and no studying. Actualy it was jsut a happening Saturday. LET the peektures do the talking =)

Spent the whole morning finding a nice watch for Kary for her birthday. it was the earliest i have ever been to Chadstone shopping centre
then went to Singapore day. Many people, many types of food, from Nasi lemak to chili crab, hokkien mee, char kway teow, chendol, bah chor mee, kaya toast and the list goes on. and best of a it was free!
we had to queue though. sure does remind me of singapore, the queuing i mean lol.

The girlfriend and I tried the char kway teow and the hokkien mee, not bad. and the prawns are HUGE. didnt get a picture though.

left early because we thought it was getting boring. it wasnt boring when phua chu kang was on stage. yes: gurmit, Tank Keng Hwa and the rest of the cast were here. cool =)

then night came: Becky and i went to Kary's 21st party at a restaurant @ Hardware Lane. great stuff i tell u.
then we were supposed to go for Xinyi's 22 bdae party, but we were too late =(((( very sad that we couldnt make it. and we all ended up adjourning to Jas's place where i get reminded i am still terrible at Guitar heroes lol. Mm and the gf and i were tired so we went back early to sleep.

HAd a bit of fever last night. and i hope tonight will be better =)

And today, there's news that Ministry of Sound close liao, and i havent even stepped in before lol.

a great week

so this week went by great =)

scored well on my assignment and did well for my MCR =) at last studying hard pays off, credits go to Becky who helped me so much with my Renal history revision. THANK YOU BECKY =)

and also she planned my birthday which was a blast. the happiest birthday i had i a long time =) went to Kobe Jones, posh restaurant with fusion japanese food. photos are yet to be processed. they were taken by Yeo. THANKS TO THOSE WHO CAME =)

mm then went to the OCF play Hell's Kitchen where Xin Yi was the Sound 'Guy' with another guy. preferred last year's play though, which was directed and written by Xin Yi.

and lastly i finally found the virus which i got from Amy and passed to Yeo and Becky. Smart virus writer that hid command to startup the virus every time we startup windows in an obscure part of the registry. It then downloads other viruses from the internet and it hides in the recycle bin. My antivirus couldnt detect it, but thank goodness detects the viruses it downloads =)

interestingbut may be slightly disgusting to some: HIV talk

not many people are aware of how the risk compares with different styles of intercourse so here goes (for my fellow colleagues):

The relative risk for HIV transmission varies from 100 for receptive anal sex, 20 for receptive vaginal sex, 13 for insertive anal sex, 10 for insertive vaginal sex, to 2 for receptive fellatio vs 1 for insertive fellatio.

HIV transmission by oral sex between men has been reported.
HIV transmission is reduced by approximately 80% with condom use.

the point about transmission by oral sex has been underestimated by many. Especially many teens in the US think that oral sex is safe, but actually still carries a risk. A colleague of mine got to interview a patient with HIV who was male. He had oral sex with his parter and got HIV from his partner because he had dental work done and had a cut in his mouth.

interesting disease this is, and the therapy takes a long time for me to understand and remember.

Viruses

Wah i have spent >10 hours on Amy Khoo's laptop already and i am still pek chek (irritated). I cannot fully remove this clever and powerful virus that is really irritating.

it infects exe files, and infects every program you open. then it inactivates the background protection by the antivirus. And it attacks a crucial file in windows: rundll32.exe. so i try to remove the virus from this file and the computer shutsdown. so basically i cant remove the virus totally as it always shuts down. and when it boots up, all the files are re-infected again. lol


here are some medical analogies for computer viruses.
Amy's lappy was immunocompromised (she did not have an antivirus) and there was huge propagation before she noticed it (multiple exe files corrupted). The virus was also a immunosuppressant like HIV (it disabled the antivirus i installed), and vaccination proves a challenge (the antivirus is not working as well as it should).

and well i havent got any studying done today thanx to this virus.

Macs have viruses, but well the probability of getting one is soooo small. maybe i will get a mac. Nah just kidding.

i should try this some day. (probabably when i have my own little kid) ;p

A video by a photographer i admire a lot: Phitar. amazing flickr pool of pictures. And always lovely travel photos.

Lalalalaser weapons!

Laser: light amplified by stimulate emission of radiation

Boeing has been testing some hardcore nasty ass Laser weapons. capable of shooting down missiles in the air and even offensive onto the ground.

i read before too there is a ground mounted one that can destroy multiple incoming missiles. there was a hot video which i cant find now.

well the era of laser weapons is entering. cool =)

Cool video about shooting sports =)

video credits to Vincent Laforet

the many many many cameras and $$$$ of equipment!!!
meanwhile, photos are up =) go look. had a great week with Kel's and Andrew's birthday party

had a fantabulous self declared holiday with the darling. check out the few photos =)
we played CS. yes yes counterstrike lol. we miss it ;p

Internet explorer "porn mode"

one of the funniest things ever, a privacy mode in new internet explorer to conceal your 'movements'

credits to Gizmodo

this week in my life

So today i went for the Anatomy quiz with my teammates Becky and Melissa (the 4th year meddie=)) it was fun, but well we didnt do very well and we attributed that to calculation error. the topic was thorax and our score was worse than some participants who didnt study. so well w didnt win. it was a $500 book boucher flown away lol. well we may joint the next quiz: head and neck.

and at last i started on my CAT assignment. we have to appraise a journal article that would eb able to answer questions arising from a clinical scenario. the arduous journey to complete the assignment (which some may argue takes only a few hours) is still on for me. but well at least i got to play with an opthalmoscope again thanks to my baby.

and this week something triggered a lot of thought. it's about burning paper for the deceased.
there are many who say that burning paper whether houses or paper 'hell money' is part of buddhism. i can safely say i do not think so, it may be a part of taosim, but it isnt part of true taoism too. it probably is art of what some call 多神教 yup translated to many god religion, where most of the time in the religion is spent worshipping numerous gods.

offerings to gods have been part of worship by many religions, it is a form or respect and also expression of fear. Whether it is the sacrifice of the numerous lambs in the bible, or the sacrificial processions in the muslim mosques or burnt incense for buddhism and taosim, it is still for worship. But the problem is when people get too involved in worship and forget about the teachings of the various religions. the christian teaching of love, the buddhist teaching of enlightnment, the teachings of taoism of The Way, and we get too caught up in the lowest level of religion, just worshipping alone.

then the burning of offerings gets extended to the burning for the deceased. it used to be incense to show respect for the deceased, that they are not forgotten. then came the square paper with a gold centre bordered by a red square, that was fanned out in a fashionable way and tossed one at a time into the burning inferno. Then came the belief that burning 'hell money' and houses and cars and what nots are for the deceased to 'live comfortably' in the afterlife.

well we can start thinking about the production of the paper stuff. they do have exquisite designs, mercedes cars and huge mansions. and the detail put into the 'hell money'. so somehow this stuff that we print and onstruct when burnt ends up in the afterlife. but well the mercedes car does not have a steering wheel or the boot space, the mansions have no bulbs or fridge or car porch or toilets, the hell money probably can be photocopied. so it really doesnt make sense to me the EXCLUSIVITY of the objects burnt and the fact that that bunch of paper used to make a house costs thousands of $$$. should get my architect friend to go into this business. my point is that why do you have to buy it from this swindling businessmen?

next is of course the process of burning, in what way does the burning of the offerings end up in the afterlife? mm wouldnt the house or cars be too small? and what makes you think there is ability to bring these material stuff over to the afterlife if there is one?

okay enough said. ranting ranting. and just to remind, these are my point of view, everyone is entitled to state their believes ;p and apologies to all those out there buying real houses and real cars from the money they earn from selling these paper ones ;p

Why men cheat?

i am not an expert nor a well read person on this subject, but this are just my thoughts and opinion
This may explain why cheating happens, but this doesnt mean that i think it's right. It is wrong, wrong, wrong, period.
well the things i have to say are from my perspectives of social norms, and of course you are entitled to have differing concepts of what is normal. leave a comment =)

what is cheating? traditionally: it's having sexual relations with people other than your partner. it has been extended to wider ground especially in asian conservative culture to just doing anything that seems to express your liking for another person through physical and emotional means.

So why?
males of all creatures that run around are born to instinctively spread his seed to get as many offsprings as possible for procreation, while females were born to stick to one companion and take care of the offspring. this is of course an overgeneralisation, there are birds that have only 1 partner ever and do not ever find other partners when their female partner dies like the love birds.
A friend did remind me, after all we are humans not animals, so we should have some control over such unscrupulous behaviour, and be able to fight such instinct of promiscuity, and i agree!
My darling reminds me that females release one egg once a month while guys release 70 million sperm each time they ejaculate. So much for monogamy.

another reason why is that guys say that they get bored of their current relationship and the thrill of chasing another girl makes his life more intersting. well there is no denying that the chase can be more elaborate and fulfilling than the relationship itself. However, there is a commitment to make in relationships and going around chasing other skirts should not be for those who intend to keep their partners. ;p

then there is seduction, if the root of the problem is not with the guy, it has to be the vixen aint it? constant exposure to seduction and also lack of negative feelings towards the vixen will only lead to trouble in a short time, (like a stone of benevolence being attrited slowly) unless he is willing to stick to his current partner no matter what. Well usually vixens are more attractive, though they offer less stability and security, but well guys are always a bit thick headed when it comes to choosing sometimes.

then there are those that slowly and gradually inch closer to liking. it's a friend that you know, then you realise you got many things in common, then without a clear transition the intense liking happens, and you get shocked when you suddenly realise you start wanting to use the L word. The scariest reason in my opinion, it creeps on you slowly.

Well and to end this post. for those who have cheated and those who intend to cheat, think twice about how much you love your so called other half, because if you loved her enough, you wouldnt have cheated, and it is not really worth wasting time if there has been no love.

All you want to and ever need to know about glomerulonephritis

DOI: 10.1016/S0140-6736(05)66583-X

it's an article in Lancet 2005

=)

So smilies have started to make it on my blog titles!

studied well with the gf the past weekend and also got to cook ku lou yok (not a very good attempt though). Had a huge dinner with Becky's granduncles and their friends and i am really glad got to meet them, such successful people.

having MCRs (mini case reports(my mini exam)) tomorrow and i think i should be fine, but my tuttor just grilled 2 of my groupmates and i like his style: asking questions till you cannot answer them to assess your level of knowledge.

Apologies the photos are coming on slowly. it is a good thing: means i am actually studying ;p

it's getting quite cold here, but well at least they are getting some water for their drying dams.

so good luck to me tomorrow for MCRs, and hope my gastro/Renal/Urology rotation works out well =)

Happy Birthday!

First: Happy 23rd Birthday to John Lee Wei Chern. 2 Aug =) had a good call.

Then: Happy 21st Birthday to Bambie Lee. 3 Aug Thanks for everything =) photos will be up soon.

and something interesting to calculate distances in the world: Google Map Distance Calculator

Aparently, or as a matter of fact, i am 6059Km from Home while i sleep every night =)

Guilt

i have been awfully lazy. we think to ourselves of great excuses of why we have a reason to slack when we actually do not. the reasons include:

1. we have done so much already and deserve some rest (having a 6 day week, had a full day of ENT lectures)
2. we need to rest so that we can work harder later
3. we need to be at our best (after a rest) to study or work hard
4. .....

and then after when we slack we feel the guilt. or at least i do, because the reasons are not substantial enough to cover the lack of work i have accomplished. And then fear and guilt enters the scene.

• fear that we will not become capable enough for the future. especially for a few of us who will have lives at stake in our jobs
• fear that we will not be able to compete in a dog eat dog world
• guilt that time gone is never going to come back
• guilt that you have not lived up to the expectations of the many people suppporting you all the way

life is about pushing on, even when you are weary, resting only when you really need to.
concentrate on 1 thing at a time. it's the key to success: that's what many successful people said, including dad. this is especially so for people like me who totally cant multitask.

Place i want to go!

Originally uploaded by 米死米(MSM)

Varadero.

not taken by me but a friend online.

LOOK AT THE BLUE SKIES! OMG

yummy and if can bring gf to shoot somthing like tt WOW! =)
credits to 米死米(MSM)

the cold world Starts again after her birthday

after 4 weeks of fun and play. it's now time to face the cold reality of a sick dying world in cold cold Melbourne.

Got sick in the last week with the GF, and now getting better. though at the moment have got a headache that i refuse to medicate.

made a hazelnut parfait for the GF's birthday. it's like a hazelnut ice cream of sorts and took me 3 hours.

here's the recipe:

Yes! i took the picture. and i made that!

Honey and hazelnut parfait with chocolate sauce
Fantasy and inspiration, in the setting, at table, in the food
Ingredients for 12 portions:
For the chocolate sauce:

• unsweetened cocoa 8 g
• flour 4 g
• sugar 40 g
• milk 100 g
• Chopped baking chocolate 30g

For the Italian meringue:

• sugar 200 g
• egg white 100 g
• water 80 g

For the parfait:

• egg yolks 2
• sugar 50 g
• milk 165 g
• flour 8 g
• butter 5 g
• isinglass 4 g
• dairy cream 165 g
• Piedmont hazelnuts 80 g

Piedmont hazelnuts 20 g
honey 50 g
sugar 100 g
Start the chocolate sauce by mixing the ingredients cold, except for the baking chocolate. Heat over a low flame and bring to boiling. Remove from the burner and add the chopped baking chocolate; stir well until it dissolves. Cool and set aside.

Make the Italian meringue by boiling the sugar with water, bringing the mixture to 120° C. Beat the egg whites until stiff; add the sugar syrup and amalgamate the mixture until it cools.

For the parfait, soak the isinglass in a little cold water. Beat the egg yolks with the sugar, the flour and the melted butter. Combine mixture with the boiling milk; mix well and remove from the heat when it reaches boiling. At this point squeeze the water from the isinglass and add along with the cream.

Toast the hazelnuts in the oven for a few minutes; allow to cool. Chop 80 g of hazelnuts, pass through a sieve and add to the base of the parfait, together with the cold meringue. Pour mixture into single-portion moulds and put in the freezer for at least 6-8 hours.

Cook the sugar with the honey at 156° C and caramelise the remaining 20 g of toasted hazelnuts. With the rest of the sugar, form skeins of candy floss using the tines of a fork.

Turn out the parfaits on a plate and decorate with the chocolate sauce, the caramelised hazelnuts and the candy floss.

from:

<http://www.thi-hotels.com/hotels/golden-palace/restaurant/chef-recipes/honey-and-hazelnut-parfait-with-chocolate-sauce.html>

i modified a bit: used gelatin instead of isinglass, and added choc to the parfait to make it more brown.

better go to sleep soon before the headache gets worse

Back in Melbourne

So sad that i didnt get to meet so many people, even though it was a great break. Spending time with parents and the GF and of course a few bonus friends ehre and there.

Gentlemen start your engines, for the up coming semester. i got so much i havent done that i was supposed to do! Gambate!

Time is relative

here's a cool video about time and also a story about how humans develop and perish.

and i love the concept a lot =) think i am getting farty.

Bill Gates Retired.

Video: Bill Gates' Last Day - CES Clip

for those who havent been as nerdy as me, Bill Gates has just retired and here's the star studded video of how his last day at work it like. It got me laughing so badly lol.

And here is the timeline of his life (click for a high res version):


and of course credits to Gizmodo for the timeline, and tweakvista for the edited video of the presentation of CES 2008

another thing to share

for people who are like me a cheap freebie hunter who users rapidshare like no tomorrow 2 things

1. two search engines:
http://rapidshare-search-engine.com/
http://www.gappon.com

2. happy hour checking at rapidshare: you can d/l files from rapidshare during happy hours without answering security questions, this add on is for firefox only though.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/7353

interesting things to share

3 things to share this day:

1. Look out BEcky and Jon (Becky's bro) someone is really selling his life on ebay, ur days of telling people to go on bay to bid for a life (i.e. get a life) have come true. And you can really recommend people who need a life to go bid for one. It's set in perth so not too bad like the sun there.
the commentary
the ebay page

2. How Taipei 101 is stable when it's 600 feet (about 200m) from a fault line in the chinese earthquake. check out the video of the swerving of the ball (on the site)


3. photographs of the secret satelites for black ops. haha at least shots of them passing by.

and just an update. i am loving Singapore.

Back in Singapore

so i am back in singapore after a mad spontaneous rush to come back. And i told my parents about Becky and they're alright. went better than i expected. so i am happy happy.

weather's killing me. i am sweating like a pig, think i am burning enough calories just sitting here sweating.

diabetes update

here are 2 news articles that sum up what the latest trials in diabetes management show.
Los Angeles Times
ABC science

basically the trials are some what conflicting. so guess we need more studies. and the ACCORD and ADVANCE study are in the latest New England Journal of Medicine.

on a side note: 1 mth =)

5th June 2008

the day i remember how i am not to squander what god and my parents have given me, not to disappoint the people i love.

not to waste my time and not to be just mediocre when i actually can be so much better.

and i remember this thanks to you =)

the best and worst weekend in a long time

we sometimes forget weekends are 2 days. and where there is life there is balance, and therefore both good and bad. though u can argue that bad and good are subjective and the nature of the events or objects themselves are neither good or bad.

so here is my subjective view of my weekend lol.

havent posted on sunday as i have been disabled. physically and technologically. have been down with a cold, and becky thinks its the flu. since Saturday night. and had fever and chills Monday night. felling better now though i still sound terribly nasal and i wonder if i can make it for MCR on thurs. should be fine =) slept a total of 16 hours since last night. no wonder i feel good.

my laptop's hard disk died on sunday. i backed up most of my stuff dun worry. but i had to finish my assignment by monday so i had to borrow's Andrew's desktop to do it =) THANK ANDREW! and so monday went to Becky's and got to MSY to get cheap hdd and ram. was about $90 for a 250 GB hdd and $52 for a 2GB RAM. now i feel so powerful lol. and because of my disablements, i havent been up to scratch in terms of work and have been doing my tutorial tasks last minute, feeling bad about that.

and the good part: had lunch at the point with Becky, food was awesome in terms of entre and deserts. if u want details go see Becky's blog. then spent the rest of the day together =)

MCR's on thurs! so i better brush up my skills before then.

Gym

i need to gym more. gymed today. and think i pushed myself a bit hard. felt a bit fatigued and nauseous. man i am glad i didnt go for the 8 km run. maybe i just havent been running enough. and i neeed that echo for my heart. before i am willing to run more.

i neeeeeed to study!!!! i will study =) thanks to someone

=)

Finally the wait is over.
tired that's what i am from being happy =)

Relax

so now i'm in musculoskeletal rotation. much more slack than the head and neck rotation. but i am down with a bad sore throat, the Strep throat again. if not i prob would still be in the wards interviewing patients now.

on plastics at the moment. should be fun when i get into theatre. then there will be trauma, haha yummy ;p

well i sorta figured what i have to do to study. repetition. and prob give up working in the holidays to catch up. i'll see how it goes.

Glad there is someone out there pushing me hard to study =) and i almost forget the people i owe to where i am. my patients are awaiting for me to study lol.

Studying mechanisms

i need to take some time off my busy schedule to think about how i study. it's getting a bit too much for me to take. i am sooo behind and i am not studying efficiently if at all.

lack of concentration, fixing studying around my life rather than my life around studying.
the lack of repetition to fix stuff in my head: therefore leading to my lack of memory power.
it will be a waste of my pattern recognition skills and my comprehension power if i carry on decaying like this. i'll just end up like a piece of carrot, rotting, shrivelling up gradually. till the day i kill too many people and i will get chopped off.

at least now i can study for someone =)

and good luck to dear Poon Shi Hui who is gg to Edinburgh for electives. dun save too many lives there, try to have some fun while u are there.

Gadgets!

just when i thought external keyboards couldnt get any better:




and just when i thought there maybe hope for the increased incidence of obesity and diabetes in the world:



my gawd. wat has the world come to.

and congrats to the girl who has a new car =)

Nobel prize

is it too far a goal to get a nobel prize? i think not. we are all smart enough to do something good with our minds, if only we work hard at it, and stay humble, and not get the evilness of the people out there get to you, we should be able to reach there. where ever there maybe.

i have told many people this: when we are young it's easy to know what is the best you can do. to get 100 marks for an exam, to pass an interview, you know what is the highest possible achievement you can have. But when it comes to post graduate, or especially as a doctor in the future. what is the best you can offer in life? to save as many people as you can one at a time? to be a surgeon general? to go to 3rd world countries to help the unfortunate there? or research a new cure or new pathogenesis of a disease? or to earn as much money as you can? or to juggle either of these and have a nice normal family?

the highest mark is blurred, and i wonder what i will do. all i noe is i want a family life at this moment.

My first suturing victim

My first suturing victim
Originally uploaded by kerfern

another to add on to the list of Signs and Symptoms that you are a medical student:

you suture your dinner. lol this is my kitchen counter and my chopping board. 'lacerated' my chicken with my GLOBAL knife lol. poor chick: forgot to put Local anaesthesia before suturing.

i think i should use suturing more usefully: suture a chicken up after i stuff it with stuffings.

had a suturing tutor by a 5th year student who literally has sutured thousands of patients! man i'm jealous.

My world

My world spins around an axis,
and axis called Yew

without Yew, my world stops,
without Yew, my emotions crumble,
without Yew, i cant stand up straight as i used to.

Only Yew can hold my weight, the weight of my contents, my feelings, my thoughts.
With every dawning day, the bond between the axis and the world gets closer.

but when the bond is suddenly lost, the world spins out of control, the world falls;
it falls into a deep endless space.
The world realises he doesnt know which direction to fall to, for the only guidance he had was the axis.
up, down, left, or right?

down he went. and down and down till the feeling was so low. it was terrible.
it was terrible.
the world needs the axis.
My world needs Yew

i need to work harder

My mouse pad and easter egg from Ling and Daryl!
Originally uploaded by kerfern

been sleeping a lot lately. like average 9 to 10 hours. so you can think how much studying i have done if my days are usually 8 to 5ish.

got a great boost of momentum thanks to you and am studying real hard at this moment. i realise i have loads of catching up to do when looking at how consistent people are. and neuro got sooooo much to read lol.

and i havent even finish evaluating the Prof's examination dvd. love him to bits, so brilliant that he was barred from being an examiner somewhere as his standard of neurological examination was so high he failed too many ;p

i just went on my first ever Studio shoot organised by the monash photography club. have some pics, have a look. loved it. we shot so much that we blew a light. lol. funny for me but not for the club. there was this hot babe that was in a suggestive post and the floor of like 6-7 photographers cap shooting an triggering the studio flash continuously till it blew. haha. tt's how desperate guys are. or rather how sad ;p

and this is picture is the mouse pad and the easter egg that Ling and Daryl bought for me =) i heart u guys =)

Fever!

mm been feeling wierd with a sore throat. seems typical of a strep throat i usually get if i get a sore throat which is really rare. close to but not yet feverish. sigh.

easter break for this week went pass quick. and i have done well let's just put it as a bit more than nothing. had a great time watchin Step up 2. according to my sources, the dancing is not as good as Step up 1, which i didnt watch.

photos are all up. so go have a look.

and i am ebaying a bit too much nowadays. eyeing a new wide angle lens.
SP AF17-50mm F/2.8 XR Di II LD Aspherical [IF]

with this i can rule the world ahahaha. that is if i pass med skool.

those blardy noobs at ebay better stop bidding for my lens. it's getting a bit too costly =(

time for me to go do my assignment. sigh

I carry your heart with me

has been a slow easter. not out and about, not studying, just playing Worms Armageddon.

but well at lat got my photoshop C3 to work. and finished editing my photos. so go have a look. Went Wilson's Prom to see the Squeaky beach with Jas, Terrence, Vivek. It was quite cool because of the high quartz content. Every step u take squeaks =)

Time now to get down to work. Bought a new flash diffuser. but a cheaper version lol. made in China ;p and well hoping i can get a new wide angle F/2.8 lens. it's on ebay for AUD$50 at the moment. hope those 5 people stop bidding hahaha, 3 more days to go ;p

And suddenly Winter is slipping through the door. Freezing these days. A poem that's so lovely. recommended by a friend =)

I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

Sweet and simple =)

Heavy Hearted

i wonder what is worse, a heavy heart or a myocardial infarct. they are both crushing, but i have never felt a heart attack before.

i feel inadequate. there is so little i noe about neurology, than to my lack of studying of neuroanat for the past 2 years. and i am sad that i am starting to question my desire for surgery. it just doesnt turn me on as much as Gen med rotation. maybe i'll end up a renal or endocrine physician. or just be like my idol who knows everything about everything, and still so nice and willing to teach.

so i am heavey hearted, because of
1. waiting
2. confused about what i want to do in the future
3. inadequacy of my understanding neuroanat
4. neurosurgery which is supposedly one of the most exciting surgeries is not making my eye twinkle in delight
5. i have no extra curricular activities.

maybe i should get in contact with the photography club. i am soooo tired. and i havent studied all week. and it doesnt help that i am insatiable when it comes to perfection, and i am no where near that.

oh boy, head and neck next.

so i finished 5 weeks of rotation at Gen Med. where basically complicated patients are sent. I have had soooooo much fun. seeing all the interesting cases whether rare or common. and it's interesting to noe patients so well they noe u by name. and smile when they just see u, and actually flexing their left hand when u hit their right biceps tendon just for fun. lol

medicine i learn is actually not about completeness, but about a directed approach to decipher the pattern of signs and symptoms.

i am seriously starting to doubt whether i should be a surgeon.
1. i actually like interacting with patients and also probably the love i have to give patients will not be as much as when i do surgery.
2. i like tackling the interesting puzzles of curious patients like Fever of Unknown Origin.
3. i met a renal consultant and another Urologist i think. both of which inspire me to be like them. i want to beat the renal consultant by getting my foot in to the level of a consultant in 7 years after i graduate. wahaha

many things have been on my mind. actually only 1 thing. but it's been running around my mind, almost hard to catch and stop it. i wonder how long the wait has to be. well i do hope good things come to people who wait =)

up and coming: head and neck
and i got 1 week of neurosurgery. and i have yet to read anything about the head. lol

dead tired

it's time for me to change how i prioritise.

work has been stacking up a lot. and i have been doing useless stuff. like processing photos.

had a great party last night at my place. for Ling, my housemate. Daryl and I surprised her with 40 odd people stuck in our apartment. Thanx to those who turned up and those who helped out, especially: Bamdrew ;p, Emily and people who turned up though they had something on. thanx everyone for making it a great party

made the 2nd chocolate cake in my life. this one tasted so GOOD! and i will post the recipe up soon. cant remember the original location. it was from a food blog. probably the first and last cake recipe i encounter that uses boiling water. lol

photos will have to wait for now. i got too much work at hand. "it's labour day today. we should be labouring," said Becky.

meanwhile many other photos are up. my shots in Singapore, the first few mths in melb this year and a whole lot of parties.

missing and still yet to process are Ming Jian's and Ling's smashing parties =)

"peace out"

women...

i like the hazardous material datasheet;p

Tormented

Tormented as can be. he lives his life. always distracted. even in sleep.
he ponders his life. how he got here, and where is he to go from here.

his heart beats. he feels his heart beat.

he stones. though he never did. what has happened to him?

food has taste? the world passes by as he walks through it, almost having a car in his head.
cooking? 'i'd rather try to sleep, i'm tired, really tired,' he says. who the hell enjoys cooking?

at last there was light =)

ah, internet has made it's way into my home. at last it is complete. wahahaha

LOADS of photos to edit and upload, no time now though, still trying to adjust to 3rd year.

i realise that hospitals are so much fun, and patients are fun to work with especially when they are delirious.

really got to go. promise to update as i used to. every Sunday. =)

Later...

lately, it's been busy. i'll prob post more stuff when i settle my housing or my life has stabalised.

issues to talk about:

mind games.
friendships and love

peace out

i'm in melb

back in melb. recloned my lappy (Dorothy) and staying at Bambie's place for the moment, till Andrew and Ling can find a place with me.

This time i feel incredibly much more sad than the previous times i left singapore. i wonder why. ;p

Love and lust

so today i had a sudden realisation. we always ponder about the differences of love and lust. then i found a situation which distinguishes both quite clearly.

when say the object of affection/lust, is sick or unhealthy. in a situation of lust, you will only want to meet him/her after he/she has recovered for more sex. but in a situation of love, you would want to spend more time with him/her to help him/her recover faster, to help while they cant move, to get that cup of water when they are thirsty.

anyone has any comments?

<2 weeks till i return to Melbourne

first and foremost, photos are up =) one of the better batches of photos i have so far.

i miss Singapore already, although i havent left here yet. so many things to do. think i have a illness: to make myself exceptionally over-busy. I wonder how am i going to retire next time.

quite a few things i have thought about. was with dad and his good old friend and ex colleague. they are the ones that have seen much of our society and have loads of comments on what's good and bad, therefore in my opinion they are the ones who are in the best position to suggest what changes can be made to further improve society. however it seems like naturally, they are the ones that have let go of wanting to change society after facing so much inertia from the public sector towards suggestions. So, sadly, the people who know what needs to be changed in society are the ones who will not give suggestions.

the new mean testing system which the health ministry just announced was also what they were talking about just before it was announced. if they had their views seen, different policies like mean testing would have come out so much earlier.

i have been scrapbooking, and spent a bomb at madewithlove, with the girls there staring at me, why a guy would be so interested in scrapping... met many people this week, and i am still waiting for someone to tell me when we are meeting ;pp

housing is a tad of a worry to me, but i am confident we can find a nice and comfy one, with my 大哥 and 小妹 i.e. Andrew and Ling lol. so i'm the middle child, someone better give me some attention.

results wise, seems like the singaporeans did well for our exams, so did i. i didnt score fantastic in my opinion, but well i need to work much harder than tt.

hoping to sell my camera soon the older one tt is.

global recession up ahead . . . well dad has been saying this for at least a year, and well the US is going down, and the world will crumble with it, if they did not diversify their investments and reserves and whatevernots. so buy time soon, and soon maybe mid or end 2008.